Posted on 10/09/2005 3:52:49 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Id always heard dogs are chick magnets, but Id never gathered any direct evidence while occasionally dog-sitting Benji, a midsize mutt who doesnt exert one gauss of magnetizing action. Then, shortly after a broken engagement left me suddenly single, a friend asked me to look after the sort of animal I have always considered useless: a quivering, rat-faced toy poodle.
Well, Hugo cannot herd sheep or scare off intruders or catch a Frisbee. But, Lord, he pulls human females. Fifteen seconds after I hit the pavement with Hugo, women were positively yelping with pleasure at my little friend. In Columbus Circle, Hugo leaped onto the lap of a sweet-faced German college student. Later, he worked his trembling-dog magic on Julia, a public-health grad student. (I dont know why he always seems so nervous, but it works.) This dog really is pretty cute, she allowed, as Hugo showed her his pink tongue and nuzzled her left breast.
The Hugo-Benji disparity left me with several questions: Could Hugo be topped? Would an even bigger poodle exert an even more forceful draw? Which dog is the most effective chick magnet of all? I decided to hit the streets with a half-dozen of them to unscientifically settle a matter much debated at dog runs.
Field observations Lila, the standard poodle: With a show-quality dog prancing by my side on the Upper West Side, not a single person of either gender looked me in the eye. After a half-hour of nothing, I pulled aside a woman with curly hair and a Sandra Bullock smile. If you see a guy with a poodle, you think hes married, said Allison, 23. Plus, the dog is poofy.
Roo, the Australian cattle-dog puppy: In the lobby of Animal Care and Control, Roo immediately pressed his front paws onto me and licked my face. On East 86th Street, my pointy-eared wingman elicited a shriek when he tried to lick the face of a woman selling books from a card table. But then Kristina, a doe-eyed 21-year-old brunette, stopped her stroll and giggled, Hello, baby to Roo and Hello to me. If a woman likes being licked by a puppy, shes my sort. Overall, the adoption-ready Roo (for information, call 311) wasnt bad, but he wasnt Hugo either.
Moca, the golden retriever, and Ernie Romeo, the long-haired dachshund: With little reaction garnered from the fairer sex, both purebred dogs offered good looks but little charm.
Rudy, the three-legged mutt: Please do not consider sawing off a dogs legbut if you did, youd improve your luck. Rudy, a mix of German shepherd, Airedale terrier, chow chow, and Rottweiler, has pretty much every scary dog in his pedigree. But sans a leg, hes a female sympathy sponge. As we limped toward the dog run in Union Square, I heard from a bench, Ooh, look at the poor fellow, and turned to meet Alexandra, 29, a dimple-cheeked publishing intern visiting New York from Berlin. Hes cute, she said. So was she. Rudys drawback is that he inspires everyone, landing me in conversations with deliverymen, homeless folks, and megaphone preachers. He also did what a lot of dogs do: sniff indiscriminately at the genitals of other dogs.
Disco, the great dane: Convinced no dog could out-magnetize Hugo, I tried a most unlikely rival: a pony-size Great Dane with a metal-spiked collar and bridge-cable leash. Three steps into Washington Square Park, we were surrounded by a group of female NYU undergrads, pressing in and petting Disco without fear. When I finally broke away, one called out, I could ride him like a horse! A few steps later I met Casey, a skinny, brown-eyed anthro major whom I wish I did not find so devastatingly attractive because she is 21 and I am barely still in my thirties.
Physical or cultural anthro? I asked.
Cultural, she replied. I always go for the cultural types, the ones who prefer living people to bones, who want to travel and live with the !Kung or Solomon Islanders for a spell. I felt guilty asking for Caseys phone number, but she gave it to me all the same. Damn that Discohe fetched trouble.
Walking home from the park, dogless, I talked to zero females. Maybe thats better: no 21-year-old temptations. Some dogs make meeting women easier, but only if one wants to sniff indiscriminately. Im probably better off with Benji.
I got him from a rescue organization who picked him up in an orchard in Tennesee. No one ever saw mom & dad that we know of, so I have no clue what he really is. He's a very good dog though.
In the top one, the dog just looks thrileld to death to have a buddy.
In the top one, the dog just looks thrileld to death to have a buddy. Nice pics!
Does that receipt in the picture mean your dog helps you with your taxes? My dog hasn't learned that one.
His name is Kane... after Kandy Kane of all things. He turns 2 on Halloween and is already somewhere in the neighborhood of 120lbs.!
120 and not yet full grown--he's gonna be HUGE!
Your Primrose is a darling little gal...the name is also perfect...
Now those bassety pics with the little kitty have made my day completely happy...thanks...
Perhaps then the women felt the man was safe to approach.
Shouldn't there be a rule about posting pictures if pets are mentioned?
Well, as it so happens, I have a lovely example for you here . . . a very tiny person for a purebred Lab (42 pounds) but full of energy . . .
Obviously, I can't report on her efficacy as a chick magnet, but she is a real "people dog" and adores everybody, and they (mostly) adore her (some people object to being fawned on and kissed, can't imagine why).
Shelley's best friend is Tori the Black Lab, who competes with her in agility but is also a tremendous field dog and way ahead of Shelley there (working on her Finished Hunting Retriever and already has her MH).
I whisper in each of their ears that they are the most wonderful (insert color here) Lab in the world.
Your choc lab is adorable! : )
She's sitting here in "her" wing chair by the computer, looking at me reproachfully because I'm posting and not playing with Her Majesty . . .
I took my daughter college hunting instead of taking Princess Lab to the hunting retriever club training day . . . and left her all alone with the boys who do not treat her as she feels she deserves. Bad Mommy!
The Chocolate we had years ago was smaller also - but she got fat after her first and only litter (mated with a yellow and had all black), one puppy was too big, and she was unable to have any more.
We got her from a woman whose husband took off to Hawaii with another woman , we paid $25 for her but no papers. All the puppies and adults were all chocolate so we knew she wasn't a one off like some chocolates.
She loved getting into our Mallards pens and chasing, grabbing and then swimming in their tub with them in her mouth. She only killed one and then learned not to be so rough.
I still miss her, but now have a big dark reddish Golden girl to spoil.
Not any more - I caught him trying to claim my leg as a dependent.
In the bottom one, he seems to be managing his stress.
Thank you very much. They made me smile too.
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