to be funny, humor always has to have a ring of truth in it... this could be the next press release
Posted on 04/20/2012 10:00:16 PM PDT by John Semmens
President Obama's Press Secretary Jay Carney lashed out at the GOP for “politicizing the upcoming elections.” “They're trying to exploit so-called scandals and policy failures for political gain,” Carney complained.
The scandals referenced by Carney included the sexploits of the Secret Service in Columbia and lavish parties thrown by the General Services Administration (GSA).
“These things aren't the President's fault,” Carney insisted. “Historically, the role of the Secret Service has been to cover up the President's illicit sexual liaisons, not engage in their own. What would've happened to President Kennedy or Clinton if their bodyguards had been as self-serving as those assigned to President Obama?”
“As for the GSA, the biggest scandalous party didn't even cost a million dollars,” Carney pointed out. “It didn't amount to a hill of beans in a budget that's over a trillion dollars in the red. Besides, abusing the expense account is one of the perks of the job. And let's not forget that every dollar spent helps stimulate the economy. So is what they are doing really such a bad thing?”
“Even more absurd is the implication that there have been significant policy failures,” Carney added. “The premise that high unemployment, high gas prices, and high deficits are undesirable is mistaken. These are necessary steps on the path to the social transformation the President promised voters in 2008.”
Carney characterized the “negativity toward the President as disloyalty bordering on treason. It's one thing to run for office. I mean, we wouldn't have much of a democracy if there was only one candidate on the ballot. But tearing down what he's trying to do goes beyond the pro forma requirements of the democratic process.”
In related news, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) urged the President's critics to reconsider. “You know, the President has been so patient and respectful toward these people,” Pelosi contended. “They should remember that it is in his power to have them jailed or even killed if he deems them a threat to the government.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/110208-2012-04-20-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-april-22-2012.htm
Ummm ... isn’t that what elections are all about, Carney ???
There is a fine line between reality and satire in the Obama administration.
Some of the things Carney does say in real life are so ludicrous and unreal they are satirical.
This is truely funnny. Elections are nothing but pure politics.
Like stand-up comedy, the best satire is firmly based in fact - you continue to hit it out of the park John.
Bad bad bad, I almost bit.
Carney characterized the “negativity toward the President as disloyalty bordering on treason.”
***
Now that part may be for real. We are probably all on the Obama enemy list.
Thanks again, John, for the ping.
LOL....excellent! Perhaps your best, yet.
“...disloyalty verging on treason”? Let me see...there is this thing called the Constitution and there is this thing called the Bill of Rights with its “pesky” First Amendment. I guess the faux-professor of the Constitution, nobama, was sleeping through that part of his miseducation. These LIB asshats are hilarous and demand ridicule.
I am laughing.
to be funny, humor always has to have a ring of truth in it... this could be the next press release
Psssst.....this is satire, damn good satire!
Politicizing an election? The horror! The horror!
Just where is my morning coffee?????
LOL...I hear ya! He’s gotten me before, too. This one is especially good. : )
Isn’t this word for word what piglosi just said?!
Bolton: Obama taking credit for killing bin-Laden is like Nixon taking credit for landing on the moon
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.