Replies

The teacher of a first grade class collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

Here are the results:

Better to be safe than . . . . . punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the . . . . . . bug is close.

It's always darkest before . . . . . . daylight savings time.

Never underestimate the power of . . . . . . termites.

You can lead a horse to water but . . . . . . how?

Don't bite the hand that . . . . . . looks dirty.

No news is . . . . . . impossible.

A miss is as good as a . . . . . . Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new . . . . . . math.

If you lie down with dogs, you'll . . . . . . stink in the morning.

Love all, trust . . . . . . me.

The pen is mightier than the . . . . . . pig.

An idle mind is . . . . . . the best way to relax.

Where there's smoke there's . . . . . . pollution.

Happy the bride who . . . . . . gets all the presents.

A penny saved is . . . . . . not much.

Two's company, three's . . . . . . the Musketeers.

Don't put off till tomorrow what . . . . . . you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and . . . . . . you have to
blow your nose.

None are so blind as . . . . . . Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not . . . . . . spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed . . . . . . get new batteries.

You get out of something what you . . . . . . see pictured on the box.

When the blind leadeth the blind . . . . . . get out of the way.

Better late than . . . . . . pregnant.

* * *

And, for Happy Hairstylist Day:

"Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like."

(I think I'm glad you skipped Happy Zipper Day yesterday.)

Ode To That Which Went Away Without Turning Gray

Mother Nature and DNA just would not hesitate
To expose to all my aggressively balding pate.
The back of my head must "bare" the brunt
As the hair loss races rapidly toward the front.

This loss of head fur did not happen overnight,
There was no sudden early morning mirror fright.
A barber alerted me back two decades or so
"Your hair in the back is starting to let go."

I wasn't concerned, for what was the use?
I always knew it would either turn gray or loose.
I've always hoped my hair would go gray,
But instead it has chosen to just go away.

Losing one's hair brings on odd, nightmare fears,
Dreaming of a "comb-over" starting at the ears.
Or going to the barber and having to pay the full rate
For a haircut of hair from a partially covered pate.

Oh, the night sweats from dreams of "toups" and wigs
Made of woven grass, moss, leaves, bark and twigs,
Or the ones constructed of brown-dyed artificial turf
And those of the toy store varieties of "toupee de Nerf."

There are those who have suggested I just defer
To the idea that I get some man-made head fur.
I won't be pressured to get a fluffy wig, oh nyet.
My head would merely resemble an XXL Chia Pet.

And I will not wear a ball cap to hide my "spot"
They're always uncomfortable, always too hot.
And accept this as a bald-faced fact, not fable,
I won't ever wear a hat to the dining room table.

As a cop, for my bald spot I found a surprising use,
When directing traffic that's running wild and loose.
When it gets sunburned, it glows a red so bright,
Uncovered, I can use it to stop traffic day and night.

There are worse things than being thin of hair.
There is much more in life that just isn't fair.
So, to whom it may concern in the human race,
I do not view my bald spot as a matter of disgrace.

I've made New Year's resolutions I've kept each date.
I successfully resolved to lose hair and gain weight.
And why all the concern about baldness out of my sight?
If the glare bothers you, don't stand behind me, all right?

-- Randy Tedford

Thank you for the laugh-ies and the giggl-ies

Good afternoon, OESY.

Thank you for that cute survey.

I'm sure happy that Jen skipped Happy Zipper Day. No telling how much trouble you and she could have gotten into!!

Have a wonderful evening.

OESY, you almost got me busted for "FReeping on Duty" with that funny list of proverbs by first graders. I truly was laughing out loud! :)

I'm bummed about not celebrating Zipper Day yesterday, but I got a late start in the morning and was too tired to do anything but sleep after I got home. I nominate you as my Backup Muse.