Posted on 07/24/2012 7:57:55 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
It has become a tradition in DUmmieland. From time to time, one of the disgruntled denizens of the DUmp will post a thread about how they are seriously considering fleeing Jesusland and migrating to Socialist Nirvana (e.g., Canada, France, one of the Scandinavian countries). But then they don't leave! They keep hanging around, whining about how bad 'Murrka is. It's all talk and no U-Haul.
We have such a whinefest today here in this THREAD by DUmmie Yavin4, "Is It Time to Leave America?"
So let us now gather in the lobby of the DUmmieland Useless Hostel, where the prog pilgrims are packing their backpacks and preparing to depart, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, declaring this a DUbble-DUFU Tuesday, is in the [brackets]:
Is It Time to Leave America?
[In your case, DUmmie Yavin4, yes.]
8%+ unemployment is rapidly becoming the new normal.
[Hey, it's Obamanomics. Get used to it.]
We have a Republican party dominated by hot-headed, ignorant, racists like Michelle Bachman. We have a Democratic party that is too weak to stand up for their own principles. Rule by oligarchy has been approved by the SCOTUS. And now, we have to be armed to the teeth.
[Just. Give. Up.]
Is this the kind of country that you want to raise your children in?
[You're forgetting, Yavin4, that most DUmmies don't have children. They have abortions. And homosex. And so the DUmmie dearth rate makes that a non-issue.]
Is this the kind of nation that you want to grow old in and have to pay for your health care. . . ?
[No way! Let's go to a country with rationed government health care, where we can wait three years for a hip replacement--if we qualify, if we don't get too old in the meantime and get sent to the Death Panel. . . .]
Do you want your tax dollars to pay for yet another war in Iran instead of education?
[If you're talking about FEDERAL tax dollars, then yes, I DO want those dollars to go toward a legitimate federal function like national defense and to stay clear away from a local matter like education.]
Emigrating to another nation is extremely difficult, but people do it every day when conditions in their native lands get so bad they have no choice.
[FUnnie how so many of them want to come to AMERICA! What's WRONG with them??]
We're nearing that point.
[Start packing!]
I know some of you will call me a coward and say, "stay and fight".
[No, I'll call you a DUmmie and say, "Please go!"]
Tell me, how are you going to fight an oligarchy, the religious nut cases, and the bigots who are armed to the teeth all at the same time?
[You can't. So go to Iran, for example, where you can escape all that.]
I am preparing to leave and live elsewhere.
[Bon voyage! Or are you going to be a big tease, DUmmie Yavin4, and end up staying?]
[Now let's see what your fellow travelers--who usually end up being non-travelers--have to say . . .]
My wife wants us to leave. We have an offer. I am waiting to see what happens in November. If that f*** Romney gets in, I am so out of here.
[Oh, why wait? I hear if you book travel to leave no later than November 5, you can get a big discount! So don't delay! Call today! That's 1-800-TOR-ONTO. Operators are standing by. . . .]
And go where?
[ANY place other than racist, bigoted, redneck, backwards 'Murrka!!]
To A More Civilized, Advanced Nation. Northern Europe. Canada. Heck, Colombia even looks good.
["EVEN" Colombia?? What are you, some sort of racist, that you can only go to white northern nations??]
Columbia???? You're joking right???
I think he said Colombia, which is a country. Columbia is much harder to get into.
[Not if you're a trangendered Hispanic African-American lesbian. You can even get a scholarship.]
if the entire planet is going to go to hell, thanks to the greed of a few, I want to be around people who read books, not the morons I see everywhere behaving as if they were on a reality TV show while never lifting their eyes from their anti social "texting" culture.
[u mad bro?]
There are problems with this. . . . You will be a foreigner there. And you are totally misinformed if you think other countries treat immigrant people better. In fact . . . the US treats its legal immigrants better than almost every other country treats theirs (if not every country.) . . . Plus, since you're foreign born, don't think your voice is going to count for anything with the government of the country you move to. It isn't. . . .
[DUmmie caseymoz, expect a Kewpie Doll to soon be migrating to your mailbox.]
Basically if you are going to leave your home country then it better be because of total persecution. You will trade the set of problems you know for a new and broader set. You will lose at least 25% of your earning power and your experience and qualifications will also be downgraded or erased.
[Sorry, DUmmie KurtNYC, there are immigration quotas on Kewpies arriving in DUmmieland. Only 1 per day.]
Consider New Zealand if you get the chance.
[If not, consider ZZZZZZzzzzland.]
I would go to France . . .
[That would be Nice.]
but only if the entire family would go too.
[Who needs them? C'mon, what have you got Toulouse? By the way, DUmmie graham4anything, I hear there's a place in France where they don't wear underpants. You may like that.]
Past Generations Did Have It Worse, But We're Regressing Back Into Their Time. Meanwhile, other nations continue to advance.
[Yes, please GO to one of those advanced places. You know, someplace like Zimbabwe, Somalia, Cuba, North Korea, Iran--hey, even Egypt now! Arab Spring, baby!]
a very bad contingent, that has festered, is trying to make America into their new Atlantis.
[Hail, Atlantis!]
They are a loud minority. They think they have it in the bag. . . .
[In the teabag.]
We have let ourselves be cowed by those loud mouths.
[Don't be cowed! Moove!]
I'm in my 50's, and there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that "voting" is going to reverse the slide into fascism in my lifetime.
[All your "vote" are belong to us.]
Maybe you could move to Oz, that wizard is pretty cool.
[Follow the mellow brick road!]
Adios!
[¡Vaya con Gaia!]
would love to move to Great Britain but . . . I would never be able to move there. I . . . know how expensive it is.
That's the problem with all of Europe. It's just too expensive for most of us.
[Welcome to Socialism!]
Food is cheaper in Germany than in the US.
[Hamburgers are plentiful there.]
We went to Ojai yesterday. . . . It was like being in another country.
[Apparently, Ojai is some "new age mecca" near Los Angeles. This appeals to another DUmmie . . .]
I am going to plan a trip, it's not to far away for me. I saw a documentary about a famous ceramic artist, a woman whose name I can't recall. . . .
[Ojai Simpson?]
Beatrice Wood- her studio is still there. . . . I treasure her book- "I Shock Myself."
[I thought benburch was the author of "I Shock Myself."]
I am a ceramicist.
[Confession is always the first step.]
LA is a cesspool of rabid roaches crawling over one another. . . .
[That's racist!]
What we need is a community on DU. A community set aside just for the discussion of expatriot locales. . ..
[Can we question your expatriotism now?]
Maybe we could move en masse, the whole DU community off-shoring to a new land.
[OH PLEASE! OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PUH-LEEEEEZE!!!!!!!!]
There has been talk of this in the past on DU- creating a DU community in RL.
["In RL"?? In Rio Linda? In Russki Land? In the Republic of Looneytoonia?]
Finding like minded people is not so easy, I guess that's why we're all here!
[There in DUmmieland, where you're searching for people with, like, minds.]
I daydream about leaving every day.
[I nightmare about you staying.]
I want to leave too. This country is done. . . . I'm now out of work for a full year with no prospects in sight.
[Is that you, Anthony Weiner?]
What a bunch of malarky. The GOP's old, white men are dying out. . . . They are showing all the signs of a party about to fade into the background.
[I can see November from my house, and I'm not seeing what you're seeing.]
What you fail to recognize is this: For every old pasty white man that should have died ten years ago, there are a THOUSAND roaches in the GOP woodwork, who are far more insane, set to take the old guard's place. . . . don't criticize the realists for knowing the lights are about to go out.
[A thousand points of roach. Yes, we are FAR more insane, we are crawling out of the woodwork, and we are coming for YOU! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!]
do not begrudge us who had the foresight to see the holes in the ship early on. Do not begrudge us for acting early. Do not begrudge those who had hope and now choose to leave with what little they have left. . . . Don't begrudge us. We don't begrudge you for staying. We worry about you. . . . So, don't begrudge us.
[Do NOT begrudge DUmmie 6502, who apparently multiple personalities, perhaps as many as 6,502.]
DU is the echo chamber that magnifies the negatives.
[DU is the wacko chamber that magnetizes the nutcases.]
Your prediction that an Obama re-election (right now about a 50-50 shot) will somehow turn the country around is so demented, I wonder if you're a mole. . . . He is weak, "centrist" (meaning far to the right of Ronald Reagan), and completely incapable of leading people to do anything except show up at the polls.
[DUmmie Doctor J thinks Obama is "far to the right of Ronald Reagan." And DUmmie Doctor J calls OTHER people demented!]
People don't live for thousands of years.
[You wanna bet?]
We tried to emigrate to Canada...They told us... in a polite, Canadian manner... that we were too old and that all we'd do is be a burden to their health care system.
[Wha-WHAAA??? Kind, compassionate Canada?? The socialist health-care utopia?? I don't believe it! Next you'll tell us that their taxes are higher!]
Looking at it from the Canadian perspective, I wouldn't let us in, either.
[No health care for you!]
I have had the emigration bug at many moments in this past year.
[I think you're confusing that with the clap.]
You could resettle Detroit. Seriously.
[Michael Moore could resettle an entire city block.]
Emigrate to California, Oregon and Washington for starters. . . .
[Keep going. Go west, young DUmmie! About another 50 miles west.]
We only lack that moment of crystallization- like Neo in the "Matrix" - and then resolving to WALK THE PATH!
[WALK THE PATH! WEAR THE BEAR! NEO-CRYSTALLIZE THE MOMENT!]
Finland tempts me. But I'd just hate to be "that guy" who makes everyone speak English, because I'm too old and slow to figure out that bird chirp-chirpy language they have.
[NO ONE can understand Finnish. Not even the Finns. Finland tempts you?? It's dark, it's cold, no one can understand what people are saying, everybody's drunk, if they're not drunk they're commiting suicide--no, Finland is not. . . . Well, on second thought. . . .]
My grandson is bi-lingual. . . .
[Well, he's still your grandson. Accept him for who he is.]
Why doesn't anyone mention Venezuela? It is a worker's paradise.
[OK, DUmmie FrodosPet (478 posts), I am calling you out as a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]
Wherever you go .... there you are.
[And THAT, my friends, is the main problem for any DUmmie wanting to find a nice place to live!]
[DUmmie caseymoz, expect a Kewpie Doll to soon be migrating to your mailbox.]
There! :)
DUmmies, please leave... Cuba is nice this time of year. Of course, you might be upset that Castro might be to the right of O.
DUmmies, please leave... Cuba is nice this time of year. Of course, you might be upset that Castro might be to the right of O.
Oh...yeah! Guess they do! :)
WE could get giggles by their exported whines.
Well, when I first started reading this thread, I started to post the obvious...well, just get your happy rear ends out of here and find a country that you find superior to the US and that will let you emigrate.
But as always, you made me laugh. So I think I’ll just start rounding up packing boxes and taking up a collection for u-hauls.
If all the liberals left, what would we do? Besides balance the budget, lower the crime rate at least 90 percent, and just generally be a far more polite nation. Admittedly, you might have to go to 7-11 instead of Starbucks for the coffee for a while, and Broadway would need a season or two to find new people. But we’d pull through somehow.
Cuba should be a paradise for the dummies. Everyone (well except for government officials) gets a generous salary of $25 per month. You’re treated equally. It doesn’t matter if you are a doctor, sweep streets, drive a horse drawn bus or don’t work at all—you get $25 per month and get to share an apartment with other interesting people.
You can learn Spanish while waiting in line for the rice and beans allocated to you by a most equitable rationing system. If you want to supplement your income, you can sell your body on the streets and learn the mysteries of the black market.
You will enjoy free medical care administered by a “physician” with two years of medical training. You can march in parades in support of the revolution (just don’t bring your Che posters).
Just think how wonderful it will be in a land of social justice where everyone (well, almost everyone) earns the same, lives the same and eats the same.
¡Un paraíso tropical!
The problem with their emigration theory (even if they were actually serious), is that pretty much every country prefers immigrants that have valuable skills, and money (ie can contribute to the country, rather than be a drain on it). Since DUmmies have no valuable skills (and they don’t come from 3rd world hell holes), it is unlikely than any country would accept them. Unless of course they have money, and the money people tend to be the ones who leave to protect their assets from the government...hmmmm
All the Venezuelans I know live in Puerto Rico!
I’ve been waiting since Reagan for just one of these asshats to make good on their threat.
I would really, really like to see the faces of the DUmmies who move here to Canada when they discover that we are NOT the socialist utopia they imagine us to be. Then I will sell tickets when Immigration punts them back across the border.
And BTW they will be thoroughly shattered when they discover that Toronto has a conservative mayor.
And ironically, if he moved to Canada he would probably be better off because we have a Conservative government and a lower unemployment rate. I just started a business in Toronto and things are looking up.
Well, for certain, many places where they seldom change them, so it is all good for liberals with their usual hygiene issues............
Well done.
Bravo Charles! Your comments were LOL all the way through.
As a Jersey guy, “u mad bro?” got me!
Definitely a top five!
Got some great laughs.
Has anybody who’s been following DUmmieland for a while ever seen even one of them back up the “threat” of leaving and actually do it, then post how great their new life is in their tolerate anything utopia? I’ve never seen one.
My grandson is bi-lingual. . . .
[Well, he’s still your grandson. Accept him for who he is.]
pure gold
[Is that you, Anthony Weiner?]
You mean barry broke his promise of keeping unemployment under 8% if the stimulus was passed? Who'da thunk it??
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