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All Bump Stocks Lost In Boating Accidents Back In 2017 Miraculously Wash Up On Shore
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/15/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/15/2024 1:07:58 PM PDT by DFG

U.S. — In one of the most remarkable miracles in human history, the thousands of bump stocks that went missing seven years ago in boating accidents all simultaneously washed ashore and have been reunited with their owners.

"Wow, my bump stock washed ashore! And just a day after the Supreme Court ruling overturning the ban!" said local man Omar Gonzales. "What's even crazier, my neighbor Bill also lost his in a boating accident in 2017, and his bump stock also washed ashore this morning. It's a miracle!"

Across the nation, tens of thousands of Americans reported similar shocking experiences. "It's the darndest thing," said local man John Robinson. "Every single one of my buddies at the gun club said their bump stock washed ashore today, still in great condition. What kind of natural phenomenon does that? It's almost as weird as when everyone I knew lost their bump stocks in boating accidents back in 2017. What an amazing coincidence."

At publishing time, experts had warned that Biden's attempt to ban AR-15s could lead to another horrific epidemic of boating accidents.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: accident; ar15; babylonbee; babylondesimps; bumpstock; fakenews; gunclub
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1 posted on 06/15/2024 1:07:58 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Love this!


2 posted on 06/15/2024 1:09:13 PM PDT by Engraved-on-His-hands
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To: DFG

Something tells me the writers at the Babylon Bee read Free Republic.


3 posted on 06/15/2024 1:16:09 PM PDT by EvilCapitalist (Pets are no substitute for children)
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To: DFG

Blockheads for bump stocks!


4 posted on 06/15/2024 1:26:48 PM PDT by dragnet2 (Diversion and evasion are tools of deceit)
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To: EvilCapitalist
Something tells me the writers at the Babylon Bee read Free Republic.

Now why would you say that? :)

"It's the darndest thing," said local man John Robinson.

5 posted on 06/15/2024 1:34:55 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear ( Roses are red, Violets are blue, I love being on the government watch list, along with all of you.)
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To: DFG

And just like that.....


6 posted on 06/15/2024 1:47:36 PM PDT by ComputerGuy (Heavily-medicated for your protection)
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To: DFG

Oh that Bee. :0)


7 posted on 06/15/2024 1:56:11 PM PDT by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear
- "It's the darndest thing," said local man John Robinson -

At least they didn't say "Jim Thompson". That would have been a blast from the past. ;-)

8 posted on 06/15/2024 1:59:02 PM PDT by ken in texas
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To: Engraved-on-His-hands

When mine washed ashore it showed no signs of immersion in water for 4 years. No algae, no slime, no barnacles, and the price tag was there just like new. The old pre Biden Inflation price that is. Hell, I could sell it tomorrow and make a handsome profit.

However, the Gun Gods whispered in my ear and said, “if you do that!” “The wrath of bad ballistics, strong crosswinds, bad primers, fouled barrels, drizzling rain with sleet on hunting days and cancerous rust shall descend on you and your weapons as you deserve none if you sell the sacred item.” The Gun Gods also mentioned that at precisely one minute past the end of hunting season the most magnificent buck that ever walked the earth will present itself against the fading light of near dusk a mere 75 yards away and my hunting partner is the game warden. The Gun Gods are kind to kindred souls but their punishment for transgressions will rend one’s soul.


9 posted on 06/15/2024 2:22:32 PM PDT by cpdiii (cane cutter, deckhand, oilfield roughneck, drilling fluid tech, geologist, pilot, pharmacist ,MAGA)
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To: cpdiii

You don’t mess with the Gun Gods. Strangely, something like that appears to be happening with pistol braces too. It’s a miracle!


10 posted on 06/15/2024 2:27:05 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: DFG

I think a few might have doubled as fishing bobbers and trap markers for an awhile.


11 posted on 06/15/2024 2:35:27 PM PDT by Liaison (TANSTAAFL)
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To: DFG

This is perfect. There is nothing more to add.


12 posted on 06/15/2024 2:40:28 PM PDT by tballard56
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To: Billthedrill

Another Freeper mentioned that the Babylon Bee may hang out on Free Republic looking for conservative humor. I do not doubt that. Oddly over the years I had posts that I saw later by conservative commentators that were almost identical to my post or posts of other Freepers. When I see things like that, it makes me smile.


13 posted on 06/15/2024 2:42:34 PM PDT by cpdiii (cane cutter, deckhand, oilfield roughneck, drilling fluid tech, geologist, pilot, pharmacist ,MAGA)
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To: cpdiii; Buckhead

I suspect Brit Hume or one of his staff are Free Republic lurkers. Brit was the first national media person to break the story of the National Guard phony papers on Bush W relative to his service as a pilot in the Guard. Freeper “Buckhead” is the one that busted them.

Brit closed by saying, “Credit where Credit is due” and showed Free Republics Logo. Odd is it not that with all the staff and “experts” CBS had they did not realize it was a forgery. Actually, they wanted it to be true so did not give the story due diligence. It cost Dan Rather his job. :)


14 posted on 06/15/2024 2:51:06 PM PDT by cpdiii (cane cutter, deckhand, oilfield roughneck, drilling fluid tech, geologist, pilot, pharmacist ,MAGA)
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To: DFG

Hahahaha!


15 posted on 06/15/2024 2:58:41 PM PDT by rlmorel (In Today's Democrat America, The $5 Dollar Bill is the New $1 Dollar Bill.)
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To: cpdiii
That happened often to me, too.

-PJ

16 posted on 06/15/2024 3:07:13 PM PDT by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: cpdiii

I do always hope my comments get plagiarized.


17 posted on 06/15/2024 3:16:13 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: cpdiii

In a certain sense we’re all one big family.


18 posted on 06/15/2024 3:16:29 PM PDT by xp38
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To: Billthedrill

The specific gravity of water is 1. With the metal in the pistol brace plus the plastic it will have a specific gravity greater than 1. They should be firmly on the bottom of the lake or sea where they were lost. Yet they float to the surface unscathed in new conditions to the exact same spot they were lost and by chance the owner is always there. LOL

THE GUN GODS ARE GOOD!


19 posted on 06/15/2024 3:25:21 PM PDT by cpdiii (cane cutter, deckhand, oilfield roughneck, drilling fluid tech, geologist, pilot, pharmacist ,MAGA)
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To: DFG

Amazing! All those bumpstocks hopping out of the water like dolphins at Sea World.


20 posted on 06/15/2024 3:37:18 PM PDT by madison10
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