You Might Be A Paultard If....

The Force | 12/26/11 | Alan Levy

[Absolutely Nobama]

(With all due apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

.....You've memorized Ron Paul's economic platform, but your supervisor doesn't think you're ready to man the shake machine yet.

.....You fail a remedial history class at the local vo-tech when every one of your answers on the final exam is "Ron Paul".

.....Your mother calls down to your basement "apartment" to tell you that dinner is ready and you scream back, "I'll eat when I'm ready, you Zionist pig! What's the matter, don't you believe in freedom ?"

.....You think bong water is an acceptable alternative to aftershave.

.....You like to tell people that you're the product of Screwy Lewy Rockwell and Cindy Sheehan's trysts.

.....Your every sentence begins with "Only Ron Paul...." and "Ron Paul is the only....."

.....Code Pinko kicks you out of a rally for being a wuss.

.....You throw darts at a picture of Abraham Lincoln.

.....Your head spins around and you spit pea soup when you're within five feet of a synagogue.

.....You know what Ron Paul's first words were, but you can't remember where you left that last hit of heroin.

.....You're dumb enough to call Mark Levin's show and start a sentence with "Only Ron Paul..." and "Ron Paul is the only...." (Yes, this rates two mentions! It's as annoying as it is intellectualy lazy!)

.....You think burqas are "VA-VA-VOOM!"

[Larry Lucido]

You might be a paultard if you’re over 22 and haven’t known RP was an idiot for at least the past four years.

[C. Edmund Wright]

...if you go to Starbucks and don’t stand out in any way, shape or manner from the Obama bots.

[Old Sarge]

You forgot only referring to him as "Dr. Paul". Always a dead giveaway.

[Absolutely Nobama]

If you can’t laugh at Cut and Run Paul and his Merry Band of Stoner Cultists, who can you laugh at ?

Ping!

[SunkenCiv]

LOL!

[Absolutely Nobama]

Love it!

[Absolutely Nobama]

That is most definitely true.

If it walks like a duck.....

[C. Edmund Wright]

If you take your auto to the mechanic and start your description of the problem with “...the Federal Reserve....”

[raccoonradio]

>>"Ron Paul is the only...."

One of the biggest cliches in most elections is when the candidate (I know Romney has used it) starts to say, "I'm the only candidate in this race who..." (pick your choice: balanced eight budgets, ran a business, took the no-tax pledge, will have a fully transparent administration, etc.)

[DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis]

I do NOT like Paul, but throwing darts at a pic of Lincoln sounds fun actually....

[C. Edmund Wright]

...if dressing up means putting on your least repugnant tee shirt....

[Absolutely Nobama]

“You forgot only referring to him as ‘Dr. Paul’. Always a dead giveaway.”

Hey, that’s right! Good shot, Sarge!

I know he’s an actual MD (who thinks that AIDS/HIV was cooked up in some government lab in Area 51, FYI), but there’s something creepy about calling him “Dr. Paul”. I dunno why that is, but it just is. I can’t explain it.

[pterional]

You might be a RINOtard if you back Romney or Gingrich.
At least Ron Paul qualified for the Virginia republican primary.

[Absolutely Nobama]

Hey, that ain’t bad either!

[Old Sarge]

there’s something creepy about calling him “Dr. Paul”.

Like Dr. Mengele.

[EternalVigilance]

.....Your copy of the Constitution has the Fourteenth Amendment snipped out of it.

[Absolutely Nobama]

I can’t stand it when ANY of them say it, to be honest. But when a Paultard says it.....like Wolverine’s claws on Glenn Beck’s chalkboard.....

[C. Edmund Wright]

...or you make childish arguments like that one.....

[Old Sarge]

if dressing up means putting on your least repugnant tee shirt