A few more key points:
Never, never, never complain about the lack of good men in mixed company. God only knows what eligible men there might have been interested in you.
Flirt. It works. Flirting means making it apparent to the other person that you want them to ask you out.
Don’t shop for a husband at a bar; shop in a social context where you will meet the same people several times.
As a man who became a widower at age 54, let me tell you about the reversal of social dynamics. I’m healthy, 6’2”, normal weight and debt-free. There are lots of women in that age group that are single, mostly divorced. I actually got hit on at my wife’s wake. I won’t go into further detail because it feels to me like boasting but if a man wants to know what a 22year-old girl on a destroyer feels like, he should try being single, healthy and available at 53.
How should women respond to men withdrawing from courtship
Just Scream: NEXT!
bkmk
There is an old, almost forgotten, southern means of finding out if a courting couple are compatible enough not just for marriage, but for a marriage that lasts. It was called “necking”, and has some very strict rules.
First of all, courtship was made more difficult in the old South because of there being a lack of entertainment. The place was deathly dull. Instead of going to a restaurant, one of the couple would go to the home of the parents of the other for a meal. If the girl was going to the boy’s home, she would help his mother and maybe his sisters in the kitchen. If the boy was going to the girl’s home, he would have to converse with her father and maybe brothers for an hour or more.
In any event, if they began dating, it typically meant sitting on the front porch of either house, under the watchful gaze of parents. This would go on a while until finally the “acid test” of necking was used.
Necking meant kissing. Nothing more. But after some warm ups, they would have to kiss in an uninterrupted manner for the better part of an hour.
Truthfully, if you were not compatible with another person, kissing them for over 5 minutes became intolerable. Usually both people would strongly realize that they were *not* compatible, beyond any doubt. If you could kiss for an hour, and still want *anything* to do with that other person, you could almost certainly be married and live happily ever after.
The experienced generally agree that kissing is far more intimate than sex. In this case, if a couple could neck for an hour, sex would be easy, polite, friendly and sympathetic. If they couldn’t neck for an hour, sex would be out of the question.
Of course this social custom only applied to the middle and upper classes. The lower classes typically reproduced like farm animals, having their own rules and customs.
World War II, changing society, entertainment and the “sexual revolution” were the death knell to this, because sex became seen as both a prerequisite to marriage and as more important than marriage.
Socialists proclaimed that marriage was just a social construct of no real value, that uninhibited sex was the goal of life, not long term monogamy and children, who should be raised by the state, not their parents.
Yes, once again, not only were they entirely wrong, but very destructive in the process. As Stalin proved, “You can break a heck of a lot of eggs and still not make an omelet.”
Don't give a man any money. Don't buy him expensive gifts, a watch, or clothing.
Don't let a man live in your residence.
Don't live in a man's residence -- make sure you can afford your own, and stay there most of the time. Don't let him stay over.
Don't let a man use your phone minutes.
Don't let a man offer to fix your car, appliances or work in your yard "in exchange" for food or a place to stay "temporarily."
Don't even "date" anyone who doesn't have a job.
If you must have sex outside of marriage, by all means don't let the man be responsible for birth control.
If you want to have a child and no husband material has arrived on the landscape, have a plan to do it alone. This plan should include a support system, a way to make a living before, during and after the pregnancy, a suitable place to live, no expectation of help from the man, and no intention to sue for child support. In fact, if you become pregnant, do not tell the man; sign the birth certificate "father unknown", move to another state and only leave the information in a sealed envelope with your child's godparent or legal guardian to be opened in the event of your death.
Just put a bounty on the heads of single white hetero men and be done with it.
Slim’s first rule of romance:
“What initially attracts, eventually dismays.”
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My father’s rule was ‘three dates’. If after three dates you’re not willing to marry the person (not that you have to get married after three dates, but the direction of the relationship has to be established) then you need to move on to the next person. He felt it wasn’t fair to the man or woman to waste their time with a person who would never be a partner. My mother was 14 when she met my father - who was 16 at the time - they fell in love - got married after their second year of college and loved each other their whole lives...