The Hobbit Hole V - Where Many Paths and Errands Meet...

ecurbh

[ecurbh]

Welcome to The Hobbit Hole!

Where Many Paths and Errands Meet...

• First thread: New Zealander builds Hobbit hole
• Second thread: The New Hobbit Hole
• Third thread: The Hobbit Hole III - Journey to the Cross-roads! (Congratulations, we filled it up!)
• Fourth Thread: The Hobbit Hole IV - The Road Goes Ever On...

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

[SuziQ]

I'm at such a distance from the family, that I didn't really have much responsibility in the day to day care when Mama was still living at home. I just sent a check each month to my oldest brother who was handling all Mama's finances, and once, I went down and stayed with her for a week so her caregiver could go on vacation. The burden was ALL on my older and just younger sister who lived in the next town over from her. It was very hard on them dealing with her changing needs, and she was in relatively good health! We were blessed in that we had a woman about my older sister's age who was at loose ends in her life because her husband of 25 yrs. had divorced her, and she needed a job and a place to live, to be a caregiver. Mary lived with Mama for 4 yrs, and it wasn't until Mama developed pneumonia and spent a week in the hospital that we had to consider long term care for her. Since she has Alzheimers, there were not that many places that would take her, but we found one just before she was released from the hospital and that's where she is now.

Something you might think about is visiting help that could come for a few hours during the day while y'all are working. It would be someone new for Nana to have to interact with, and that person could be responsible for bathing her, etc. We discovered that someone NOT related to the person can often deal much better with them sometimes. Mama never was ugly to Mary (the caregiver) like she was to my sisters!

In the meantime, I'll keep you and the missus (and Nana) in my prayers. I know it's tough for all of you.

[Bear_in_RoseBear]

The heavy hitters came back! Takes a lot more chatting to keep up with them!

[Corin Stormhands]

Thanks, it helps to whine about it. Then you go and do what you gotta do.

[Corin Stormhands]

I wonder if that was hurricane week? (on the last thread)

[HairOfTheDog]

I think it is funny that four people on the thread talked more than the whole household of "Entmoot" last week!

[ItsOurTimeNow]

No kidding! I'm gone for a day, and I've got 700 posts to go through just to catch up!

I need Hobbit Hole Cliff Notes!

[Corin Stormhands]

I just sent a check each month...

Heh...we know that ain't happenin' with this family. We will get some help from two of the sisters. Mostly in terms of helping with care. But the younger sister who lives here in Richmond has three kids, 6 and under. So she's got her hands full. Her husband is the b-i-l who has been helping with all of the projects. He will continue to do so.

The older sister who came today will come and help as much as she can. She and her husband bore the heaviest part of the burden when my f-i-l was sick and for the last year.

The other sister and brother are ~and there's no better way to say this~ white trash. We expect nothing from them. And will probably get even less than that.

We will be able to get home health care in after the surgery. Medicare will pay for that. We simply can't afford private care. She doesn't have the money and neither do we.

Wife has been in touch with the local Aging services. They are going to sit down with her and discuss all the options.

[2Jedismom]

Sorry, I don't believe in extra-marital foot soaking.

Yep....soakin' corns in soapy water, drinkin' tea and talkin' about the elderly and their care...pretty torrid stuff. Better steer way clear of it!

;~D

Well, I'm back!

[Bear_in_RoseBear]

The one I found was the first week of the thread. I didn't look to see if there were any others.

[Bear_in_RoseBear]

You all had to share a single computer at Entmoot, and that slowed things down I'm sure.

Serial posting is a lot slower than posting in parallel.

[Corin Stormhands]

She's already suspicious of my shoes.

[Corin Stormhands]

Makes sense. Implosion on the previous thread happened while we were on vacation.

[2Jedismom]

Got it! Wow that was fast!

Do you have some instructions that I should print up and put in with the knife? Along with the letter I already wrote?

[2Jedismom]

It has the regular instructions, I know...but do you have any thing extra?

[SuziQ]

Mama never wanted to go in a home, but by the time we we had to put her there, she didn't know that 'home' was home anyway. They fuss over her, and she's content, so that's all we wanted. She's close to her hometown, so her sister and brothers can come out to see her if they can. My oldest brother lives about 5 miles away so goes by a couple of times a week, and is always available in case of an emergency. My oldest sister goes up once a week from the coast on the 'Mother Run'; my b-i-l visits HIS mother at her home on those days, as well. Brenda will sometimes take Mama to visit her family members who can't come to see her.

When we were going throught the angst of deciding when to put her in the home, my younger sister was talking to her grown son about it. He said "Watch out Mom, if you get too annoying I'll have to put YOU in a home. Her reply was "You think that's a THREAT? I get to have three meals prepared for me and I don't have to do any work at all? Bring it on!"

[SuziQ]

The other sister and brother are ~and there's no better way to say this~ white trash. We expect nothing from them. And will probably get even less than that.

Heh, been there done that with two of our sibs. They are also the ones who owe Mama money; money that would have made her time at home much more comfortable, and possibly could have let her stay at home a little longer. Not surprising, huh?

Do take advantage of the Aging Services. They may have a volunteer program; other elderly who are interested in coming by to just visit and spend time. The ladies who came to see Mama were very nice, but she was still in her 'pi$$ed at us' stage, so she wasn't in the mental frame of mind to enjoy them. This was a result of the Alzheimers because she had always loved company.

[Professional Engineer]

[2Jedismom]

I got all my laundry caught up! Not a single dirty thing in the house, for two days in a row, except what's on our backs.

Sunny days make all the difference!

[Overtaxed]

*Sniff* Ann Miller...Dead!

[2Jedismom]

Oh that's a shame! I always thought she was pretty.