Posted on 04/26/2022 11:33:49 AM PDT by DFG
U.S.—Democratic leadership is reportedly spooked by new polling data which indicates even the dead may vote Republican in November. Voter turnout is expected to be the highest ever recorded.
Experts warn a "Red Wave" may cover the nation as both the living and dead push back against key Democratic policies such as child grooming and seeing how high inflation can get.
Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer has sounded the alarm in Congress, advising senators to double down on their unpopular policies in an attempt to improve poll numbers among the dead. "The dead need their student loans paid!" he said in an emotional address on the Senate floor.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, meanwhile, has suggested rising sea levels as a result of climate change are to blame if a giant wave ends up flooding the country.
According to sources, Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has begun binge-watching AMC's The Walking Dead for ideas on how to quell the undead threat. "You need to hit them in the brain. Then they can't vote!" she said while barricading the capitol building.
Sen Mitt Romney feels confident that he'll weather the storm by continuing to plant himself firmly on the political fence. "By playing both sides I can please all voters of Utah and accomplish nothing," said a confident Romney. "No way they'll replace me with an actual Republican."
At publishing time, Sen Ted Cruz has begun eating popcorn as he watches his leftist colleagues scramble.
If the dead change their minds, it’s bad for the Democrats.
That’s what I was going to say. One of those “My dead grandpa voted Dem, my dead dad votes Dem, so I’m gonna vote Dem” things.
If the bee keeps this up, twitter will shirley ban them
The Bee is hitting grand-slams today. Love ya, Bee
After the Biden/Democrat dumpster fire for the past 15 months, if the Democrats came out on top in November, not a single truthful person in this country would buy it. No way.
It would be utterly outrageous and obvious.
Night of the living dead:
“It has been established that persons who have recently died have been returning to life and committing acts of murder. A widespread investigation of funeral homes, morgues, and hospitals has concluded that the unburied dead have been returning to life and seeking human victims. It’s hard for us here to be reporting this to you, but it does seem to be a fact.”
VOTING:
“It has been established that persons who have recently died have been returning to life and committing acts of voting for Democrats. A widespread investigation of funeral homes, morgues, and hospitals has concluded that the unburied dead have been returning to life and voting for Democrat politicians does seem to be a fact.
I’m guessing they cheat in smaller less publicized races.
Don’t put it past them. They will repeat the claims of the Canadian and French elections. It was an almost win for the right. They almost won, by golly. They are getting closer. Democrat power may be slightly less as a result of their great showing. Better luck next time.
But this time thousands of people will be watching for fraud.
Lol. Yes.
If the Republicans don’t win the dead Union soldiers might do a real insurrection on the capital like the Democrats came close to doing in their Battle of Fort Stevens during the Civil War (when the Democrat Confederate army attacked a fort in the District of Columbia in what is now northwest Washington, DC).
Well, once they start turning over in their graves, what do you expect?
And just who has been busy inspiring them... from beyond? Me thinks a golden E-I-Bee microphone may bee involved:
Terrible news for Dems, as the dead have always been a “lock” for them.
Jerry Garcia may have something to say about this ;’}
I guess Joe got an earful from what has always been a solid democrat voting bloc when he was caught on camera shaking hands with them.
It will be more like a red tide than a red wave. The political equivalent of an algal bloom instead of a wave of fresh ideas in DC.
Those expecting big changes from Republicans are in for yet another disappointment. Some things never change.
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