Posted on 08/02/2016 10:56:43 AM PDT by Scythian_Reborn
I've been married 25 years, I'm not going to go into the reasons but I just need to file for divorce, we have three kids, youngest is in high school. Love them more than I can say, to live in a different house than them is the most terrible thing I can imagine.
Already my heart is breaking just thinking about it but there's no saving this marriage. Have any of you been through such a thing? How did you cope with the loneliness. I am not a drinker and don't have a lot of friends.
Do any of you regret it terribly, I need to know ...
Oh, and my son ended up with full legal custody, and primary placement. That was 9 years ago, and my grandson is growing into an exceptional young man.
They both, however, made sure my grandson knew that whatever was going on, was between the two of them, and they both still loved him. It wasn't easy, but I think that helped him handle the divorce of his parents better than he might have otherwise.
Marriage is a civil contract. You’re forming a partnership. In a partnership, you’re on the hook for torts that your partner commits. I wish more people would get this concept.
Even if you are not Catholic, but Christian, or a faithful man believer in God ... try to save it ... show an effort.
If it becomes truly intolerable, first .... DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE. You have a right to stay in your own house ... find a bedroom, sofa, etc.
Next ... call on --> http://www.adamdivorcelaw.com/
I am just completing a divorce now. Wife and I have both signed a settlement we agreed on with a little assistance from attorneys. Divorce decree will be issued any day now.
My wife initiated it. There were longstanding tensions, and although I think the marriage could have been salvaged, she did not.
I was fortunate to have an ex-wife who was committed to doing it amicably.
I would hope that after 25 years of marriage, you don’t hate one another guts. You also have children, which again I would hope you and your wife can agree on how to handle. If you can both approach it with a spirit of fairness, love (though the marriage is ending), and compromise, you’ll both retain a much larger portion of your estate. Also, whatever you can agree on without attorneys, do so.
You both should want to get on with the next chapter of your life on as good a footing as possible. Don’t hurt yourselves by bringing your marriage drama into the divorce settlement discussions. If you and your wife can let go of any residual anger or bitterness, your future will be better.
If you and your wife haven’t attempted counseling, then you should try. If it really is a lost cause, then again just conduct yourselves in a way that minimizes future pain and regret.
As far as the loneliness goes, your youngest is in high school. When he/she graduates, see it as a chance to embark on whatever you want. Move to another city, travel the world, in other words, focus on your happiness, not on what you have lost. If you want to be with someone, believe me it will find you.
I had a friend at work who went through something similar. He really wanted the divorce when his youngest of two was just entering high school. He held out for as long as he could, at which point his kids were all 18 or older. As adults, they could choose who to live/associate with.
In this particular instance, the wife was a mental case and verbally abusive towards the children. While my friend could have attempted to have this resolved in court, he chose to hold on for a couple of years until his kids were adults. He now is divorced and has very good relationships with his children outside of any oversight from their mother.
The Lord fixed me up. My wife dumped me after 20 years and I prayed that my heart would be set free. Two weeks later, I realized I had lost ALL feeling for her. A week later I met the woman of my dreams and we’ve been happily married for 18 years.
i.e. Prayer
Oh, and I have three daughters. They were 10, 13 and 16 when it happened. Everyone is fine now.
Scorched earth. It’s the only way to be sure.
“Within a few days of that conversation, before I had actually seen a lawyer, the ex- missed an evening activity at the school, in order to go drink with his work buddies.”
After a long day of him toiling at work to pay your bills and sustain your lifestyle, I’m sure.
Just wait a year or two and the hole damn country will either be south american or muslim. American women will be a rarity soon. If Sharia prevails, that means your aunt, cousin, sister, mother will soon be shacking up with a muslim.
These days in some cases the parents get “joint custody” of the children. It may be a little hard on the kids, spending half time at one parent and half with the other one, but there are also a lot of benefits. You might look into this — discuss it with your lawyer.
Also, you may feel lonely, but be careful to avoid another relationship, which may be detrimental to you.
It’s tough, but hang in there, try to stay friendly with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, for the sake of the children.
My ex cheated over past few years with 4 different people... decided to be 1600 miles with the last guy. We did a mediator... split everything up.
I went on match.com for semi-respectable women and adultfriendfinder.com for less respectable women.
Since my separation early June, I’ve killed more Trojans than Achilles.
The emotional pain fades fairly quickly if you get up and go to work every day no matter what.
The financial pain is around for a heckuva lot longer. At least an order of magnitude more.
You have absolutely no idea of my circumstances and my lifestyle or what he paid for or I paid for. You are out of line to make such an ignorant comment.
You seem to be defending that a father should go to the bar and drink instead of going to his child’s school activities. That is despicable.
I have worked full time for over 40 years now, and have NEVER had spending habits above reproach by anyone. When we split, the ex- was spending over $1,000 per month to finance his social and drinking life. Meanwhile, I scrimped in order to have money to buy new shoes for the kids when they needed them.
My sincerest condolences to you.
And another thing; take the Red Pill.
>>1st one to hire an attny wins...dont screw around go for the throat
Agree completely, but let the attorney be the bad guy/gal.
Nice!
In general, women are not worth the headache these days. The second something doesn’t go their way in the relationship they screw some strange peter and then blame it on you for not meeting emotional needs.
Now if the man does that, he is lower than a dog.
I believe the quote is, “Let’s take off and nuke them from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.” from “Aliens” (1986)
Be prepared to get screwed over by the ex-wife, no matter how bad she is the judge will always give her the benefit of a doubt.
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