Dating game becoming more like a chore

Winston-Salem Journal ^ | Thursday, January 8, 2004 | Kate Zernike

[ItsOurTimeNow]

I'm not from Indiana, my wife is. She's from Richmond.

[tjg]

My intention wasn't to offend you or anybody that uses the service. I apologize for doing so. I was just writing some random thoughts on the subject.

You are correct that I am totally ignorant of the current state of dating in the US. I do know that meeting "living breathing women" can be a problem for single guys even if you are surrounded by them. I studied engineering at Ohio State in the '80's. It was almost exclusively men in my classes; a core group of guys surrounded by a sea of women, yet meeting them was always a problem.

So I wasn't criticizing your approach. I was speculating that a dating service is no more effective than any of the other methods that don't work very well either.

It's a difficult endeavor, but one that I'm sure will yeild success for you if you keep at it. Good Luck.

[angcat]

You go! I hope you get that TV in time! :)

[half_nelson]

Good point, it could make things a little awkward!!

[warchild9]

My daddy taught me that every lady was a "ma'am", and a few were even "madams".

[Mark17]

What country is that???

The Philippines. I can live like a king there, with my 2 retirements, and my woman.

[pctech]

Ahhhh, I thought as much. I dunno about living there anymore, the Phillipines and Guam are definitely turning anti-american. Might want to rethink that.

[XBob]

173 - thanks for posting this:

Here's an old thread worth reviving:
Why White Men Prefer Asian Women
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/555526/posts

[cyborg]

That thread is loooooong BUT I remember those talk shows from the eighties. Hilarious seeing men with pretty foreign wives then some Walmart shopper in Lane Bryant yell and scream what's wrong with American women LOL

[XBob]

240 - "Wonder what the Russian men are like?"

My experience with Russian Men is limited but may be of interest to you. Back in the 80's, before the Soviet fall, Reagan was pressuring the USSR and the let many Jews leave. My engineering and construction company hired about half a dozen I worked with, and I became aquainted rather well with two.

Now you must remember that they are religious people and engineers - two major personality determinants.

But they were all uniformly pleasant, intelligent, competent, hard working, sober, quiet men (in their 30's-40's) - they fit into our company quite well, and I have nothing bad at all to report. They were just like our engineers - quiet, competent, professionals - in other words - 'boring' to all those women who want the 'bad boys'. Most all were also married, and had come to this country with their families, worked hard and did a good job of supporting them. In short, they would be good FReeper men.

[Mark17]

I was just there 3 months ago, and I never had any problems at all. I think much of this so called anti Americanism is a media invention. I was treated like royalty. I was in Mindanao, supposedly the most dangerous place on earth. Another media invention. Detroit, Chicago, LA and New York are far more dangerous.

[XBob]

349 - "That thread is loooooong BUT I remember those talk shows from the eighties. Hilarious seeing men with pretty foreign wives then some Walmart shopper in Lane Bryant yell and scream what's wrong with American women LOL"

===
That reminds me of an interesting experience I had, when stationed in Taipei, Taiwan as a young, single, junior officer. Not long after I got there, I was in the Officers Club after work, and having a drink at the bar, talking with a friend, and the club was full. We noticed a very large table, with a number of American girls, school teachers. They normally sat alone and together at a smaller table. Well, this time, the only place for them was at this large round table (12+ seats). So these 4-5 girls sat there.

I, newly arrived, said 'Let's go talk to the girls.' And he so no, they are American girls, teachers. Well, I talked him into it, so we went over and sat down with the girls, after getting gentlemanly permission. And they pretty much ignored us, talking among themselves. So I got a few more guys to come join us. And we talked together, trying to bring the girls into a conversation. It was rather strange - all the women and men, at the same table, talking only to each other, and wanting to talk to the other sex, but the girls remained 'stand offish'.

So, after about 10 minutes or so, a rather loud comment came from the girls section, addressed to another girl, "I don't know why the guys want Chinese girls, when they could have a good American girl, like me (perhaps it was us).' With that my friend, got up, addressed her, and said loudly 'That's exactly why.' and went back to the bar. Soon, all the guys had left and the girls were sitting alone at the giant table.

I got a Chinese girl friend and never tried to talk to the Americn girl teachers again, and as I noticed, so did all the other single junior officers. For my whole tour, the girls continued to sit alone, in the midst of many eligible guys, while we got Chinese girl friends and had a ball, one of the best tours in the Air Force I ever had. Many guys marrying the Chinese girls.

[cyborg]

when they could have a good American girl, like me

*** Some women are legends in their own minds, till they either look in the mirror or someone tape records their 'lovely deportment'. I just love the way strangers feel they can insert themselves into other people's business. Your buddy was too kind IMHO hahahaha

[cyborg]

Anti-americanism as portrayed in the media is complete BS. They go looking for it. When I was in France, I didn't see a speck of anti-americanism which makes me wonder if all the talk of it wass trumped up crapola.

[XBob]

The Philippined and Philippino people are great, very nice, both men and women. But you must 'sing' - literally, and married to a Philippino, I am sure you know what I mean.

I found the following:

===

I spent a long time overseas in various countries as a single man. And learned a lot about women of various nationalities/cultures. And learned a few things about men/women and also about American men/women vs others.

1. Unlike what American women think, men and women are not Equal, they are complimentary - yin and yang - two asymetical parts of a complete circle. Generally, American women think they are 'equal', and compete with men (bisecting the circle), while foreign women adapt to the non-symetry of men and enfold his foibles. This is particularly true of East Asian women. They don't want to be men. They know better. And they also know, as women, they have certain other responsibilities than men. And the way it works (a secret I never did learn) works particularly on children. I rarely saw screaming sqwaling brats, in private or public.

2. American men, are particularly appreciated by foreign women, because (money or no money) they treat their women better.

3. Perhaps most important of all, women (of all nationalities) are the bosses, due to the weakness of men, located between their legs. The major difference is that Eastern Women make the man 'think' he is the boss. And this makes the man happy, who, happily works his butt off to please and take care of his woman and his family. Sort of like the good dog, who will fight the bear to his own death to protect his master.

3. The key to the mutually good arrangement, is to never let the man find out the truth, that he is not 'the boss'. American women, often quickly, and in no uncertain terms, let the men know who is boss. And thus, men withdraw, and divorce from this forced 'servitude', called marriage, just to propagate their children. Marriages to Eastern Women often quickly fail, when they are brought to the US, and the women become 'Americanized' by the American women/society, and let the man know who is boss.

4. And women have another particular problem. They are, for some strange reason, initially attracted to 'bad boys', who treat them badly and who are very irresponsible. This is particularly true of the younger ones, before they have resposibilities and children. Thus, the old division men had about women - those you have sex with and those you marry. By being attracted to the 'bad boys', women often disregard/discard the very men they really should have in the long run. And now that all women have become those that you have sex with (equals), men can't tell the difference between the two types/stages; and women keep waiting for that 'perfect' 'white knight' who they discarded earlier. The very ones who now have little respect for women, good or bad.

5. I never could figure out why American women wanted to be 'equal' to men, and come DOWN to our level. It seems like a lose/lose situation, for individuals and for society.

[cyborg]

SPOT ON XBOB!!!!!

My mother's American friends used to faint when they heard my mom used to give my dad pedicures, clean his fingernails and cook him dinner. When my mom used to say she wouldn't be able to go out with friends, they'd tell her 'oh go home to your white slavemaster and shave his beard'. The sexual revolution taught women nothing really IMHO.

[XBob]

356 - Thankyou. That quick digest took me a long time to learn and figure out.

"The sexual revolution taught women nothing really IMHO."

How true.

Pedicures are not necessary - but put succinctly, the thing that American women have forgotten is how to "Make a man, FEEL like a man". When they do that, they will find that American men love to make them "Feel like a woman'.

We are fighters/runners - and pretty good at it. So when we start getting emasculated, first we fight, then we run.

Sadly, American women are reaping their rewards.

And now, stupidly, they are getting 'equally' shot and blown up in Iraq, and bringing down the men with them - like our pretty little blond missy who had to be rescued at great risk of life/limb.

[XBob]

And no body is raising our kids.

[cyborg]

Men need to feel like their king of the castle, protecting their family and providing for their brood. To me takimg away any one of those, makes a man feel less than a man.

[cyborg]

you got that right