Posted on 11/11/2004 8:18:03 AM PST by Dallas59
Old as the hills...
. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
going to look up there anyway?
8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't
he just buy dinner?
10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
13. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
14. Stop singing and read on.........
15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
18. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
19. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address in the first
place?
How come we Park in the driveway and DRIVE on the parkway
Points to ponder..........LOL
BUMP
What would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?
What do you add to instant water??
:)
Udder Pleasure
2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
DaWhite Yokeum
10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Anal?
12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
See DU.
Who was the first person to look at a lobster and think "I bet that would be really tasty with a little melted butter."
Why do drive-up ATMs have Braille on them?
And how sad is it that the one that made my laugh out loud was the quizzical one??
Why do they call it a "building" instead of a "built"? ;)
#3-Get a better freezer
"Why do they call it a "building" instead of a "built"? ;)"
Kewl! - one I haven't read a hundred times already. See, I really do learn something new every day.
If you hook up a battery to a horn with positive to positive and negative to negative, the horn blows.
If you hook it up backwards, does the horn suck?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.