Is early marriage doomed? (Hope so)

A few weeks ago I mentioned the high school graduation of my 17-year-old daughter, Emily. In this post I will mention that, in 11 days, she is getting married. Remember my column about the boy who asked me a question about dating that sparked one of the most responded to WORLDmag.com debates of 2010? Yep, that’s him.

But before you start in, know that the decision to allow this did not come easily.

In February I read an article in The Wall Street Journal written by David Lapp. In it he argued that getting married young has its advantages. Granted, he married at 22 and at time of writing was a tender and understandably defensive 23. But he had some good points: Just because, statistically, marrying later seems to work better, is marrying young necessarily a harbinger of future marital disaster?

No, says University of Texas sociology professor Mark Regnerus, author of Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think about Marrying. Although many young people are bucking the trend of marrying later and later, waiting until they are settled in their careers, have the money to buy a home, or are otherwise “set up” to marry, Regnerus says having life planned out perfectly beforehand doesn’t necessarily lead to a long and fulfilling marriage.

a previous World magazine up-out-of-woodwork wriggler:

http://online.worldmag.com/2011/06/30/explaining-same-sex-marriage-to-kids/

...Because of my Christian worldview, I do not agree with the practice of homosexuality, but I do not expect the government or most of our country or world to share that view. The trick for me right now is how do I explain that to my kids?

My friend Wesley Hill is a celibate homosexual Christian. His book Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality has been formative in helping me understand the struggle of Christians who find themselves wondering what it means that they struggle with a homosexual orientation. I asked him for his thoughts on the legalization of same-sex marriage, and he responded in this way:

“I tend to think the church shouldn’t behave as if its viewpoint on same-sex partnerships resonates, deep down, with everyone . . . because it doesn’t. We tend to think everyone really knows gay sex is wrong, but when we say that, we’re just not listening to gay people well enough about how their (my) orientation is ‘hardwired’ and not ‘chosen.’

“What that means in terms of specific policies, I don’t know. I’m inclined to think that Christians shouldn’t have much of a problem with American governments (state and federal) granting recognition (e.g., ‘civil unions’ at least) to non-Christian same-sex partnerships. . . . Even Focus on the Family is admitting that conservatives have pretty much ‘lost’ the culture war on this issue. (Wasn’t there a recent interview with a Focus employee in WORLD to that effect?)

“The vast majority of my generation is in favor of gay marriage, and I suspect it’s only a matter of time before it’s made legal across the board. Which should be no cause for despair among more traditional, Bible-believing Christians. As Paul Griffiths says, ‘What the Church ought do . . . is to burnish the practice of marriage by [Christians] until its radiance dazzles the pagan eye.’ Our best apologetic for ‘traditional marriage’ is the beauty of the Christian lives we live. We ought to woo people towards it rather than legislate its acceptance.”

And here’s a World magazine editor’s rebuttal from a week later:
Last Thursday we published a muddled column on same-sex marriage by one of our contributors. In hindsight it was a column we should not have posted. For one that is much better, and better aligns itself with WORLD’s point of view on the subject of homosexuality, we encourage you to read “‘My Eyes Shed Streams of Tears’—Thoughts on the New Calamity.”

John Piper wrote this column for the Desiring God website. Here’s an excerpt:

“My sense is that we do not realize what a calamity is happening around us. The new thing—new for America, and new for history—is not homosexuality. That brokenness has been here since we were all broken in the fall of man. (And there is a great distinction between the orientation and the act—just like there is a great difference between my orientation to pride and the act of boasting.) What’s new is not even the celebration of homosexual sin. Homosexual behavior has been exploited, and reveled in, and celebrated in art, for millennia. What’s new is normalization and institutionalization. This is the new calamity.”

http://online.worldmag.com/2011/07/05/the-new-calamity/

I graduated June 16,1961 and married my best friend on June 17,1961 this past June 17,2011 we celebrated #50 !!!

we adopted one child and then had one after 14 years...we have forgotten which one we adopted...they were and are great kids both well educated one still single one married with no kids!!! so we have never become ‘gram and pap’ but that is OK with us...considering today climate of young folks...both are professionals with happy lives...we've been BLESSED...

Hubby is still my best friend, we are retired and living quiet happy lives in the country...I miss the city he doesn't so that is OK.

Tell your kid...to LOVE passionately, work together and stay friends...you'll too be Blessed.
have a great Sunday everyone.

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