Another couple of fine pieces from Prime Choice:
Posted on 11/18/2005 5:50:36 AM PST by BJClinton
Yeah! Made it to the weekend and it's hunting season. Since Turkey Day is just a few days away that means my two favorite football games are up. UT vs. TAMU and the Cowboy's Thanksgiving Debacle. But looming on the horizon is the dreaded Christmas gift-shopping. Maybe this year I'll get it done well before we head off to the folks place....nah, who am I kidding.
Another couple of fine pieces from Prime Choice:
OK---
Directly from my Arabic Music and Gossip site---
(Translation stands as written)
Jackson Disguised as a woman in Dubai
Popstar Michael Jackson was seen in ladies room at a shopping mall in Dubai , before going to a library when people started gathering around him then police was called.
Shoppers mentioned seeing Jackson last saturday in the mall as he entered ladies room, and when he was discovered there he rush to a library, then a lot of police men arrived to the mall as quoted by newspapers.
An Australian worker mentioned ,according to Saudi newspaper Al Riyadh, " it was certainly Jackson,he was walking around in the mall wearing Abaya and covering his head".
it's known that Jackson has moved to live in Bahrain after his trial last year regarding accusation of sexual harrasment with a child where he was found not guilty as charged.
Announcer: And now, the men of the Second Armored Division with their famous close order swanning about.
Sergeant: Squad... Camp it up!
Soldiers: Ooh get her! Whoops, I've got your number ducky, you couldn't afford me dear, two three. I'll scratch your eyes out! Don't come the Brigadier bit with us dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy. Two, three, one, two, three, four, five, six. Whoops! Don't look now girls, the man has just minced in with that jolly colour Sergeant, two three. OOOOH! /Monty Python
Like that, they look pretty damn french to me! Oh, and Dasher has france in the properties, too.
I learned a lot from the Clinton administration: Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter acccusations.
Have fun, take pictures & get Max as drunk as you can! (Will probably only require two wine coolers.) ;o)
Have fun, y'all!
FEMALES VS MALES:
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20,
even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor,
a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children.
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments
and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and
dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.
14. AND FINALLY.....
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to
concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws"
Sounds fun, have a great time!
OMG!
Oh that's cold.
Now THAT is comedy. Bravo sir.
Or possibly a sign that I have too much spare time.
I think it's best to be the guy closest to the launch ramp!
Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed
One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."
One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a lady was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horses blond mane and a big ass. Now she's the Senator from New York."
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