Skip to comments.
Governor Cuomo Orders Nursing Homes To Admit Rioters
Babylon Bee ^
| 06/02/2020
Posted on 06/02/2020 4:30:44 PM PDT by DFG
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has ordered nursing homes to admit violent rioters and protesters throughout the state.
"If we are going to be compassionate, caring, and pro-science, we need to admit these oppressed individuals into every care facility available," he said at a press conference this morning. "I don't want to hear any talk of how this might hurt old people. This isn't the Dark Ages -- we listen to SCIENCE in this state!"
The order forced nursing homes to admit anyone carrying a brick, Molotov cocktail, baseball bat, or bike lock and house them until they recover. Scientists agree this is the best possible move and say that anyone who has concerns about how it might affect the elderly is an anti-science bigot.
"What a nice young man!" Ethel Carver said as one protester burst in with a Molotov cocktail. "Ooooh! He brought a fun toy to play with too! Come over here and let me pinch your cheek!"
There has been considerable violence in the nursing homes since this occurred, though these deaths are being counted as COVID-19-related.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; cuomo; cuomoholocaust; hcqludditeholocaust; ny; rememberthebodybags; rioters
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-28 next last
1
posted on
06/02/2020 4:30:44 PM PDT
by
DFG
To: DFG
At first glace I thought the headline was true.
2
posted on
06/02/2020 4:32:26 PM PDT
by
CaptainK
('No collusion, no obstruction, he's a leaker')
To: CaptainK
3
posted on
06/02/2020 4:33:27 PM PDT
by
a fool in paradise
(Joe Biden- "First thing I'd do is repeal those Trump tax cuts." (May 4th, 2019))
To: CaptainK
👍
4
posted on
06/02/2020 4:33:47 PM PDT
by
hawkaw
To: null and void
5
posted on
06/02/2020 4:33:48 PM PDT
by
a fool in paradise
(Joe Biden- "First thing I'd do is repeal those Trump tax cuts." (May 4th, 2019))
To: DFG
6
posted on
06/02/2020 4:33:53 PM PDT
by
Ciexyz
(Prayers for America.)
To: DFG
The Babylon Bee has been working overtime to stay ahead of real life.
7
posted on
06/02/2020 4:34:29 PM PDT
by
Lysandru
To: All
I was almost fooled by the headline
To: DFG
When I saw the title I knew it was the “Bee”.
Funny.
9
posted on
06/02/2020 4:35:57 PM PDT
by
MayflowerMadam
(Nothing happens to a Christian that God does not allow to happen.)
To: CaptainK
10
posted on
06/02/2020 4:36:05 PM PDT
by
Jane Long
(Praise God, from whom ALL blessings flow.)
To: DFG
11
posted on
06/02/2020 4:36:16 PM PDT
by
chris37
(China's Gift wasn't born in a bowl of bat soup.)
To: a fool in paradise
The Bee crowd knows liberals so well.
12
posted on
06/02/2020 4:36:43 PM PDT
by
wally_bert
(Transmission tone, Selma.)
To: DFG
They haven’t gotten even better the last few months!
13
posted on
06/02/2020 4:39:11 PM PDT
by
Trillian
To: DFG
“Cuomo Orders Nursing Homes To Admit Rioters”
Let’s not give Cuomo any ideas.
To: CaptainK
“ At first glace I thought the headline was true.”
That is what makes good satire, when the headline is not only plausible, but probable
15
posted on
06/02/2020 4:42:26 PM PDT
by
dsrtsage
(Complexity is merely simplicity lacking imagination)
To: DFG
More covid carriers to help kill the helpless.
16
posted on
06/02/2020 5:02:08 PM PDT
by
Don Corleone
(The truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth)
To: DFG
Maybe they’ll catch the Virus and Die
To: DFG
It’s getting more and more difficult to believe these articles are satire.
18
posted on
06/02/2020 5:10:33 PM PDT
by
beethovenfan
(Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin)
To: CaptainK
At first glace I thought the headline was true.
You were not a lone ranger in that line of thought!
19
posted on
06/02/2020 5:17:49 PM PDT
by
Grampa Dave
( If the reason you're wearing a mask is to protect me, stay at home. If you're sick, stay at home!)
To: Grampa Dave
I live in NY, so I live every day with the stupidity of Cuomo.
20
posted on
06/02/2020 5:20:40 PM PDT
by
CaptainK
('No collusion, no obstruction, he's a leaker')
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-28 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson