Posted on 10/13/2021 4:31:50 PM PDT by DFG
On Wednesday, William Shatner, the beloved Boston Legal actor famous for portraying attorney Denny Crane, traveled to space.
Shatner was one of four people aboard Jeff Bezos’s cucumber-shaped Blue Origin rocket as it soared to the edge of the atmosphere, offering breathtaking views and a few minutes of weightlessness. The shaft of the eggplant-shaped craft then detached and passengers floated back to earth. The mission seemed to be a success, but concerned witnesses said something about Shatner seemed off.
"He seemed…evil," said another crew member. "And he had a black goatee that really added to his evil look."
After attempting to sabotage the next flight by removing the inertial dampeners and randomly attacking a civilian in a red shirt, Shatner declared that West Texas, where he landed, was “now part of the Terran Empire.” When Bezos attempted to congratulate him on his journey, Shatner cracked a bunch of bald jokes and mocked Bezos for being only the second richest person in the world.
Experts theorize that somewhere in the lower atmosphere, the mushroom-shaped vessel encountered a disruption in the space/time continuum, and the William Shatner from our reality was replaced by a sinister William Shatner from a parallel timeline. Worst of all, the mirror Shatner is almost indistinguishable from our William Shatner, save his striking goatee and big, thick, evil eyebrows.
Thankfully, the threat posed by evil William Shatner is predicted to be short-lived since, like the real William Shatner, he is 90 years old. Due to his age, he will probably return to the heavens soon, and this time not in a bratwurst-shaped spacecraft.
“...And I SAW it with MY OWN EYES!!!”
Junk science at its best!
I bet George would really appreciate that space ship, for some reason...
LOL... Yes he would!
What crap mocking Shatner’s age and possible upcoming death. Not funny at all.
Lighten up Francis. Find your safe “space” where no one can hear you scream!.
[Although what pisses me off even more is that he can afford the ticket for that trip and I cannot.]
Shatner didn’t have to pay a dime. He was an invited guest by Bezos.
i would have considered going with “deluxe vibrator shaped rocket” :-P
I agree.
Bwhahaha ... That happened to 1 of them on every episode!
Aw,come on…I am 89 and I thought it was funny.
.
Yes, a giant Ralph Northam or Martin O’Malley.
There was a novel about that alternate universe involving Captain Picard, many decades later in the Star Trek reality. I am not 100% certain, but I think that it was titled ‘Dark Mirror.’
Yes, we don’t need to ride in a ship that looks like a giant Gavin Newsom or Phil Murphy.
What, like a big Chuck Schumer or Chris Van Hollen?
The dreaded red shirts!
If Bezos is a liberal, shouldn’t his spaceship be electric?
Takei must by thinking, “cucumber my a$$.”
,,,,,,,
Here are some commas. Please use one to show this is grammatically an interjection rather than a request or command. :-)
Nice nod to one of the shows from TOS.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.