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Shocking: Philly Sports Fan Acts Like Philly Sports Fan
Babylon Bee ^ | 09/06/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 09/06/2025 1:14:50 PM PDT by DFG

PHILADELPHIA, PA — The nation is in shock today after a widely-circulated video showing a Philly sports fan acting like a Philly sports fan.

The video shows a woman dressed in Phillies gear demanding a kid turn over the home run ball that his dad had just scored him on his birthday, which is the sort of horrific behavior expected of all Philly sports fans.

"Stealing a kid's home run ball on his birthday, that's pretty standard," said Philly sports fan Mark Madison. "I don't really understand why everyone is acting so surprised and appalled. This is Philly we're talking about, people. Taking memories from kids is just what we do."

Pundits familiar with the Philly sports scene agreed with the assessment by locals. "That video was the worst of humanity, just ugly, evil, and sad... pretty much exactly what you would expect from Philly," said Sports Illustrated writer Jack Hamilton. "I was surprised she didn't rip the kid's glove off and take that too, to be frank. Philly's going soft."

At publishing time, the Phillies had announced "Steal a Kid's Ball Night," where all kids would be given a ball and then grownups could try to steal them to make the kids cry.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire
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To: vladimir998

Good investigative reporting :)


21 posted on 09/06/2025 1:53:50 PM PDT by Beowulf9
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To: DFG

She looked like your typical pro abortion, white, commie pro hamas, well, commie..heck I thought it was Elizabeth Warren, now we know what she does during her off time when she’s not schilling for big pharma


22 posted on 09/06/2025 2:22:33 PM PDT by Sarah Barracuda
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To: Beowulf9

ohhhhhhhhhhh so I was right, your typical white commie lunatic


23 posted on 09/06/2025 2:23:09 PM PDT by Sarah Barracuda
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To: Sarah Barracuda

No. Evidently I was misled. It was revealed to me by Wilderness Conservative. See post 13.

https://x.com/DNELS2442/status/1964409186181115988


24 posted on 09/06/2025 2:41:01 PM PDT by Beowulf9
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To: DFG

No one likes us, we don’t care.


25 posted on 09/06/2025 3:16:02 PM PDT by cowboyusa ( YESHUA IS KING OF AMERICA AND HE WILL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE HIM!)
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To: Beowulf9

Does it say anywhere that she’s a lesbo or tranny. To me, it looks like that was one of her “issues”.


26 posted on 09/06/2025 4:19:03 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Is this damn country so hard up for Judges that we have to hire Sparkle Sookananan from Trinidad?)
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