Parody ZOT of Free Republic

[TheMadLurker]

If you have a sense of humor, and can poke fun at yourself:

http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/fear4republic/

[Tax-chick]

Nebulous goals produce nebulous results.

Yeah, that would be me. "Nebulous" sounds much better than "huge."

[Monkey Face]

Yah...blame my mother.
My metabolism only needs a nudge and it will begin to work efficiently again. I need to be able to work up to 30 minutes three times a week, if I can, rather than 15 minutes six times a week.
But I wouldn't trade the Gazelle! I only paid $99 for it and it has paid for itself at least four times.

[Alice au Wonderland]

I remind my-self that round is a shape.

[Dead Corpse]

Yeah... I wish I had the genetics for a leaner frame. I'm a bit a on the short side for how wide I am. I'm what they used to call "barrel chested". I was 51" for a while there, but now I'm actually up an inch t0 52". Unfortunately, I've also got my Dad's propensity towards a bit of a gut/love handles type thing. It's been murder trying to gain mass without putting on tons of flab too.

Not this time though. I'm not so worried about gaining mass at this point. Just get back into it without modifying the diet for more protein or anything. Keep the intake steady while expending more calories on a weekly basis.

Of course I'm a horn-dog. I wouldn't be neearly as much fun to have around if I wasn't...

[Tax-chick]

I'm sort of eggplant-like.

[Dead Corpse]

"Never give up. Never surrender". -Galaxy Quest

My whole new kick here started off with the mindset that "doing 'something' was better than doing nothing at all".

Been working fine so far... ;-)

[Alice au Wonderland]

My metabolism has taken a nosedive. Couple that with stress and I have to really work to take off the excess tonnage.

Congorats to you on your svelter self! Keep up the good work!

[Dead Corpse]

Right up until the last couple of weeks, I actually thought Zon looked kinda sexy when she was pregnant with Ana. That was one thing I wasn't expecting.

[Alice au Wonderland]

Perhaps, but it's not a permanent condition.

I always looked great after my pregnancies. It was the world's best diet plan for me.

I would spend the first 4-5 months eating nothing but jello (I had hyperemisis gravidarum), the last three months eating sensibly, and then the post-partum calorie burn as I nursed the babies.

I was one hot chick after Tertius. Slim, well muscled, great bosom. *sigh*

[Tax-chick]

I have not solicited an opinion from my spouse on that subject, but at least he doesn't mention that I've clearly gained a ton and look like a giant eggplant!

[Alice au Wonderland]

I don't mind the increased fat deposits in the bosom area, but the belly, sides, and thighs just have to go. They can be femininely muscular, but they have to stop jiggling!

[Tax-chick]

I put on a lot of weight in pregnancy, but then I go to Weight Watchers. One of my best friends in Oklahoma gets hyperemesis. She's expecting her 8th baby, too, in May, unless she's miscarried again since the last time she e-mailed.

[Alice au Wonderland]

What was the other thing(s) that you weren't expecting?

[Dead Corpse]

Hehhe... I think Zon actually started getting a bit annoyed.Especially when I insisted I thought she still looked great. She thought I'd lost my mind.

And no... I never once mentioned her weight. I still don't. Of course, I still think she looks great... and not just because she dropped back to her pre-pregnancy weight pretty quickly.

[Alice au Wonderland]

I made up for the hyperemesis with mercifully swift deliveries. I "drop the calf" within 18 minutes of my water breaking and that's after only a few hours of real contractions.

[Dead Corpse]

Well, it was my first time being a Father, so pretty much everything else about the whole process. ;-)

I'd just never thought that a pregnant gal could turn me on so much. Turns out, it isn't just any pregnant gal... just Zon. Sorry ladies... ;-)

[Tax-chick]

From the pictures you've posted, she's very pretty, and an attractive size in every shot I've seen.

[Alice au Wonderland]

I had a friend whose bustline increased dramatically with her pregnancy. One day, she put her hand on her ribcage to visually divide her bustline from her tummy and said to her husband, "Pretty great from here on up, huh?!"

[Tax-chick]

My deliveries have all been pretty easy, except for the posterior breech, and even that was effortless up to the last half hour, when I had to deliver the boy butt-first with local anesthesia.

[Monkey Face]

"By Grabthar's hammer!" I will succeed!

My early years of swimming has given me broad shoulders and narrow hips, so I buy men's jeans because I have no butt to fill out women's jeans...

And my hypoglycemic diet is perfect for this exercise.