[RosieCotton]

We're gonna play music - not just family, but a big group.

The subject probably won't even come up. It's a bit hard, 'cause I'd like to bring it up, but there's no real way to do it without dragging things down.

I can talk about her more now than I could a year ago, for sure. Still miss her an awful lot, though. The boys have each other and Dad, though of course that isn't quite the same as having Mom there, too. But she was more to me than she was to the boys in a lot of ways, I think. Just the way it is, being a daughter - and the oldest to boot.

But this group has helped a lot, honestly. And it WILL get easier. But special days are still hard.

[ItsOurTimeNow]

We're here for you, Rosie!

[JenB]

Of course it's tough! I don't want to think what it would be like, losing a parent. My mom and I don't always understand each other, but I'm glad she's part of my life. Your mom made you who you are in a lot of ways, and you love her, so it's right that you miss her. But I'll bet she'd rather you went and played music than sat around and were miserable.

[HairOfTheDog]

The subject probably won't even come up. It's a bit hard, 'cause I'd like to bring it up, but there's no real way to do it without dragging things down.

I spent a couple years in my own thoughts without talking much about Mom either when I thought it would just change the mood. I might sulk or go cry alone, but I didn't know if anyone else did. Dad actually mentioned it to me once, when he and I were in a rare moment, that he wondered why we never talked about ~it~. It opened the door and now we do. People are too shy and maybe feel to inarticulate to bring up bad things and so it remains the elephant in the room everyone walks around without acknowledging. I would guess they are thinking about it too, more than you think, and feel the same reluctance you do. Personally, I think it is not such a bad thing to bring her up, if it sombers the mood, that's OK... That is not always a bad thing.

The guys are prolly thinking about it too. But don't know what to say about their thoughts either.

In time and ~with practice~ including her in conversation, you can all talk better about her more often. For me now, Mom (and my grandparents) are beloved conversation... "Remember when this happened", or "Mom always did that" or "This part of this movie reminds me of Mom". There isn't a pregnant silence now when she comes up... but smiles, wistful ones, or sighs, but the best kind.... The kind when you remember to remember.

[Wneighbor]

And it WILL get easier. But special days are still hard.

(((((((((ROSIE)))))))))

[SuziQ]

I'm keeping you in my prayers, Rosie. What you and your Mom had was special, and I agree it's harder for you than it probably is for your brothers or maybe even your younger sisters because she had begun to look on you as an adult and friend and not just a daughter. Hang in there and know we're here for you.