Posted on 12/20/2004 6:41:03 AM PST by kerouacbal
I am 26 years old and have been married for 2 years. I am having trouble growing up and I am driving my wife nuts. It has gotten to the point that my wife talks about divorce almost every day. I want to work this out more then I every wanted anything but I can't seem to do it or do it quick enough. I can't seem to remember consistently to do every day things like take out the garbage make sure all the doors are locked and the heat is off at night (there is a lot more but won't get into it all). I am posting this here to try to get some advise on how to help my self grow up and start to take care of my wife and son better like a husband should. My parents are dead and I don't have a close family member or friend to get advise from. Could someone please help me.
For some people that is true. But I know many people who really just can't remember stuff like that. It's not ADD either. They are just not wired as a Martha who cares about details like that. In this case the wife might need to accept this side of her husband and just get beyond it.
Can not be said enough. Thank you!
Are you a man, or do you just live to do a woman's bidding? Are you the leader of your household, or just a meal ticket? Are you the kind of man that your wife would gain inspiration and encouragement from? Have you picked up a Bible lately? Is your wife really a WIFE or your second MOMMY? Be honest.
No woman will follow or love a wimpy little pussy of a man, which is what your post demonstrates. As a man, your job is to lead and inspire your family. If you can do that, then you don't deserve them. You don't become a leader by telling people to follow you. You become a leader by becoming the kind of man that people WANT to follow.
So, get your ass off the Internet and into your Church and Bible long enough to understand your responsibilities as a man, husband and leader. The Bible is also clear on what your wife should do. Make an agreement with her to live this way, and if you cant, get divorced, move to some liberal town and take your place among the girly-men.
I used to teach the MSF course. the biggest prob is attitude. if you think you're invincable, then you'll soon learn the truth. you'll be lucky if you last long anough to put that learning to use, on a bike the odds are against it.
bud of mine is a quad now - he hot-dogged it once too often. it isn't pretty, or macho to blow in a straw to get around.
"and now, she's found her real Mr. Right and is looking for a way out... and if she picks at all of his inadequacies, maybe she can convince herself, him and the world that its all his fault. "
WOW! This is close to home!
I know it is for me...
Yeah, any excuse will do.... as long as you don't have to accept the truth.
Free advice: Try going home tonight and not turning on your computer, your X-box or the TV. I bet you can't do it... loser.
One other thing that came to mind. You say you have no friends that you can talk to.
Does your wife allow you to have friends? Or, does she always find something wrong with people you assoicate with?
LOL...does she expect you to read minds? Did she ASK you to do this? What is the ROOT CAUSE? You do know how to do a ROOT CAUSE ANALYSIS?
Well, Mr. Kerouacbal, I'm not a person of great wisdom, but do have good people skills. I have been married for like a hundred years :o) and never even once considered divorce, and told my wife before we married that I would only divorce her if she made an attempt on my life or the childrens' lives.
If you want the marriage to work, and your wife doesn't, and wants out - let her go. But divorce, like suicide, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
If you can't function as a responsible adult at home, how do you do so at work?! Unless you have a menial job that requires only repetitive tasks, then you have the mental capacity to function in both locations. If you don't then you have an impairment that will restrict your progress for the rest of your life.
Why not go to dinner in a place where it would be awkward to talk loudly or make a scene. Have a cocktail, and tell her that you are not going to interrupt - no matter what she says. This will apply whether you disagree or not.
Ask her tell you everything you do (or don't do) that she dislikes. Then ask her to tell you everything she likes (or loves) about you, and if she wants the marriage to last. If she doesn't feel any affection/attraction/love/lust for you, then it's over anyway.
But if she does, do not argue/respond/become angry. Take her home. Take her to bed, and tell her this is your response and her only response should be to do whatever she enjoys.
Make long, slow, then passionate love to her, doing everything she likes, and all the best stuff you know to do from experience, books, movies and imagination until she has at least two orgasms. (I understand - from a very close companion- that it's hard to have negative feelings against someone who gives you multiple orgasms.) :o)
Get up early the next morning and make a chart of her "issues". Keep your chart and follow it daily until it becomes habit.
This is not too much to do to save a marriage.
Oh, and the part about about multiple orgasms. Do that a minimum of three times a week for as long as you physically can. (Then buy Viagra by the gross) :o)
Lotsa luck. (Now let's get back to the Hillary Clinton/Obama 2008 campaign!)
i catch you pulling a wheelie and there'll be an official complaint filed buster. people see you and think that all riders are so irresponsible. then they call their legislators. THEN laws get passed limiting MY freedoms. All because people like you think that stupidity (pulling wheelies IS stupid) is situational.
nobody notices mature riders, and that's the way to live long. maybe IF you live to get my age you'll realize how people like you mess it up for everybody else.
Well, Mr. Kerouacbal, I'm not a person of great wisdom, but do have good people skills. I have been married for like a hundred years :o) and never even once considered divorce, and told my wife before we married that I would only divorce her if she made an attempt on my life or the childrens' lives.
If you want the marriage to work, and your wife doesn't, and wants out - let her go. But divorce, like suicide, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
If you can't function as a responsible adult at home, how do you do so at work?! Unless you have a menial job that requires only repetitive tasks, then you have the mental capacity to function in both locations. If you don't then you have an impairment that will restrict your progress for the rest of your life.
Why not go to dinner in a place where it would be awkward to talk loudly or make a scene. Have a cocktail, and tell her that you are not going to interrupt - no matter what she says. This will apply whether you disagree or not.
Ask her tell you everything you do (or don't do) that she dislikes. Then ask her to tell you everything she likes (or loves) about you, and if she wants the marriage to last. If she doesn't feel any affection/attraction/love/lust for you, then it's over anyway.
But if she does, do not argue/respond/become angry. Take her home. Take her to bed, and tell her this is your response and her only response should be to do whatever she enjoys.
Make long, slow, then passionate love to her, doing everything she likes, and all the best stuff you know to do from experience, books, movies and imagination until she has at least two orgasms. (I understand - from a very close companion- that it's hard to have negative feelings against someone who gives you multiple orgasms.) :o)
Get up early the next morning and make a chart of her "issues". Keep your chart and follow it daily until it becomes habit.
This is not too much to do to save a marriage.
Oh, and the part about about multiple orgasms. Do that a minimum of three times a week for as long as you physically can. (Then buy Viagra by the gross) :o)
Lotsa luck. (Now let's get back to the Hillary Clinton/Obama 2008 campaign!)
It appears she is getting fed up with his selfish ways.
Courtesy and pulling his load will go a long way in a marriage.
In their marriage garbage seems to be the sticking point.
In ours, it was the toilet seat, but I broke him of that habit...and come January, it will be 33 years.
"Also your wife needs to be checked out for post-partum depression and possibly thyroid deficiencies....."
Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, she's just a bitch?
Well, Mr. Kerouacbal, I'm not a person of great wisdom, but do have good people skills. I have been married for like a hundred years :o) and never even once considered divorce, and told my wife before we married that I would only divorce her if she made an attempt on my life or the childrens' lives.
If you want the marriage to work, and your wife doesn't, and wants out - let her go. But divorce, like suicide, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
If you can't function as a responsible adult at home, how do you do so at work?! Unless you have a menial job that requires only repetitive tasks, then you have the mental capacity to function in both locations. If you don't then you have an impairment that will restrict your progress for the rest of your life.
Why not go to dinner in a place where it would be awkward to talk loudly or make a scene. Have a cocktail, and tell her that you are not going to interrupt - no matter what she says. This will apply whether you disagree or not.
Ask her tell you everything you do (or don't do) that she dislikes. Then ask her to tell you everything she likes (or loves) about you, and if she wants the marriage to last. If she doesn't feel any affection/attraction/love/lust for you, then it's over anyway.
But if she does, do not argue/respond/become angry. Take her home. Take her to bed, and tell her this is your response and her only response should be to do whatever she enjoys.
Make long, slow, then passionate love to her, doing everything she likes, and all the best stuff you know to do from experience, books, movies and imagination until she has at least two orgasms. (I understand - from a very close companion- that it's hard to have negative feelings against someone who gives you multiple orgasms.) :o)
Get up early the next morning and make a chart of her "issues". Keep your chart and follow it daily until it becomes habit.
This is not too much to do to save a marriage.
Oh, and the part about about multiple orgasms. Do that a minimum of three times a week for as long as you physically can. (Then buy Viagra by the gross) :o)
Lotsa luck. (Now let's get back to the Hillary Clinton/Obama 2008 campaign!)
Yes sems to me that he has mastered the art of BECOMING THE VICTIM!
Except there is no skipper to throw it. He did it himself knowing full well what would happen. Every time he posts it's a "woe is me" post about how pitiful and useless he is. He either gets sympathy or clubbed. There is no attempt to come up with solutions here just an unfettered call for attention either positive or negative. I bet this is the same kind of behavior that his wife gets frustrated with.
Glad to see you made it out alive. If she's willing to do it once, what's it to say she wouldn't do it again. Trust is the most important thing besides love in a marriage and when you throw out the trust, love won't be enough to salvage the marriage. In your ex's case the grass looked greener on the other side until she got there. Now it's to late. I hope you find someone who honestly cares about you and not just herself.
That's just not right dude.
Buy my book It answers all your questions
For Christmas, get her the book "proper care and feeding of Husbands" by Dr, Laura it might help alot.
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