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The cockroach is just the capper to a hideous day.

I had the most amazing array of calls today ... I'm still gobsmacked! Pardon me whilst I vent ---

One customer spelled the "f" bomb to me (I told him not to do that, as it was both offensive and it took too much brain power to cope with);
After I asked a customer his name, he whispered to someone in the room, "I got a dumba** on the phone." That call kinda went downhill after that ...
A customer with an <honored competition> brand MP3 player called the Lazy E for support after <honored competition> told him the device was not under warranty. I told him we didn't cover this device; it didn't have our name on it. He went ballistic, yelling how crappy the Lazy E was for not supporting what they sell. I suggested that if <honored competition> couldn't stand behind a device that <honored competition> put their name on, there wasn't a lot the Lazy E could do. He demanded information on his warranty: I told him that both the Lazy E and <honored competition> had told him all about the warranty, and asked him if he wanted to wait even longer for someone else to tell him the same thing a third time; or if he wanted me to transfer him to the Not-Lazy E-Stuff-Support line where, for a fee, someone might be able to get the MP3 player to work. Customer bawled, "I want someone to talk to me! Transfer me, girl, transfer me!" To which I responded, "Okay, boy, where do you want to go?"
I got up and took a break after that one.
I had a car dealer call me after buying a barcode scanner from <third party vendor>. He called the Lazy E to find out the format (symbology) that car makers use for the VIN bar codes ... 'cause, you know, we Lazy E folk have a special "in" with the car makers that car dealers don't ...
I had a woman call me complaining because the Optical Character Recognition program that she used to use on her old (Windows 98) computer isn't as good as the OCR that was bundled in with her Lazy E all-in-one. Of course, she paid maybe $200 for her old software, likely more than the new all-in-one cost ... but all she could do was snivel and cry as I told her, essentially, that you get what you pay for. That took an hour.
And then, to cap off the day, my mush-brained cube neighbor, who's 23 and already has a General Discharge from the Navy (he wouldn't take the anthrax vaccinations), and who thinks the sun rises and sets on Michael Moore and his ilk, and who thinks I don't fully understand what it is to be black, started ranting about the level of my voice!
Where is my medication?

[sigh] Rose... you are so worthy of your name.

I would have sent the electro-amperage shock to his/her keyboard way before you would have.

[ZOT] "There, hope you feel better now."

Uh... Ramius will be here with your Turkey in just a sec.

RAMIUS!!!! COME HERE!!!!

Hi Rose. I'm glad Bear took care of that cockroach.

Here.

You can enjoy that here.

And just shoot me if I ever sound like one of your customers.

LOL! I love your reports, Rose!

Where is my medication?

You need a 2 x 4! One that can reach through the phone and whack folks!

Where is my medication?

You DON'T need medication, you need firepower. Outside of CA, MA, and NYC, it would be considered justifiable homicide.