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Mayor Won't Allow Private Grocery Stores To Close [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 16 November 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 11/18/2025 9:42:56 AM PST by John Semmens

Seattle's Mayor-elect Katie Wilson declared that "access to affordable, healthy food is a basic right. We cannot allow giant grocery chains to stomp all over our communities and close stores that will leave behind food deserts. Together, we can build a Seattle where fresh food is for everyone, not just for those who can afford it. Food deserts are not natural, supermarkets create them when they abandon our communities. We need to require these food vendors to give 90 days advance notice for mass layoffs and fair severance pay for laid off workers."

"If too many privately owned food vendors close we will have to provide a publicly-owned alternative," she added. "To help ensure that folks who can't afford to live here get the government aid they need to live here I will appoint members to my cabinet who are Black, Indigenous, Hispanic, Latinx, LGBTQ, and Asian. In other words, people who are committed to diversity equity and inclusion. We will remain a sanctuary city where the tired, poor, and work-averse foreigners can live without the fear or stress of having to support themselves."

Warned that her proposed policies might inspire an exodus of profit-making businesses and self-supporting taxpayers, Wilson expressed confidence that "the citizens who elected me will support the woke agenda I am prepared to carry out. Otherwise, they would've voted for my opponent."


TOPICS: Food; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: democrat; satire; seattle; socialism
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To: John Semmens

ha ha

what an idiot mayor

what gonna do, drive the food trucks into the otherwise-boarded up store fronts and personally hand out the free goodies to every taker in town?


21 posted on 11/18/2025 11:33:20 AM PST by faithhopecharity ("Politicians aren't born, they're excreted." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: John Semmens

It’s not a God given right.

God says we must work or we won’t eat.


22 posted on 11/18/2025 11:57:48 AM PST by fella ("As it was before Noah so shall it be again," )
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To: Red Badger

I don’t think that they ever finished the book.


23 posted on 11/18/2025 12:33:57 PM PST by jmcenanly (You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.” ― Winston)
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To: Blueflag

She’s like most Socialists and Democrats for that matter ... visions of grandeur with nothing to back it up.


24 posted on 11/18/2025 12:50:51 PM PST by antidemoncrat
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To: John Semmens

The good part about these commie mayors is that they will have to put up or shut up. When the pipe dream fail to materialize, all they will have left is the is the legacy media trying to convince those who put them in power that they did succeed when it is obvious they didn’t, or they didn’t really promise the things they did, or that it is all Trump/Republicans fault. I can’t wait to see it.


25 posted on 11/18/2025 7:37:18 PM PST by beef (The pendulum will not swing back. It will snap back. Hard.)
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