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Newsom Issues Ban On Legal-Citizen Voting
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/23/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/23/2024 1:21:18 PM PDT by DFG

SACRAMENTO, CA - In a recent move to increase voter access, strengthen election integrity, and improve the voting process, California Governor Gavin Newsom has just signed a bill banning legal citizens from voting in local, state, and federal elections.

Sources close to the Governor's Office say that the bill prohibits all legal citizens from casting a vote, including but not limited to "any person possessing a proper driver's license, passport, social security card, or other valid means of state or federal identification."

"It is my sincere hope that this measure will help defend the electoral processes of the great state of California from legal voters who might otherwise be allowed to vote for Republican candidates or - science forbid! - good policies," Newsom said in a press conference. "I will not allow this great democracy to perish because of partisan conspiracy theorists or legal citizens."

According to California officials, the bill also includes a clause allowing for the prosecution of any card-carrying members of the NRA or registered Republicans who come within 300 feet of a voting booth.

At publishing time, Newsom was seen headed to lunch at French Laundry after signing a bill to ensure that only legal Mexican citizens and homeless people in California would be issued properly pre-marked mail-in ballots.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; california; citizen; gavinnewsom; newsom; voting

1 posted on 05/23/2024 1:21:18 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

And libtards clapped like seals 🦭


2 posted on 05/23/2024 1:23:49 PM PDT by NWFree (Sigma male 🤪)
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To: DFG

Humor will be a joke on us if the Left takes over.

Remember when Bill Clinton nominated a woman named C. Lani Guinier in 1993 , a professor who had written that due to the unfairness of white people running the country after 1776, a reparation to redress the grievance would be for all blacks to have their votes count MORE THAN ONE VOTE EACH in all elections. Proportionate voting.🗳️🗳️

Her name was withdrawn after Americans——of that bygone era——considered it unfair to abandon one person, one vote.


3 posted on 05/23/2024 1:33:30 PM PDT by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls.)
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To: DFG

You had me going there for a moment, but I honestly expect this to come to pass!


4 posted on 05/23/2024 1:44:11 PM PDT by ducttape45 (Proverbs 14:34, "Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people.")
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To: DFG

Good. It was so racis.


5 posted on 05/23/2024 1:47:52 PM PDT by AndyJackson
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To: DFG

to be followed by anew law that forbids

Voting while Racist ( white )


6 posted on 05/23/2024 1:58:40 PM PDT by cuz1961
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To: cuz1961

a VUI

Voting Under the Influence

of systemic racism

( aka being white)


7 posted on 05/23/2024 2:00:27 PM PDT by cuz1961
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To: DFG

I almost fell for it.
Those Bee Guys.


8 posted on 05/23/2024 2:45:09 PM PDT by Zathras
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