Report: MAGA Now Divided Into 77,302,580 Distinct Factions

Babylon Bee ^ | 11/17/2025 | Babylon Bee

[DFG]

U.S. — New polling data suggests the MAGA movement has split into approximately 77,302,580 distinct factions.

Factions include, but are not limited to, Traditional Conservatism, Groypers, Anti-Zionist But Jew-Affirming, Carlsonites, Candacites, Kirkites, Trad wife influencers, The South Shall Rise Again, The North Shall Stay Arisen, Catholic, Latin Mass Catholic, Protestant, Protestant Calvinist Theonomist with Beards, Boomer Neocon Warmonger, Libertarian, and Whig.

"I have never seen a more fractured movement," commented political science major Daniel Siltson. "There is always a broad spectrum of variance within a political movement, but to have it split along such hard lines so as to be almost separate political parties is uncanny."

According to sources, Republican Party membership has declined as a result of the fractured base, because newcomers to conservatism have no idea what the Right even is anymore. "I don't know what party to choose," said one voter. "The Democrats are gay, but I guess some Republicans like Hitler now? What is even going on?"

Meanwhile, the Green Party has failed to take advantage of the split, itself reporting a drop in membership because they are the Green Party.

"The Republican base has never been more fractured," warned podcast host and conservative commentator Matt Walsh. "We must stop this infighting and unite the right, and all who disagree with me should die."

At publishing time, Daily Wire host Ben Shapiro laid out ten proposed steps to save MAGA, but was booed for being Jewish.

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TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:

[Texas Eagle]

Heh, heh. I wonder if FReepers is on the list.

[Texas Eagle]

Which is still fewer than Christian denominations.

[budj]

Hey, there's three of 'em in mine!

[Jim W N]

Good. Decentralized governance is the best governance.

More freedom, less gov’t.

[House Atreides]

“ Heh, heh. I wonder if FReepers is on the list.”
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Ahhh… which faction?

[Jamestown1630]

LOL! Freepers are not homogenous in any way.

[mitchjackson1972]

Go on X and you will see this is not wrong

[jimwatx]

While there are different factions within the Republican party the real issue comes down to Israel. Half of Republicans are very pro Israel and believe we should have this ‘special relationship’ with them while the other half sees Israel as just another country not deserving of any special treatment. And the pro Israel half is calling the other half antisemitic for not agreeing to this special treatment for Israel. This is a very real divide that isn’t going away. And the group that doesn’t believe Israel is anything special (and might even have negative views of Israel) is growing by the day.

The future of Zionism in the US doesn’t look good which is why Israel is now asking for a 20 year financing deal because they can read the writing on the wall. Basically the younger generation in particular isn’t fond of Israel.

[dfwgator]

The Jewish Diaspora has always been divided on Israel and Zionism, even going back to pre-war Europe.

The Jewish Socialist Labor Bund despised Zionists, they felt Jews should stay where they are and “fight for a better world”, than to “flee to Jerusalem.”

Yiddish song from 1931 “Oh, You Stupid Zionists”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4C0E4qxm-7I

[ProgressingAmerica]

Splintering increased dramatically when Rush died.

I really miss him. It just hasn’t been the same without the golden EIB on the air.

[jimwatx]

“The Jewish Diaspora has always been divided on Israel and Zionism, even going back to pre-war Europe.”
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Oh I definitely realize that. My best friend’s mother in law was a Holocaust survivor from the Theresienstadt Ghetto. She absolutely hated the Zionists who came to the camp because the Zionists made a deal with Hitler (the Haavara Agreement) where only the Jews who agreed to go to Palestine could take some of their wealth with them but those holding out for relocation elsewhere would receive nothing. She said there were violent fist fights between the 2 sides over this. She carried this resentment forward until her dying day.

She also had many interesting things to say about her time during that period. Theresienstadt itself was never alleged to be a death camp so her experience there was most likely different than what occurred at the other camps.

[dfwgator]

Theresienstadt itself was never alleged to be a death camp so her experience there was most likely different than what occurred at the other camps.

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I’m sure you are familiar with the film they made there, it was called something like “Hitler Gives A City To The Jews”, where Theresienstadt was portrayed as a model city for Jewish War Veterans. Of course most of the people appearing in the film were quickly shipped off to Auschwitz. The saddest being the children who appeared in the play “Brundibar”.

[cowboyusa]

War And Rememberence portrays it well. Had a huge crush on Jane Seymour by the way.

[dfwgator]

War And Rememberence portrays it well. Had a huge crush on Jane Seymour by the way.

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Still the most devastating portrayal of The Holocaust, even though it was made for TV. The scene with the little girl with the flower, I will never forget as long as I live.

[jimwatx]

No I’ve never heard of that film but it sounds interesting so I will check it out. Thanks for the tip.

[jimwatx]

“Had a huge crush on Jane Seymour by the way.”
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LOL so did I. She was super hott.

[Salamander]

They omitted the Appalachian Separatist Party.

I’m triggered

😬

[Capn Hayek]

Heh.

At least I now have a faction that agrees with me - on *everything*!

[Reverend Wright]

There are 77 million separate factions just in the Episcopal Church.