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Parody ZOT of Free Republic

Posted on 11/03/2005 10:28:48 PM PST by TheMadLurker

If you have a sense of humor, and can poke fun at yourself:

http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/fear4republic/


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To: Alice au Wonderland

We're not in outer space yet.

We're still sitting comfortably in the ocean waters near Eniwetok. You probably slept through the tsunami that went by about a few weeks ago.

We're pumping tons of ocean water through our electro-chemical sieve, collecting useful bits of detritus such as titanium, gold, copper, and iridium.

I thought it might be useful to expand the scope of our gleaning, now that we've collected our needed amounts of U-know-what.


7,981 posted on 12/15/2005 6:16:24 PM PST by NicknamedBob (To all my FRiends on Free Republic, *Merry Christmas*,& to all my Jewish Friends, *Merry Christmas*)
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To: Monkey Face; Kindly Old Doc Tsu; Alice au Wonderland
I am the Lord Humungous! I found it:

Uncle Harry's Boston Brown Bread

A Traditional Treat in my family.
Great hot or cold, with butter, cream-cheese, or plain. Goes well with coffee and cocoa. This recipe yields two loaves.

{Abbreviations: Tsp = Teaspoon; Tbsp = Tablespoon}
italics = my notes/addenda to the traditional recipe text

You will need:
1 egg, grade A Large
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup enriched white flour (NOT Cake Flour)
1 12oz tin of Evaporated Milk
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup dark molasses (Brer Rabbit Mild Flavor is traditional, but any will do... EXCEPT "Blackstrap")
White Vinegar or Lemon Juice (I prefer lemon juice, but white vinegar is fine)
Baking Soda (NOT Baking Powder)
Salt
Water (tap water will do fine)
1 stick of Butter
2 normal-size bread pans (@9"x5"x2.5"deep, what Kroger’s calls “Large”)
measuring cup, measuring spoons, good stout fork or batter-beater/whisk
2 fair-sized mixing bowls (say, in the range of 8-10" diameter)
1 brown paper grocery bag*

In one bowl thoroughly mix the following ingredients: 2 Cups Whole Wheat Flour, 1 Cup White Flour, 1 Tsp Salt.

In a different bowl, mix whole tin of Evaporated Milk, 1 Cup Water, 2-3 Tbsp Vinegar or Lemon Juice to make Sour Milk. Let thicken for approximately 10 minutes.

Take this opportunity to grease liberally the sides and bottom of the loaf pans with butter and to preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. When the mixture has thickened, add 1 Egg and mix well. Add 1/2 Cup Sugar and 1/2 Cup Molasses; mix well.

Now, you will have to work like a fiend: Working quickly, add 2 Tsp Baking Soda to Sour Milk mixture. Give it a quick, thorough stir and dump into the flour mixture. Quick stir, mix thoroughly
(you will see it bubble up. This is a chemical reaction between the acid in the soured milk mixture and the base in the baking soda. It produces carbon dioxide gas, which in turn provides the "rise" for the loaves in the place of a yeast reaction. You gotta work like mad here, or the chemistry will die out and your loaves won't rise and it'll be a nasty mess)

Still moving right along, Pour mixture into baking pans---DO NOT OVERLOAD (@1/2 to 3/5 full)---and bake for around 45 minutes or 'til solid. (The tops should be a dark brown, with some expansion cracks, firm and resilient to the touch. A good test is to stick a piece of straw or spaghetti into the loaf and remove quickly - if it comes out sticky, the loaf ain't done)

Lay the paper bag flat on your countertop
*(if it is a white top, especially if made from modern materials, you will want to put a couple layers of paper towels or a clean dishrag under the bag to protect finish against possible stains)

Invert pans over paper bag and let the loaves steam inside the pans until they (the loaves) fall out.

EAT.

be advised: Molasses is a bit of a laxative agent, so resist the urge to gorge yourself silly on this stuff

7,982 posted on 12/15/2005 6:16:44 PM PST by King Prout (many accuse me of being overly literal... this would not be a problem if many were not under-precise)
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To: Kindly Old Doc Tsu
Ah. Je comprends, maintenant. Tu es Américainne, si tu parle seulement une langue qui est Anglais.
7,983 posted on 12/15/2005 6:17:04 PM PST by Alice au Wonderland (I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.)
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To: NicknamedBob
You probably slept through the tsunami that went by about a few weeks ago.

There was another?

7,984 posted on 12/15/2005 6:18:00 PM PST by Irish_Thatcherite (~~~A vote for Bertie Ahern is a vote for Gerry Adams!~~~)
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To: Darksheare
I'm in level 4C aren't I.

only if you went through the SOUTH iris

7,985 posted on 12/15/2005 6:18:16 PM PST by King Prout (many accuse me of being overly literal... this would not be a problem if many were not under-precise)
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To: NicknamedBob

I merely meant that you really do have the ultimate say here, Bob.

And we're so grateful that you've collected the extra you-know-what.


7,986 posted on 12/15/2005 6:18:57 PM PST by Alice au Wonderland (I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.)
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To: King Prout

That's the one you mentioned...


7,987 posted on 12/15/2005 6:19:22 PM PST by Darksheare ("Keep it just between us..." she said, and then she faded into the mist.)
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To: Alice au Wonderland

What kind of recipe is that?


7,988 posted on 12/15/2005 6:19:34 PM PST by Baraonda (Demographic is destiny. Don't hire 3rd world illegal aliens nor support businesses that hire them.)
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To: Alice au Wonderland

et un peu kmer.


7,989 posted on 12/15/2005 6:19:35 PM PST by Kindly Old Doc Tsu ("mmph!" - Pogo. Someday I shall own a horse named "Mxlplkt")
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To: Alice au Wonderland

*chuckling*
I thought it was tastefully lewd, myself :)


7,990 posted on 12/15/2005 6:19:43 PM PST by King Prout (many accuse me of being overly literal... this would not be a problem if many were not under-precise)
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To: NicknamedBob

Colorful.


7,991 posted on 12/15/2005 6:20:09 PM PST by Tax-chick ("Dick Cheney never trims his own nails. He simply stares at them until the tips melt off.")
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To: King Prout; Monkey Face; All

It is important to mention that this bread is great for snacking purposes, but should never be used as "regular" sandwich bread.

Enjoy!


7,992 posted on 12/15/2005 6:21:02 PM PST by Alice au Wonderland (I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.)
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To: Darksheare

good. going through the NORTH iris would have been very very bad. it leads to the heat transfer elements from the reactor


7,993 posted on 12/15/2005 6:21:07 PM PST by King Prout (many accuse me of being overly literal... this would not be a problem if many were not under-precise)
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To: All

Eve'nin, all...straight vodka tonight, 'tender, no ice


7,994 posted on 12/15/2005 6:21:36 PM PST by timpad (The Wizard Tim - Keeper of the Holy Hand Grenade, Finder of Obscurata)
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To: Kindly Old Doc Tsu

j'ai penser que ce langue est "khmai"


7,995 posted on 12/15/2005 6:22:09 PM PST by King Prout (many accuse me of being overly literal... this would not be a problem if many were not under-precise)
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To: NicknamedBob

So, I may join it and the "parlor?"


7,996 posted on 12/15/2005 6:22:27 PM PST by Baraonda (Demographic is destiny. Don't hire 3rd world illegal aliens nor support businesses that hire them.)
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To: Baraonda

Boston Brown Bread. Ancient family recipe.


7,997 posted on 12/15/2005 6:22:29 PM PST by Alice au Wonderland (I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.)
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To: Kindly Old Doc Tsu

Most of the smooth talkers I've met weren't necessarily
educated. I've also known some educated men who had
no imagination & made for very bland conversation. Eh.


7,998 posted on 12/15/2005 6:22:29 PM PST by Darkchylde (Don't try my brother's coffee!)
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To: Monkey Face
Where's that blow torch thingy?...

I've found it:


7,999 posted on 12/15/2005 6:22:50 PM PST by Irish_Thatcherite (~~~A vote for Bertie Ahern is a vote for Gerry Adams!~~~)
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To: All

sw00p


8,000 posted on 12/15/2005 6:22:55 PM PST by timpad (The Wizard Tim - Keeper of the Holy Hand Grenade, Finder of Obscurata)
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