Posted on 02/22/2023 8:37:40 AM PST by John Semmens
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot (D) expressed disappointment that "the decision of homeless people to squat in the cozy confines of O'Hare Airport comes at an especially bad time for me. Unfortunately, the squatting is literal. Though the airport has plenty of restroom facilities a distressingly large portion of those camping inside the airport can't make the effort to hold it until they get to a restroom."
A possible contributing factor for not using the restrooms is that in 55 Chicago schools not a single student is proficient in reading. Randi Weingarten, president of the American Federation of Teachers, blamed the pandemic, "between the masking, remote instruction, and poor parenting it's no wonder kids can't read. It's clear to me that abolishing standards and tests is our best option going forward. We can't make students learn, but we don't have to publicize their ignorance."
As is her habit, Lighfoot promised "that if I am reelected I will do something to resolve this problem. All I need is more time. For years the homeless were satisfied with camping on the streets. Why did they have to choose now to illegally occupy the airport? What occurs to me is that my opponents put them up to it just to embarrass me before the election. I hope I can convince voters that this racist attack on me is even more reason why they should support me for another term."
Polls show Paul Vallas is currently in the lead in the crowded field of candidates at 19%. Jesus Garcia is second with 17%. Lightfoot is third with 14%. Six other candidates have even less voter support. Twenty percent of the voters are undecided. If no one gets a majority the top two will go to a head-to-head runoff. The one thing all of the Mayor's opponents agree on is that she isn't competent to do the job. "With fours years of worsening city problems during her term, it's time that someone more competent is given a chance," Garcia said.
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,492042.0.html
Squatters did not learn to read in the failed schools, so that’s why they can’t find the way to a bathroom and must take a dump on the floor of the airport terminal.
But re-elect me and I will fix it - this time, I promise.
Place pictures of Ms Beetlejuice all over the airport. That’ll scare off any being in the multiverse.
She’s an unmitigated kunt. If she’s reelected, I have no respect for the people of Chicongo. Like I didn’t already.
Per Weingarten: “...poor parenting...” It’s always been pretty obvious that one of the goals of the public school system at large is to neturalize the parents. No mention by her that so many of the NEA dues payers are stupid, undereducated and lazy.
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