Posted on 07/10/2025 8:11:08 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
The HORROR! The absolute HORROR of Alligator Alcatraz!!! The detainees there are being assaulted by mosquitos THE SIZE OF ELEPHANTS! How do we know? Because a Cuban rapper detainee told us so via his cell phone from inside Alligator Alcatraz. On that same cell phone call he also informed the world that the detainees are suffering from freezing tents due to being tortured by air conditioning. Yes, rather than allowing the prisoners bask in the natural hot tropical humid temperatures, they are being forced to endure unnatural freezing air conditioning.
I must admit that I was skeptical of claims of a detainee who is obviously trying to garner public sympathy leading to his release from Alligator Alcatraz. However, his claim of mosquitos THE SIZE OF ELEPHANTS sold me on the veracity of his claims. That and the FREEZING TENTS.
It’s hard to say who has the biggest mosquitos: Florida, Texas, or Alaska.
I asked an Alaskan fish and game guy why the heck they didn’t spray for mosquitos. He replied that they helped control the caribou herds by sucking the newborns dry. True story.
Surely an exaggeration. The biggest mosquitoes in the world are in northern Canada and they are nowhere near the size of elephants. They can, however, stand flat-footed and look a turkey straight in the eyes.
Gross. Never heard that before.
You win.
How do we know you’re not from Florida?
It’s so hot here I saw a tourist burst into flames just walking down the beach.
The mosquitoes are determining food quality and establishing a menu for the alligators...
Because NO ONE in Florida is attacked by mosquitos.
I recall visiting Florida for a job interview.
Seeing all the swimming pools enclosed by huge screens tipped me off that it was to mosquito prone for us.
I really hate the damn things, but they love my blood.
Biggest mosquitos I've ever seen were in South Carolina. Parris Island. I saw (and felt) them when my nephew graduated from USMC boot camp in 2017.
Spent from ‘62 to ‘69 in Saddle River (Nixon’s retirement town (One friend had a place in Vermont and used to shoot stumps with dynamite. Another friend grabbed an empty crate and drove past Nixon’s house with it in the back of his truck. Secret Service caught on pretty quick)) Hated the humidity so I headed to Colorado after high school.
Yeah Saddle River is nice.
And humidity is awful. Just awful.
Lived with it all my life. After about 3 days of it and 90 degree temps you’ll really have the mad on.
LOL You're right on this...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.