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Locked on 03/05/2005 12:05:45 PM PST by Jim Robinson, reason:
Continued on new thread: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1356747/posts |
Posted on 01/27/2005 9:59:05 AM PST by ecurbh
New verse:
Upon the hearth the fire is red, |
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Still round the corner there may wait |
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Home is behind, the world ahead, |
*Takes a bow* Thank you, Thank you!
I hope you are interested in opening this up for conversation and not take it as an attack if I disagree... I mean, what do I know, I'm not a parent, right?
I think I understand you, but when it comes to kids that are here at my place, I do give instruction and sharp reprimand... where horses, dogs and other safety issues matter. There's a lot of instances here, and even at the beach house where adult rules have to be followed just as a safety issue, and it doesn't matter if you as the parent think it's important ;~D. An example I can think of was my friend Tiffney's son who was throwing baseball size rocks at Gidget, knowing she'd try to catch them in her teeth. I told him to stop, and he did it again. I grabbed him by the shirt and said "I SAID STOP. You are no longer allowed to play with my dog, and if you do, you will not be welcome to even BE here, understood?"
Some of the most valuable 'yellings at' I ever got were from people I respected who were not my parents. My horse trainer for one... and a few teachers. Your kids are going to have to please a lot of folk besides just you in life 2J... and face the consequences when then don't. Some of the kids that are hardest to be around are the ones who think what I say doesn't matter, who's parents will back that up by defending them when they've done wrong. As someone who intends to run a horse boarding facility and probably hosting many kids with horses, my rules will be the rules, and if a parent is trying to protect their child from my rules, I'll get them off the place. They're the kind that sue.
I'm just sayin' is all...
No, Rosie, at this point in your life, they're like your kids, because you take care of them and derive much pleasure in life from them. I know how hard it is to make the decision to put a pet down; it just plain sucks, but sometimes there really is no viable alternative. Another request for the prayer line, and not trivial at all!
;o)
That's cause I'm usually doing it late in the evening or early in the morning when I'm catching up on the thread. I'll respond to folks and they've already 'left the room' as you say. I don't mind!
Probably true...I hadn't thought of that. I had some clothes I was planning to ship, but had been planning to bring the pans. But now that I think about it...there are already dishes and pans out at the house, so it's not like I'll need them after I leave my house.
If I send stuff media rate, it'll be pretty cheap even if it IS books...but it's true, the books are more compact than a lot of stuff. Good thinkin'!
Yeah, you're on later than I am! Don't know how you do that.
I like being up late at night, it's quiet, no one is interrupting me for anything. It's my 'alone time'. I'm sure your Mom must have taken advantage of times like those.
No! I absolutely know this is just kinda me and my wierdness. Still, if my kid threw a rock at your dog and you told him to stop and he didn't...oh my lands, heaven help my kid! Where was Tiffany? What did she do?
Tiffney backed me up and told him to go wait in the car. She's a good parent, it's not that I didn't think she'd do her job... it's just that his wrong was against me, and I handled it.
And it makes a big difference how old the kids are, and what responsibility you've placed on the 'other adult'. Giving instruction and reprimand to teenagers who are being irresponsible in my barn is different than the kind of reprimand given a visiting kid who is six.
My mom made us all go to bed by 9 until I was 16 and said no, I couldn't do that any more. And then when I was going to college and working, I told her I was staying up working as late as I needed to. After that she'd yell at me to turn out the light when she went to bed, reasoning that if she were tired, so was I!
True. I agree with that.
Here's a situation that I have had come up with me personally...dealing with a child actually in my care. She kept running out into the parking lot after getting out of my car where ever we were! My kids know that a parking lot is just like a street and they wait right beside me until I can get the car locked up and such, but no matter what I would say to this kid, the minute I would open the car door, off she went to the door of where ever we were going! It was very unnerving to me and I finally "firmly" told her that she wasn't allowed to do that anymore.
I mean, I'm using to saying "STOP" and my kids stopping on a dime! It's the first command they learned in infancy and there were consequences even then of disobeying stop. But this kid would not stop!
I never considered spanking her though...and even when I had to speak firmly, I didn't raise my voice. I found eye contact to be her downfall...she couldn't look me in the eye! I'd make her. She'd go to look down and I'd say "No, I need you took at me...I mean this." I'd tap my nose to make her look!
It worked but it was a lot of work! I love the little kid, but I'm afraid she was gonna get herself killed!
Yelling depends on the reason. Heaven knows as a former scout leader I yelled at a lot of boys, for multiple reasons. Many of them safety issues.
Sometimes you have to raise your voice to get a point across. Sometimes that's all kids can understand.
I can't imagine a situation where I'd condone anyone other than family (and not all of them) spanking my kids.
Still, if public school teachers were still allowed to yell and to spank, there'd be a lot less Ritalin prescribed.
It's those kinds of circumstances where you need the authority to act to get her to stop. You have to be able to put the fear of 2J in a kid that is in your care. I've never actually spanked another kid, but I have had to physically grab or stop, push pull or drag a kid who wouldn't listen. I took a kid to the mall, I've had to deal with the kid that wants to run off, or worse, refuse to go forward in the middle of a mall. I had to drag the unwilling kid out of the mall, and I'd have been pretty perterbed if her parent had blamed me for being so "mean" when she reported back to mom. I've never had to face that, but I have seen kids who will try to threaten me with "I'll tell my mom you said that". Fine with me!
Imagine a child, such as many teachers have to deal with, that is told by a parent that ~no one~ may ever yell or lay a hand on them. You've taken away the only threat you can scare them into submission with!
My horse trainer had perfect discipline out of teenagers at her place, she scared the daylights out of me. She established who was in charge the very first day I was there with my horse, and I now wonder if the whole scare was staged, and how to go about staging such things at my place. I respected her, I was afraid to cross her, and a word of encouragement or praise from someone like that is worth a lot.
Heh!! See, that's what I tell the boys when I'm "speaking loudly and emphatically" at Steve or them. I'm usually not angry, but needing to get a point across quickly.
But I have known people, even in the church setting, to be gruff and angry with little children for very little reason...an inner hostility in my opinion that just comes out, like bullies. Makes me wonder why they are in the position they are in.
Steve and I are the only ones allowed to spank the jedis...Matthew's already grown out of it and there are other consequences that he rues more...he wishes for the days of the quick spanking! Joshua is almost too big.
I'll take all the help I can get!
So.....who wants Becky first? *evil laugh*
So, which family members have spanking priveleges? Can Jr spank Luke? Who has to spank Nana?
When we girls started baby-sitting siblings while our parents went out, we inherited spanking powers - not allowed to use implements, but if a brother needed a swat across the pants, we were permitted to deliver it.
More important... who spanks Corin? ;~D
Can she clean stalls?
I got swats in school.
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