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Democrats Discover Innovative Strategy Of Promising Free Stuff To Stupid People
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/26/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/26/2025 11:56:19 AM PDT by DFG

NEW YORK, NY — Democratic Party strategists were thrilled this week after they stumbled upon an innovative new strategy of winning elections by promising free stuff to stupid people.

According to Democratic mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani, the bold new strategy of showing idiots with promises of free stuff could be "a total game-changer" for the party.

"Hear me out, guys — what if we just tried promising uninformed, ignorant people that we'll give them free stuff if they vote for us?" Mandami reportedly asked at a campaign brainstorming meeting. "Why haven't we tried this before? Come on, people. Get your stuff together and let's start overpromising free handouts to all the morons out there — we'll win in a landslide!"

High-level Democrats said that the new campaigning strategy just might end up changing the party's entire approach to politics.

"This is really fantastic stuff," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Free stuff for stupid people's votes? What a breakthrough! All we have to do is lie about how much stuff we can give away, and those horrible Republicans will never hold office again."

Sources close to the GOP say that Republicans were scrambling to find a suitable response to the new threat.

"We need a plan," Senate Majority Leader John Thune urged his fellow Republicans. "Could we just have Nancy Mace release more inappropriate pictures of herself? Let's get some ideas rolling — midterms are coming up."

At publishing time, Democrats had reportedly discovered a second innovative solution of shipping in millions of illegal immigrants to increase their voter turnout.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

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1 posted on 06/26/2025 11:56:19 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Good stuff. That’s been the demonicRATS’ m.o. for 60 years.


2 posted on 06/26/2025 12:10:56 PM PDT by Texas Eagle ("Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack"- Donald J. Trump)
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To: DFG
This is really fantastic stuff," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Free stuff for stupid people's votes? What a breakthrough! All we have to do is lie about how much stuff we can give away, and those horrible Republicans will never hold office again."

The Bee zinged the Dems again .. I love it!!!

3 posted on 06/26/2025 12:50:54 PM PDT by DeplorableTrumpSupporter (FKA ConservaTeen)
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To: Texas Eagle

Yep. And the RINOs plan is just taking away one freebie.


4 posted on 06/26/2025 12:53:11 PM PDT by Fledermaus ("It turns out all we really needed was a new President!")
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To: DFG

This hits right on the mark.


5 posted on 06/26/2025 1:58:09 PM PDT by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
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To: DFG; Texas Eagle; DeplorableTrumpSupporter; No name given
The Babylon Bee article reminded me of a July 4 letter I send to papers and commentators every year. Of course, his take is really not a new inspiration.

July 4 and the American Dream

On July 4 we recognize the Declaration of Independence for defining the American Dream as granting by our Creator of inalienable natural liberties including life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. They represent intangible property sourced in opinion, religion, communications, use of abilities to labor physically and mentally, and in conscience. Only by application of these inherent rights can one truly possess material property. The Constitution established a government embodying these treasured rights by promoting the general welfare and securing the blessings of liberty.

Whatever the Constitution defined as an American Dream did not involve government providing largess to ensure college funds, retirement accounts, savings, affordable health care, home ownership, lifetime employment, corporate wealth, political careers, and union benefits.

However, politicians who become patricians promote their welfare by offering citizens enchanting elements of material security such as described above, while obscuring subservience to administrative laws and regulations vastly increasing their power. Their legislation and rules negate our Bill of Rights confiscating intangible human freedoms for these apparitions.

Such devices are the soft underbelly of our Constitution. Under English Common Law, basic to our Constitution, a person is innocent and not subject to the penalties of law until proved guilty. Administrative laws and regulations, like Roman Civil Law, subject people to government penalties and restrictions until they find means to extricate themselves.

People now routinely make Faustian like bargains unconsciously which exchange parts of their human essence for illusions of material comfort and security.

Partial Bibliography:

The History and Danger of Administrative Law

https://imprimis.hillsdale.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Imprimis-The-History-and-Danger-of-Administrative-Law-Sept-2014.pdf

Constitution Society: John Locke CHAP. V Of Property

http://www.constitution.org/jl/2ndtr05.htm

Property by James Madison

http://www.revolutionary-war-and-beyond.com/property-by-james-madison-march-29-1792.html

6 posted on 06/26/2025 3:39:12 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: DFG

The people more likely to need free stuff were less likely to vote for him than more well off people were. People in NYC with higher incomes were more stupid than people with lower incomes.


7 posted on 06/26/2025 4:03:45 PM PDT by FreedomForce
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