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To: EequalsMC2; WhyisaTexasgirlinPA; grellis
But men are people too..and pretty much emotionally challenged.

This is truth. Very rare is the guy out there without some sort of baggage. Especially in these days when men are not really taught how to be men anymore. (and with the breakdown in the family this will get worse)

Then why is love a commandment? Love is NOT EASY after so many years, so many trials. Nope. FEELING love is easy, MAKING love is easy.

Loving someone when they are NOT LOVABLE is NOT easy. It is WORK. I know. been there for years!

This is also true. Real love is the decision to lay down your life for your mate. It has nothing to do with feelings. During my wife's illnes and sometimes during the events leading up to it, I found myself wanting to run away. I didn't 'feel' love anymore. However I did still love her (because I had decided to) and so I stayed.

Loving someone is the absolute hardest thing a person can ever do. It is also the most rewarding.

No, the husband who strays is wrong. My comment meant that does not make the wife seeking divorce is right!

The wife bears responsibility..wheteher she likes it or not, whether it is fair or not.

Here you are totally wrong. It doesn't matter what the wife did or did not do. (hsmomx3, the following does not apply to you, I'm speaking only in generalities here) She may have been a total shrew, an evil, vicious, liberal woman who starched his underwear just out of spite and cooked him poached eggs for breakfast every day because she knew he hated poached eggs. She could have weighed 400lbs and smelled of dirty underwear and wet dogs. She could have sold his tools and used the money to paint his car chartruese.

If he cheated on her it is still entirely his fault. He broke the marriage vows. He can't go blaming that on her behavior. "But she was mean to me" < /whiny wimpy husband voice> Too bad. Either get counseling together to fix it or learn to live with it. (of course if she is physically abusive, abandons him or is adulterous herself then he can divorce her).

What made this man seek another?,

It doesn't matter what or why. The only thing that matters is that he decided to break his vows. He deserves to be shunned from polite society and deserves to lose everything he ever held dear until he regains his senses and his wife decides to accept him back (and she doesn't have to). He has proven himself to be less than a full man.

I fulfilled my vows. I despise any 'man' who refuses to.

81 posted on 01/24/2006 7:54:17 AM PST by John O (God Save America (Please))
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To: John O; EequalsMC2; grellis
I agree. Perhaps my situation is more unique than I first thought, but after 21 years of marriage I'm still very much in love with my husband.

I find it sad that anyone can blame their actions on something another has done. That sounds like a child's excuse. "I hit her because she hit me first"

And Happy Birthday to the spouse of Grellis

83 posted on 01/24/2006 8:03:09 AM PST by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: John O

I've said it before, I'll say it again, certainly not for the last time--your wife was one truly blessed woman, being married to a man like you!


85 posted on 01/24/2006 8:17:02 AM PST by grellis (can't sleep clown will eat me)
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