The NFL in Paris Is a Fat Man in a Tutu

Emotional Support Chimera ^ | 21 October 2026 | Stephen Green

[Rummyfan]

It just doesn’t fit....

The list of reasons for football fans of a certain age to intensely dislike the National Football League in 2026 is a long one. I miss when defenses were allowed to tackle quarterbacks, for example. Google it, young fans. I swear it was legal! We’re not far from the day when linebackers will need to get the QB to sign a consent form before a pass can be disrupted in any way.

I kid, but I don’t.

I’ve had a theory for years that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is a plant by Big Soccer, sent to destroy actual American football from within. Goodell might not even be human. He’s probably some sci-fi freak, spawned and raised in a lab in some soccer-crazed place like Rio de Janeiro or any of the Eurotrash capitals where grown men touch themselves at every utterance of the word “nil.”

Secretly being football’s Dr. Jack Kevorkian is the only plausible explanation I can think of for Goodell’s insistence that regular-season NFL games be played hither and yon about the globe. I’ve traveled around the world, so I know for a fact that most of yon sucks.

Goodorkian (SWIDY?) and his minions say that they want the NFL to become a global phenomenon. Not only do I think that we will never win over the hearts and minds of soccer fans, but I don’t really want to share football with them. Variety in sports is a wonderful thing. Goodell’s NFL is jonesing for hegemony. College football is becoming more like the NFL every day, which is something that no college football fan anywhere ever asked for.

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TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Politics; Society; Sports
KEYWORDS: emmanuelmacron; france; jeanlucmelenchon; marinelepen; pjcomix

[Rummyfan]

Parisians are not going to be chanting Vive le futbol Americain!

[Dr. Sivana]

College football is becoming more like the NFL every day, which is something that no college football fan anywhere ever asked for.

No, but nearly all the good players like the NIL money. The schools piled in the money, and that tends to corrupt things.

[Trumpet 1]

Today’s football players are a lot larger than the NFL of Super Bowl 3. The NY Jets had an offensive line that averaged 250 lbs. Today’s NFL has to protect the quarterbacks or else there would not be any QBs left to play. If all of the QBs were in the hospital then who would you get to play?! We are talking about super soldiers on the gridiron. QB is a serious skill.

[chajin]

It makes sense to have NFL games in places where there is a large US military presence, such as Tokyo, Berlin, or Seoul, a kind of 21st century USO show, with the locals who are interested in our football getting a chance to enjoy it.

Other places make no sense, except from a boneheaded DEI perspective. It is like having the Rays and Brewers (or on the far end from excellence, the Marlins and Angels) play a series next year in New Delhi or Mumbai, to try to convince the locals to eschew cricket and embrace baseball.

[ridesthemiles]

IF ANY NFL PLAYER GETS HURT BY OUTSIDE FORCES THIS WEEKEND IN PARIS, I HOPE THEY SUE GOODELL OUT OF EXISTENCE

[Rummyfan]

I know for a fact - having attended one- the games in London are very popular. Very well attended and not just ex-pats and service people. France? Doubtful….

[volare737]

I think of you are behind by 10 points more at the end of 3 quarters, in France,,,,,,

you can just surrender and not play the 4th quarter.

[wardamneagle]

All I have to say is …. WHO DAT !