Posted on 06/20/2023 10:35:30 AM PDT by DFG
WILMINGTON, DE — Hunter Biden, son of President Joe Biden, has successfully negotiated an agreement with federal prosecutors to avoid jail time for charges of tax and firearm crimes by pleading "Biden."
"It's an airtight legal defense," said CNN legal analyst Laura Coates. "Our sources have reported Hunter's attorneys met with prosecutors and simply said ‘Our client's last name is Biden,' at which point prosecutors agreed to forego any jail time for the charges. Prosecutors knew they could do nothing against the ‘I'm a Biden' defense tactic. It works every time."
Hunter's legal team defended the deal against claims of preferential treatment. "Allegations of double standards are ridiculous," said one of Hunter's attorneys. "Every Biden is treated exactly the same way."
Criticism of the deal came in quickly from right-wing Nazi MAGA Republicans. "So he doesn't pay his taxes, breaks federal gun laws, and rapes underage prostitutes, but he gets no jail time?" local unimportant middle-class guy David Megli. "I guess it pays off to be the son of a corrupt President after all."
As part of the plea deal, Hunter's most severe penalty will be having his hair playfully tousled by the judge while being called "a naughty little rascal." Hunter will then return home to celebrate the plea deal by snorting cocaine off a hooker's buttocks.
At publishing time, former President Donald Trump had filed paperwork to legally change his last name to Biden in an effort to have all federal indictments against him dropped.
Well, you know, he has a point there...
I agree that the deal is much better than most people would get.
But…did anyone really expect anything different? Now Joe will give him a blanket pardon…and ALL sins will be erased.
Pure BB gold.
But God won't.....
Joe Biden is the most corrupt president in the history of the USA.
Babylon Bee. I knew it.
Says it all.
When did the Bee start dropping satire?
Oh, he’s going to hell.
He would go to hell for the way he treats his own kid. Who can do that crap to a child? And Joe should be driving the bus.
No one is above the law
Bolshevik Democrats
Media
The Clintons
Yes not much change in the democrat party hacks.
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