Official Silliness Thread Salutes The World of Odd Humor

BBC--to make it look official and British-like ^ | 7-7-06 | sully777

[Lucky9teen]

Such a smart a$$...

[wallcrawlr]

faggot

[nuke rocketeer]

Then the pun-ishment will continue.......


Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon, it was to be different. Trouser's owners were walking him along a trail at the park, when suddenly from out of the bushes jumped a man all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face, and was gesturing annoyingly at Trouser's masters. This strange person spoke not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box and that he was pulling on a long rope. Seeing the sheer horror on his masters' faces, Trouser took it upon himself to rectify the situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank his teeth into this annoying pseudo clown's leg. Trouser immediately got a sickened look in his eyes and began to vomit wildly. He then dragged his tongue all over the ground in an effort to remove the man's foul essence from his mouth. For Trouser had learned that .... a mime is a terrible thing to taste.

[nuke rocketeer]

A few I make up, but most are from my extensive collection,,,,

Animal activist Bo Derek was horrified to learn that the Queen of England wears antique sable coats.
She decided to confront the Queen over the issue, and arranged to get herself invited to an event which the Queen was also due to attend.
So a couple of months later, there they were at a very high class tea party. Rich people everywhere. Bo started looking around for the Queen. Sure enough, there she was. It was time for the confrontation!
She marched up to the Queen, and demanded an answer.
Elizabeth responded haughtily: "Some wear old fur to reign, Bo."

[nuke rocketeer]

I once had a friend who was a renowned clinical psycologist. He used to tell me about all the patients he had seen. One of the most interesting cases he told me about involved a schizophrenic with multiple personality disorder.At times this person believed himself to be a temptress in a Bizet opera. At other times he was convinced that he was the head of the German Luftwaffe in WW II.
The concensus of the practitioners was that the poor fellow didn't know if he was Carmen or Goerring

[nuke rocketeer]

No idea, I ducked out for a while......

[nuke rocketeer]

Trolls are always goblin their food too quickly.
Fairy-nuff, but someone should tell them it's bad for their elf.

I asked for a pitcher full of beer....
So he brought me a drunk baseball player.

I went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a mussel.

[nuke rocketeer]

This thread is dead Jim....

[BruceysMom]

A penguin gets in his car. As he's driving he notices that his car is making a funny noise, so he heads over to his mechanic's shop. When he gets there he tells the mechanic about the noise. The mechanic says he'll have a look at it but he has to finish another car first. So the penguin goes outside and looks for a way to kill some time. Well right across the street is an ice cream parlor, and ice cream is his favorite food. He goes in orders a vanilla cone and proceeds to eat it. Well we all know that penguins don't have fingers,just flippers and so he makes quite a mess. After he finishes the cone he goes back to the mechanic's shop and the mechanic is working on his car.
The mechanic says "Looks like you blew a seal" the penguin says "Nope, thats just ice cream"

[EveningStar]

Okay, we broke 500. My job is done.

Yes, indeed!

[diamond6]

That is just ......so wrong.

[diamond6]

I saw a duck and her offspring cross a busy intersection recently. I don't know if she made it, and don't want to know what happened.

Stuff like that makes me terribly sad.

[BJClinton]

That was fowl.

[BJClinton]

But the one on the left giving the come-hither look and grabbing the other's belly fat really makes it work.

[BruceysMom]

Roy Rogers goes into town to buy some new cowboy boots. He proudly wears them home, but when he steps on the porch Dale says "Roy I just mopped the floor, so leave your boots on the porch." Roy takes 'em off and goes inside. They sit down to eat supper and as Roy looks out the dining room window he sees a cougar come onto the porch and take off with his boots. Roy jumps up, heads out the door and is hot on the cats trail. An hour later he comes back with a dead cougar slung over his shoulder and Dale says........



"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed you new shoes?"

[EveningStar]

That's older than my grandmother. And she farts dust.

[BJClinton]

I don't get it.

[EveningStar]

"Pardon me, boy, is that the Chattanooga Choo-choo?"

[BJClinton]

*blank stare*

[EveningStar]

Here