DUmmie FUnnies 11-28-11 ("Occupy San Diego Flash Mob Invades Wal-Mart")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | November 28, 2011 | DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

[Charles Henrickson]

OCCUPY EVERYTHING! ANNOY EVERYONE! That seems to be the motto of the OWSies. And the DUmmies are right with them, at least in spirit, even if the only thing they're occupying is Mom's basement.

So this past Friday, "Black Friday," the OWSies of San Diego decided to "flash mob" Wal-Mart. Load up lots of shopping carts, move to the check-out lines, shout out some DUmb manifesto, then leave the carts there and walk out the store. Turn "Black Friday" into "Block Friday": Block people from checking out. Really effective protest there, OWSies. You are breaking the back of the corporate masters. Well, no, actually, all you are doing is pissing off Mr. and Mrs. Average American and causing the poor Wal-Mart workers extra work to unload your carts and put all the stuff back on the shelves. Good move, comrades.

So let us now go to this THREAD by DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, "Occupy San Diego flash mobs two Walmarts today!" and the accompanying VIDEO, "Occupy San Diego Flash Mob Invades Wal-Mart." The DUmmie Re-Marx are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, hoping some corporate types go and flash mob an Occupy protest, is in the [brackets]:

Occupy San Diego flash mobs two Walmarts today!

[This will do it, I'm SURE!]

Approximately 75 people met up this morning at a transit center with the knowledge of flash mob that will happen and nothing else.

[A bus stop full of flash-mob experts. The mind boggles.]

I was a little apprehensive being that I didn't know how we could incoroprate dancing into the 99% movement, nor having much ability to dance.

[The Dance of the Dense.]

Their idea on the flash mob was that we'd all enter Walmart inconspicuously and shop for 30 minutes, filling up our carts as much as possible.

["Inconspicuously"? Don't you think your gray ponytails and your pierced eyebrows would give you away? No, wait. This is Wal-Mart we're talking about.]

Then we'd meet at the front to check out and the first person to get up to a checker calls asks the cashier to page their child (Michael Check) to the checkstand cause they're ready to leave. . . .

["Michael Check." Oh, you're so clever. I bet you like to page Ben Dover and Mike Hunt.]

MIC CHECK! Citizens of Walmart!! Greetings and welcome back from the food coma!!

[Welcome to the five-minute lane blockage!!]

In the spirit of holiday giving, we believe a discussion is in order about the meaning of value and low cost. For every low-priced product purchased at Walmart, your communities pay the difference. . . .

[Blah, blah, blah. Proceed with long-winded, annoying manifesto.]

WE DO NOT HAVE TO BUY THE SCAM!! WE DO NOT HAVE TO BUY DOLLAR-COLLARS FOR OUR FAMILIES!! WE DO NOT HAVE TO BUY ANY OF THIS!!

[WE DO HAVE TO WAIT AROUND AN ADDITIONAL FIVE MINUTES WHILE MR. HEAD OWSIE READS THIS BORING SCREED!!]

SELF-MADE GIFTS HAVE MORE POWER ANYWAY!!

[ROLL YOUR OWN!! GIVE YOUR LOVED ONES A PACK OF HOMEMADE DOOBIES!!]

Thank you, Exit Safely, and remember to smile...

[Smile, even though you're all pissed off from us making you wait in line longer.]

After that there was applause as we all 75 left our carts and exited the disgusting, big box store.

[Making LOTS of extra work for the already-frazzled Wal-Mart employees.]

We received thumbs ups from employees. . . .

[I don't think those were their thumbs they were holding up.]

claps at the end. . . .

[People were glad you were finally done and they could now get checked out.]

when walking out . . . we walked past shouting, "We are the 99%, YOU are the 99%!"

[We are the Nutty-Nut Percent!]

the mic-check. It was entirely envigorating.

[It was entirely aggravating.]

There was one @sshat that charged past us and screamed "You f***ing socialists!" Yes, a good laugh. . . .

[Yes, it was so FUnnie, because of course we're NOT socialists. We're Communists!]

I am proud to stand in solidarity with Occupy San Diego.

[Thank you, DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, for that inspiring after-action report. Now to your fellow DUmmies . . .]

And me still nursing this dang cold or would have been there to record it... Yes I know excuses and you know what... but don't feel like having this become pneumonia.

[DUmmie nadinbrzezinski has some cockamamie excuse for not being there. Like someone could really get a cold in San Diego. More like Nads wants to sit in her bomb shelter drinking triage milk and posting on the DUmp and going to Conservative Cave to see how she's doing in the race for DUmmie of the Year.]

Good job!

[Know-it-all Nadin approves! As long as she doesn't have to go there in person.]

I wish you woulda been there!! We were looking for someone that could say our message in spanish over the mic check...

[Know-it-all Nadin knows all languages--Spanish, English, Martian, Wal-Martian, you name it. She can misspeak in all of them!]

Wow, and shoppers are repeating along!

[No, Sarah Imadummi, those are just the other OWSies repeating after the Head OWSie.]

I would do this!

[But, Sarah Ibuprofen, what if your right-wing boyfriend who treats you nice objected? Would you choose him or The Cause? BTW, Sarah Ibarruri, you would be my runner-up to nadinbrzezinski for DUmmie of the Year. Good luck to both of you!]

I went to Walmart around 7 p.m. yesterday to 'walk' my mom. She walks the mall every day. . . .

[Walk your mom at a local small business instead. Shorter aisles, true. But just do more reps.]

I knew OWS would use flash mobs!

[Stupid, ineffective, annoying--why, it's a natural!]

So how does one sign up for a flash mob?

[Look in the phone book under "DUmb."]

I've been online following their tweets, facebook posts and message board updates. . . .

[Using your DUmbphone and your laptop that you bought at some disgusting big-box store, I'm sure. Why don't you use a self-made tweeter?]

The one percent don't shop at WALMART...they OWN it. The people buying sh*t at WALMART can't afford to shop elsewhere. . . . I suppose if you want to target the one percent of shoppers, the place to do it is Tiffany's or Needless Markup....

[DUmmie MADem interjects a note of negativity, questioning the effectiveness of the flash mobbers.]

The message was conveyed to the shoppers to inform and educate; while the action hit the 1%'ers bottom line.

[The message conveyed to the shoppers, DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, was that you're a bunch of annoying jerks. And your "action" didn't even make 1% difference to that store's bottom line that day. You weren't going to buy anything there anyway, and you didn't keep anyone else from buying anything, either. All you did was call attention to Wal-Mart's low prices, which is what people want. So . . . FAIL!]

The action only f***ed over the wage slaves. Messing with the workers, creating a mess that they have to clean up, that they are responsible for, isn't helpful to them at all. The One Percent could give a f***. . . . F***ing with the stock to make a stupid point (one that the worker has to clean up) is just anti-worker.

[DUmmie MADem is on a roll. Please continue . . .]

I just can't get behind your logic--at all. Be grateful, we f***ed up the place FOR YOUUUUUU? . . . It didn't affect the bottom line--WALMART workers still had to do their regular work, AND clean up after you. . . . You know how much notice the One Percenters gave this episode? None.

[Alright, DUmmie MADem, I'm going to flip all the cards and go ahead and award you today's Kewpie Doll for your Brief--no, more than Brief--Moment of Mental Clarity®. Congrats!]

Whatever. I have things to do with the rest of my day than debate with someone that can do nothing but project negativity.

[Juneboarder thinks you're such a DUmmie Downer, MADem!]

There ALWAYS has to be at least one crepe-hanger in a DU thread.

[One crepe-hanger for every 99 crap-hangers.]

The bottom line... The bottom line is that this affects Walmarts bottom line.

[Sorry, DUmmie/OWSie Juneboarder, the only thing your butt-in-line did was to piss off the public and pile extra work on the employees. But you feel good about yourselves, like you accomplished something for The Cause, and that's the main thing, right?]

the majority of employees were smiling, giving thumbs up, and clapped when we were done. . . .

[Translation: They were laughing at you, they gave you the middle finger, and they said "Good riddance!" when you left.]

Why not demonstrate a little real brass, and do that sh*t at Tiffany's?

[Brainfart at Tiffany's.]

It's like trashing a Pizza Hut, handing a mop to an employee and saying "You don't need to thank me. The look of on your face is thanks enough. Laters!"

[Hee! Hee!]

Aww, would you like a tissue? A pearl necklace to clutch? An extra pillow for your fainting couch? Non-violent activism requires disruption in the face of recalcitrant elites. Without disruption, all the Occupy movement, and any other political movement is doing is making noise that is easily ignored and laughed at by the corrupt subhuman f***s that control our government and the corporations. So excuuuuuuuuse me when I advocate disrupting the shopping routine for shoppers, making a mess for workers, blocking streets, disrupting services, and being so ambitious as bringing entire economic sectors to a HALT! It's the only way to drive the b*st*rds to make concessions. You have to hit the f***ers where it hurts - in the wallet, by disrupting their revenue streams. If that creates inconveniences, too f***ing bad. I'm willing to break those eggs to make this omelette.

[I hate to break it to you, DUmmie backscatter712, but all you accomplish by doing this stuff is you end up with egg on your face. But, please, keep on doing it! We here at DUmmie FUnnies appreciate the material!]

The One Percent will laugh, laugh, laugh. Their bottom line won't be affected in the slightest. . . . No omelette for you. You won't even get powdered eggs...

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Lesson #324 in how incredibly tone deaf the left is.

[And that's just for November! Looking forward to #325!]

[Condor51]

If that creates inconveniences, too f***ing bad. I'm willing to break those eggs to make this omelette (sic).

If you 'broke those eggs' where I was shopping at DUmmie, I'd be wiling to break your head. Even though that might 'create inconveniences' for you. (commie maggot scum)

[fatboy]

MADem said:The one percent don't shop at WALMART...they OWN it. The people buying sh*t at WALMART can't afford to shop elsewhere. . . . I suppose if you want to target the one percent of shoppers, the place to do it is Tiffany's or Needless Markup....

As the owner of a DUmmy mole account with >500 posts I know a DUmmy mole when I see one MADem.

[pogo101]

Great DUfU.

I agree (logically, not politically) with the DUmmies suggesting Target and other less-lower-economic-level stores than WalMart. What was wrong with the suggestion of Tiffany’s and Nieman Marcus?? (Oh yeah: Because those stores probably would call down a hail of beatings, whereas WalMart probably just sloughs it off if the interruption is brief enough.)

I still am waiting for the first “shut up, get out of my way, I’m just trying to shop” vigilante beatdown by a WalMart customer. (Not exactly HOPING but WAITING.) Who knows?

[denydenydeny]

The action only f***ed over the wage slaves. Messing with the workers, creating a mess that they have to clean up, that they are responsible for, isn't helpful to them at all. The One Percent could give a f***. . . . F***ing with the stock to make a stupid point (one that the worker has to clean up) is just anti-worker.

Exactly. This kind of "activism" screws only with actual working people and accomplishes nothing. It's the political equivalent of those "punking" shows where the "stars" torture some low-wage service employee for the amusement of their audience.

[Charles Henrickson]

PJ, all, please note this THREAD:

D.U. Most Memorable Moments, Posters of Renown???

Oh, this is delicious! A trip down memory lane! BlackBoxBev, Andy, Fitzmas. Good times.

I especially enjoyed these digs at Mr. Pitt:

SidDithers
58. "Karl Rove has been indicted"...
what a mess that was.

madinmaryland
67. Yeah. And the whole "24 business hours" thing from Truthout.

SidDithers
89. "Martha Coakley will win on Tuesday. Bank on it"[/i][/font]

I REALLY enjoy that SidDithers when he gets on the case of Nadin and/or Pitt! Hee! Hee!

PJ, this thread is still building, and it may be a whopper, suitable for your DUFUing, perhaps.

[techcor]

by disrupting their revenue streams

What useless twits! They haven't even been a noticeable pimple in the revenue stream of the 53% yet they think the "1%" will give up an extra million dollars or so a year?
I've tried explaining to liberals that if your main threat is that you are going to sleep outside at night and brave frostbite, robbery, rape, lice and diseases unless people you despise (and despise you back) give you an extra million dollars a year , you are pretty much doomed to failure.
Heck, I might donatae a few bucks just so that they will torture themselves some more.

[lwd]

What’s with the racist black face paint? Minstrel show?

[LibertyRocks]

Make more work for those making minimum wage, or a little above, give them a HUGE headache and also create a huge time delay among stressed out Black Friday bargain hunters??? That’s a great way to get the general public to be considerate of your message... Who are the folks coming up with these ideas? They are either agent provocateurs, or screwed up.

The people involved with, and supporting this behavior think that acting like toddlers and throwing a tantrum is the way to “change the world”? These people need a reality-check something fierce. Not sure how one would go about that exactly... violence doesn’t work. They are trying to provoke violence in order to turn public sentiment towards viewing them as victims.

[ExCTCitizen]

Jeez, I didn’t anyone like those nuts at my local Wal-Mart. But then, I avoided Black Friday shopping.

[ExCTCitizen]

Oops.. I forgot see between didn’t and anyone. Sorry, smart phone is smarter than me.

[ExCTCitizen]

Oops.. I forgot see between didn’t and anyone. Sorry, smart phone is smarter than me.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

I can applaud your efforts to change the world if the end result is what I expect. That being the sheeple see you jerks the same way we do.

[Slings and Arrows]

[Mears]

bfl

[PJ-Comix]

The message was conveyed to the shoppers to inform and educate

Wouldn't that be "re-eductate?" I thought Walmart had secret re-education camps.

[berdie]

Speaking Wal-Martian...

That’s funny, I don’t care who ya are!

[VeniVidiVici]

What’s with the racist black face paint? Minstrel show?

You have to belong to the Democrat Party in order to wear it.

[Choose Ye This Day]

Check Out reggie “I’m too sexy for old, American women” the dog in this HILARIOUS thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x2397945

God’s gift to French women...

[Stegall Tx]

Approximately 75 people met up this morning at a transit center with the knowledge of flash mob that will happen and nothing else.

Perfect description of the OWSies.

[Red Barr]

If the TEA PARTY did what the OWS are doing to the conservatives the news media would not let up in calling the TEA PARTY MEMBERS NAZIS but when the extreme left shouts down a conservative the news media goes mum.

OBAMA OUT 2012