Posted on 04/18/2006 2:27:46 AM PDT by Chairman_December_19th_Society
We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail!
Good morning!!
Do not let the victims of the attacks on New York and Washington, nor the brave members of our Nation's military who have given their lives to protect our freedom, die in vain!!
Will be packing today for vacation, and for the next few days we will have guest ranters. For today, however, I'd thought I'd leave you with some humor to get things rolling...
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Actual occurrences at an otherwise unnamed airline ticket office in Washington, DC:
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1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
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2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly! explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa," Her response - click.
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3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!"
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4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."
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5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
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6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
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7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
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8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
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9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."
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10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
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11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
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12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?"replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal".
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Thus, the state of our Government.
For AMERICA - The Right Way, I remain yours in the Cause, the Chairman.
Checking in for a minute. Going out to do yard work in just a few minutes.
I was out for about 30 minutes and then the black flies were swarming..bigtime. They were swarming in my face so close I was afraid I'd inhale a bunch. In fact, some followed me in the house.
At least a little progress was made in the bed around the shed.
I don't believe that New Hampshire has a "Congresswoman". Other than that, it is believable.
Well, I was invited to a "P!$$ing Match", but nobody came.
Apparently the Dimwits were met at the drive of the Capitol by a police barricade. They were turned away.
End of Story.
I am going to go home this afternoon to attend to a few pressing details (planting Lily Bulbs). I'll hit the road early again tomorrow morning.
Some things are just so important that they must take precidence over everything else.
I know just what you mean about something are more important than others. In a few minutes I'm off to buy some fushion paint and paint one of the molasses containers from the ranch and then overpaint it with some paint that will make it look like stone or concrete or whatever. I may then rub it with a little gold paint to make it look like an expensive "mexican" planter. I'm going to put it by a tree in front of the house, and put some cantaloupes in it, plus some zinnas, marigolds and whatever. I have an old unused sewer pipe that I've attached a bottom to, complete with hole in place, I'm going to plant a couple a mini roses, something that falls down the side, and a pony tail plant. bbl
Well...long story.......I got to the hotel...and my passport was gone (I have a leather passport holder and I also keep my travel stuff in there - tickets, etc)....somebody stole it (it looks like a wallet)
So -- I guess I need to get to an embassy
Take care Rav..
If you have problems, call your US Senator's office.
That is a major hassle. I'm very sorry. I hope things go smoothly as you straighten this out.
Darn! I hope it gets resolved soon and with no hassle.
I didn't read your post. Honest.
Are you home? Were you able to plant the lilies or am I jumpin' the gun??
I am home, but the lilies aren't planted yet. The farmers had an important "Honey Do" problem for me to face. I was clean. I was not planting corn. I ran their errand for them and now I'm about ready to go outside to plant the lilies. (both Asiatic and Oriental)
Hopefully your company does as well.
/johnny
/johnny
When I had a family, I had backup plans and backup supplies... now, I've got 7 ice-cubes. ;>)
I've gotta dust off the old Y2K plans.
/johnny
It's mighty hard to take a shower with that kind of pressure. I hope they fix whatever the problem is...soon!
The old frenchman has a well and a privacy fence. It's not like I haven't had 30 second, 'navy style', showers recently (Alaska). I'll manage that part. But I've got a sink full of dishes... And the old privey was closed up and filled in in 1963...
I may drag a couple of 5 gallon buckets over the fence.
/johnny
Whoa..tough words there, lysie. LOL
lysie, would wearing a beekeeper's hat with veil help? I bet you could get one at your local co-op.
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