Posted on 04/05/2004 6:36:54 PM PDT by KneelBeforeZod
Everyone thinks Nirvana was the best thing to happen to pop music since Gerry & the Pacemakers.
Well, what about the part where they were responsible for Britney Spears and the return of teen-pop because they made everyone so miserable?
And who do you think is responsible for the Backstreet Boys, Bush, the Iraq war, gonorrhea, Avril Lavigne and everything else bad?
Looking back, Nirvana was just as useless as Adam and the Ants. So here's how Kurt and Co. ruined the world ...
... For Britney Spears: Before Nirvana, the battle lines were clearly drawn. The cool people liked the Pixies and Replacements, everyone else was a bunch of jerks. But after "Smells Like Teen Spirit" everything fell apart. Suddenly Terence Trent D'Arby fans were buying up copies of "Zen Arcade" and rock became pop -- fooling people into thinking that Hanson and Britney Spears were actually respectable. That or they just got tired of all the loud guitars and endless moaning.
... For Puddle of Mudd: About four hours after "Nevermind" came out, so did the clones. No one thought it could get any shoddier than Stone Temple Pilots, but then Bush arrived. Yet those thinking the worst was over were dead wrong -- there was still the wrath of the other bald tattooed men moaning about their miserable childhoods in bands like Staind, Puddle of Mudd and Creed. And what about the Vines? That's like if someone took Kurt Cobain's DNA sample, dropped it on the floor in some lint, and still made a clone anyway. Messed up.
... For Courtney Love: If Nirvana never got famous, then she wouldn't have married Kurt Cobain, he wouldn't have helped her write all the songs on Hole's breakthrough album, "Live Through This," and no one would have cared that she was such a desperate attention freak with a bad dye job and implants. But instead of fading into obscurity along with L7 and Bikini Kill, now we're forced to read about her antics every week in "Teen People."
... For Dave Grohl: He's the most boring rock star on the planet. Sure, he plays in every band from the Queens of the Stone Age to Probot, but imagine how wonderful the world would be without the dreary generic toss of the Foo Fighters. It's almost like that guy from the Lemonheads getting totally famous and making millions upon millions of dollars for sounding just like Blind Melon. It's just plain unfair. Plus he looks like Cojo.
... For flannel shirts: Here's a good idea -- let's all dress like lesbian trailer-park lumberjacks. Operating under the mistaken impression that rock stars should look poorer than their audiences, Nirvana dressed like hobos, inspiring everyone from Soul Asylum on down to follow suit. If the Spice Girls had never arrived, then our celebrities may have never gone back to a more respectable wardrobe of spandex and leather. Bless their hearts.
... For guitars: Before Nirvana arrived, everyone knew music after the year 2000 would totally be technological and rad -- just robots playing crazy drum 'n' bass with androids singing over it. People were totally sick of hearing lousy guitar rock by Eric Clapton and Tom Petty. But then Nirvana made guitars popular again, opening the gates for bands like the White Stripes and Nickelback to exist now. If it weren't for Bjork, we might as well all still be cavemen right now.
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
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Nirvana killed rock.
Most grunge to me sounds like a bunch of woe is me weak, feel sorry for myself, whiners with boring guitar sounds. Before grunge, most rock was about partying, sex, drugs, drinking, or rock and roll.
Sure, sincerity and emotions are great for poetry slams at Laundromats, but nobody wants to hear it when they're driving back from work at 5 p.m. on Friday. They want to crank "Unskinny Bop."
LOL. Exactly, although "Nothing but a good time" is better.
Xer Ping
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However, with all that said, I love Nirvana! Yeah .....i even like David Grohl and the Foo Fighters (and there is a song by the Queens of the Stone Age that i even like). In essence Nirvana and Nirvana-esque stuff (as long as it is directly related to them ....hence wannabe bands get tossed out).
Ay caramba!
Agreed. The reason they were so huge back then was because they were different, but with the passage of time, it's clear that the whole grunge movement was worse than what it replaced.
Bob Seger, is that you?
"Call me a relic call me what you will. Say I'm old fashioned say I'm over the hill. Today's music ain't got the same soul. I like that old time Rock and Roll"
Grunge didn't start with Nirvana any more than the Beatles were the first rock and roll band of the 1960s.
The suits at the labels, stations, and networks largely purged rock and roll of the rock and roll in the late 1950s (when Little Richard retired, Jerry Lee Lewis came home in shame, Elvis was drafted, Eddie Cochran, Buddy Holly, and others died early, Chuck Berry was brought up on the Mann Act, etc.). They were all replaced by pop poster boy crooners. Even genuine rock and rollers like Johnny Burnette were castrated by the executives.
Nirvana was the package used to sell the new sound to the masses just as Elvis and the Beatles had been the faces who took their respective sounds out of the underground.
There was a quick embracement of grunge by the square world but they only ever actually acknowleged a handful of bands (and genuine pioneers like Mudhoney never became household names or chart toppers).
The death of Kurt allowed the squares to supress rock and roll energy once again. They replaced it with pop stars. Pop music didn't begin with Britney. The 80s gave us Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, the Backstreet Boys, etc. The 70s had it's own pop pap.
Meanwhile rock and roll continues on.
It took 20+ years for the Ramones to get any accolades from the mainstream. So it goes.
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