I'd buy tickets to see you two there. ;-)
Quite frankly, being amongst the "churchiest" here, I'd say tell 'em thanks, but no thanks. Wife and I did a marriage retreat years ago, but it was nothing this formal, nothing this programmed. We wouldn't choose to go to something like this. We'd rather have a weekend to sit on the beach and stare at the waves. Does wonders for our relationship. ;-)
I really hate this type of programming. At our previous church we went through a "Growing Kids God's Way" class. [shudder] It was a series of videos. I gave up completely when the teacher said his daughter's had ~never~ lied to him. Please.
Most of the folks who run this type of thing mean well. Most of them also do not live in the real world.
But I digress.
You're right. This is a back-handed present to get you two back into the fold. And, IMHO, it's precisely this type of back-handed gift that has driven people ~away~ from church.
Now, here's where it gets tricksey.
I don't think you're obligated to used the certificate or to go to the conference. And I don't think you should go and pretend to the family that you enjoyed it or benefited from it.
BUT,
If you ~don't~, I DO think you're obligated to return the certificate and tell his family why.
If you don't, they're likely to get you another one.
Everything you've said is exactly right, and it's of great comfort that you understand, but we still have a big problem. :~D
HUGE :~D
I wouldn't go either, if there's a good way you can tell 'em that. Those things are scary, man. It's really mean of them to give you a present like that.
Corin: "Growing Kids God's Way", shudder. My dad nearly got shunned by our church for three months after that seminar. Of course, the people using it couldn't tell why their kids were turning into little automatons.... one woman followed their breastfeeding schedule and all her milk dried up...