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Biden Signs With Talent Agency, Lands Role As Corpse On 'CSI'
Babylon Bee ^ | 02/06/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/06/2025 12:31:18 PM PST by DFG

LOS ANGELES, CA — Questions about his future after leaving the White House were apparently answered this week, as Joe Biden announced that he had signed with a talent agency and immediately landed a role as a corpse on CSI:Vegas.

The former president successfully made his transition from the Oval Office to Hollywood, inking a deal with industry powerhouse Creative Artists Agency, which quickly found a highly sought-after role of a lifeless body on the popular CBS television series.

"We've never seen someone more perfect to play this part," said CSI:Vegas showrunner Jason Tracey. "I've been involved in the CSI franchise for years, and we've gone through hundreds and hundreds of corpses over that time. I've never seen anyone who more perfectly portrays a dead person than Joe Biden. It's the role he was meant to play."

Sources said Biden filmed his scene earlier this week in a single take, though he reportedly offered to spend all day shooting it as many times as needed. "This is a heck of a gig, Jack," the former president was overheard saying. "All these years I could've been doing this for a living. I wish someone would have… would have… I wish that they… back before. I was a truck driver. Drove a big rig. And I… I… that's how that happened. With the egg salad."

The show's crew said Biden was one of the easiest actors they had ever worked with, though they had to wake him up after filming was completed.

At publishing time, film producers were rumored to already be heavily pursuing Biden to star in a modern reboot of the cult classic Weekend at Bernie's.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 02/06/2025 12:31:19 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Nice BBee! He’s been a stiff since 2017.


2 posted on 02/06/2025 12:34:22 PM PST by Karliner (Heb 4:12 Rom 8:28 Rev 3, "...This is the end of the beginning." Churchill)
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To: DFG

Lol.


3 posted on 02/06/2025 12:34:30 PM PST by EvilCapitalist (Pets are no substitute for children)
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To: DFG
And just like Biden, CSI was canceled.

-PJ

4 posted on 02/06/2025 12:36:14 PM PST by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: DFG

Joe is multi-talented so he could also play the drunken sot uncle, the niece-molester, the clueless patient in either an old folks home OR a aclf whose’s family ditched him for being a “sexual pervert”. the roles are endless


5 posted on 02/06/2025 12:42:48 PM PST by Qwapisking (Q: know the difference between a petulant 6 y.o. and a liberal? A:agse. L.Star )
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To: DFG

LOL

That is hilarious


6 posted on 02/06/2025 12:47:01 PM PST by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me https://youtu.be/wH-pk2vZG2M)
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To: DFG

I remember that Investigation Discovery Network (a true crime network) allowed viewers to enter a contest to be a corpse on one of their docu-drama murder shows. Maybe there is a future for Joe.


7 posted on 02/06/2025 12:49:28 PM PST by Opinionated Blowhard (When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.)
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To: DFG

Joe is multi-talented so he could also play the drunken sot uncle, the niece-molester, the clueless patient in either an old folks home OR a aclf whose’s family ditched him for being a “sexual pervert”. the roles are endless.


8 posted on 02/06/2025 12:53:18 PM PST by Qwapisking (Q: know the difference between a petulant 6 y.o. and a liberal? A:agse. L.Star )
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To: DFG

For which he was paid $6 million ....


9 posted on 02/06/2025 12:53:50 PM PST by sphinx
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To: DFG

I can’t believe that I laughed out loud...loudly!!


10 posted on 02/06/2025 12:56:07 PM PST by Sacajaweau
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To: DFG

They can just edit together his videos.


11 posted on 02/06/2025 1:28:14 PM PST by Scrambler Bob (Running Rampant, and not endorsing nonsense; My pronoun is EXIT. And I am generally full of /S)
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To: DFG

The Walking Dead


12 posted on 02/06/2025 1:41:45 PM PST by wardamneagle
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To: DFG

He can handle the role dead to rights


13 posted on 02/06/2025 1:47:39 PM PST by chajin ("There is no other name under heaven given among people by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12)
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To: DFG

And Jill and Hunter take all the money. Joe gets some ice cream if he behaves.


14 posted on 02/06/2025 1:57:10 PM PST by laplata (They want each crisis to take the greatest toll possible.)
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To: DFG

LOL!!


15 posted on 02/06/2025 4:29:45 PM PST by Lizavetta
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To: DFG

Jeff Dunham sent Walter out for repairs and he needs a stand-in.


16 posted on 02/06/2025 5:01:22 PM PST by MayflowerMadam (It's hard not to celebrate the fall of bad people. - Bongino and)
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