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DUmmie FUnnies 06-23-11 (Alan Grayson posts "Green Lantern" rant for KOmmies)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 23, 2011 | Alan Grayson, KOmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 06/22/2011 11:51:00 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

Fatter than a pile of bullsh*t . . .
More powerful than a loco moonbat . . .
Able to heap all bad things in a single Bush . . .

Look! Up on the screen!
It's a blog! It's a prog!
No, it's . . . GRAY RANTER!

Yes, GRAY RANTER, strange visitor to the Daily KOs, who comes to KOmmieland with powers of insanity far beyond those of moron man, and who, disguised as Alan "Dick" Grayson, ill-mannered one-term representative from Outlandish, Florida, fights a never-ending battle for speaking TRUTH to POWER in an EMBARRASSING WAY!

That's right, folks, defeated proggie icon Alan Grayson has just posted a stupid leftist rant (redundant, I know) over in KOmmieland, in this THREAD, "Green Lantern." Grayson hops on the current Green Lantern movie to haul out a bit of obscure dialogue from a Green Lantern comic book from 40 years ago, in order to launch into a political rant against Rethuglicans. Grayson must also be the Elongated Man, because that's quite a stretch.

Grayson uses the comic book dialogue to get into his political rant, but the FUnnie thing is, most of the KOmmie KOmmenters then spend their time talking about all sorts of Green Lantern minutiae INSTEAD OF Grayson's political point! Grayson was looking for responses from Thoughtful Progressive Person, but instead he got Comic Book Guy! Hee! Hee!

So let us now join GRAY RANTER and the KOmic Book KOmmies, today in Green Lantern Green, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--wondering if GRAY RANTER needs a sidekick, another ex-congressman who likes to wear tights and a cape--is in the [brackets]:

Green Lantern
by Alan Grayson

[GRAY RANTER
by Alan "Dick" Grayson]

The movie Green Lantern opened on Friday, to mixed reviews.

[The moonbat Alan Grayson lost in November, to sighs of relief.]

Maybe the reviews would have been better if the movie had included this powerful exchange, from Green Lantern #76:

African-American Man: I’ve been readin’ about you . . . How you work for the blue skins . . . and how on a planet someplace you helped out the orange skins . . . and you done considerable for the purple skins! Only there’s skins you never bother with – the black skins! I want to know . . . how come?! Answer me that, Mr. Green Lantern!

Green Lantern: I . . . can’t . . . .

[Grayson quotes a piece of dialogue from a Green Lantern comic book from 1970, the first issue in the "new direction." Under a new head writer, Green Lantern got "social relevance," and thus became boring and pedantic. DC goes PC. But little Alan, an 11-year-old insufferable brat at the time, probably thought it was cool.]

I may never have the chance to talk to George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, or any of the other Masters of the Universe who led and misled our country for eight long years. Nor may I ever have the chance to speak to Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, or any of the other savage right-wing loons who want to finish the job that Bush et al. started. But if I could, I might say:

Me: I’ve been readin’ about you . . . How you work for multinational corporations like Big Oil. . . . And how you say you built all those roads and schools and bridges in some country in Asia. And in some other country in the Middle East someplace you got rid of some dictator. Only there’s one country you never bother with – America! I want to know . . . how come?! Answer me that, Mr. Flag-Waiving Patriot!

Them: I . . . can’t . . . .

[Notice how GRAY RANTER spells "Flag-Waving" as "Flag-Waiving," thus revealing his true colors.]

For a generation now, we have seen the heartless, callous erosion and destruction of all the things that make you a member of the middle class in America:

A job.

A home.

A car.

The chance to see a doctor when you are sick.

A pension or retirement account.

Social Security and Medicare.

[Hey, GRAY RANTER, maybe you should take on THE CHOKER, aka BIG GOVERNMENT, the real DC villain who taxes and spends half our money, drives jobs away, and loads heavy burdens on our backs. Whose side are you on, anyway?]

And we’ve seen them replaced by endless war, falling home values, no pensions, lower wages, and now what Karl Marx called a “reserve army of the unemployed” – to keep wages down forever.

[Like the Karl Marx quote there, GRAY RANTER. Nice touch. We see where you're coming from.]

Even after only two years in office, as one out of 435 in the House, I can point to a lot of things that I did to . . .

[. . . embarrass myself and my party to no end, which led to our humiliating defeat last November.]

I look at our so-called leaders on the other side of the aisle, and I see nothing like that. Only a perverse delight in eliminating programs that help my fellow Americans in need.

[FRANKly, I think the Democrats have cornered the market on perverse delight.]

The next time you see one of them -- at a town hall meeting, in their plush offices, or just on the street – ask them this: “What have you done to help the people? Answer me that!”

If they’re honest, they’ll say what Green Lantern said: “I can’t.”

In brightest day,
In blackest night,
No evil shall escape my sight.
Let those who worship evil’s might,
Beware my power: Green Lantern’s Light.

[Come, KOmmie Kid
And DUmmie Ant,
For social justice we must chant!
Let those who answer that they can't
Beware my power: Gray Ranter's rant!]

[Thank you, GRAY RANTER. Now let's see how well the point of your article registered with Thoughtful Progressive Person . . .]

The best Green Lantern was in the animated Justice League. Hawkgirl was also awesome.

[Uh, I'm not sure that's exactly the POINT. . . .]

Hal Jordan is the best Green Lantern. No one else comes close.

[Jordan RULES!]

Alan Scott for me! The very FIRST Green Lantern. . . .

[What about Alan Grayson? He's the Gray Ranter, you know.]

Gotta say I'm a big fan of The Tick. . . .

[What about The Dick, Alan "Dick" Grayson?]

That being said, I must admit that I was unimpressed by the preview I saw of "Green Lantern" a couple of weeks ago. The trailer for "Captain America," OTOH, looked really cool.

[Alan Grayson is more impressed by Capitan Venezuela.]

John *is* the best Green Lantern but he was best in Mosaic, not in JLA (or the current comics). I'll take John the architect over John the Marine any day.

[What was Grayson saying in his post . . . back there . . . somewhere. . . ?]

That's the Green Lantern named John Stewart (oddly enough), and he wasn't just on TV. He's one of four (maybe five, if you count the cetacean from an alternate future--or six, if you count the Golden Age...sheesh, it's complicated) Green Lanterns from Earth. The others are Hal Jordan (whom Ryan Reynolds fails to portray accurately or adequately in the movie), Guy Gardner and Kyle Raynor. I'm a fan from way back, even before the original Crisis. And I've always thought the John Stewart Green Lantern was the baddest of GL bad-asses. Next movie (as if!), they should give the ring to him.

[Comic Book Guy has arrived.]

i honestly didnt care much for green latern until i saw justice league and that character, much like sisko I always seem to like the "black" versions of a popular character.

[Once you've had black. . . .]

Mr. Grayson. Come to Indiana, there are some way-under-cover progressives here (we need your outstanding honesty and courage to speak the truth). Perhaps there will be a future opportunity to vote for you (sigh).

[Speak truth to power in Indiana, Alan! Grayson for mayor of Gary!]

I might still have a copy of that issue from the Neal Adams period. I'll have to check.

[We're back to the comic book again.]

Oh noes.... Tipped and rec'd, of course, but..........I hate to see a quote from Karl Marx, here, in an otherwise slam dunk campaign letter from a slam dunk guy. Alan Grayson does NOT need this kind of "help".

[That'll leave some Marx.]

Eventually supplanted by Kyle Raynor. The GL who can acknowledge his own fear, and therefore helps to reboot the Corps when a Parallax possessed Hal Jordan destroys Oa. This leads directly into the Lantern Wars, where Hal Jordan elects to become the White Lantern powered by Life rather than Willpower, and the most absolutist Human GL (whose name eludes me) becomes a Red Lantern powered by Rage (much like Sinestro before him, when his authoritarian streak overpowers him, he betrays the GL philosophy entirely). I believe Kyle is then a Green after that point, and John Stewart becomes a Blue Lantern (powered by Hope, I sh*t you not).

[I sh*t you not!]

No, no, NO! Hal Jordan became infected by Paralax, the yellow light of fear and destroyed the Green Lantern Corps. Kyle Rayner became the new and, for a while, last Green Lantern. Then he rebooted the GL Corps and Hal Jordan returned to life after The Spectre possessed him to purge his soul of Paralax. Then came the Sinestro Corp war, where Sinestro created a counter-corps to the GL Corps based on the yellow light of fear. Hal Jordan briefly possessed a yellow ring of fear during this time. Then came Blackest Night/the War of Light, where in addition to the green and yellow corps, the red corps of rage, orange corps or green, blue corps or hope, indigo corps of compassion and violent corps of love all rose up. As well as the Black corps of death, powered by the force of death itself. Hal Jordan and Sinestro both briefly possessed the white light of life, but relinquished it because they couldn't handle it. Kyle Rayner also became infected by Paralax, like Hal did. Guy Gardner, the 3rd Green lantern, was forced to wear a Red Ring, which controls Rage. But he was eventually purged of the red ring on the planet Mogo, which is a living planet and also a member of the Green Lantern Corps. After THAT, the War of the Green Lanterns occurred (and it ongoing right now). A fallen Gaurdian named Krona infected the entire GL Corps with yellow light, and only Hal, Kyle, Guy and John Stewart, as well as Ganthet, a former Guardian himself, were able to avoid the yellow light, since they'd all previously experienced it and built up a defense against it. Because of this, they couldn't use their rings, so they took on other power rights. Hal once again has taken on the yellow ring. Kyle is the blue ring of hope. Guy is back to the red ring of rage and John is the indigo ring of compassion. I think as of the most recent issue, they managed to purge the green central power battery of the yellow infection and have restored most of the GL Corps to it's sanity. AND THAT'S WHERE THINGS STAND RIGHT NOW.

[AND THAT'S WHERE THINGS STAND RIGHT NOW, ALAN! Aren't you GLAD you posted your thoughtful rant against Republicans here in KOmmieland? Really worked, didn't it, Gray Ranter?]



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: comicbooks; comics; dailykos; dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; greenlantern; kommies; kos
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1 posted on 06/22/2011 11:51:05 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
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To: Charles Henrickson

I always thought Grayson WAS a pile of bullsh!t!!


2 posted on 06/22/2011 11:53:43 PM PDT by SoldierDad (Proud dad of an Army Soldier currently deployed in the Valley of Death, Afghanistan)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Oooohhh! In before 10.


3 posted on 06/22/2011 11:54:25 PM PDT by berdie (qill)
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...
Late-night PING!

And then to bed, and I'll see you in the morning!

4 posted on 06/22/2011 11:54:49 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The GRAY RANTER: Secret identity, Alan "Dick" Grayson.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
TOP 10, beeeeyotches!!!


5 posted on 06/23/2011 12:09:25 AM PDT by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle ("If you're not fiscally AND socially conservative, you're not conservative!" - Jim Robinson, 9-1-10)
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To: KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle


6 posted on 06/23/2011 12:12:16 AM PDT by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle ("If you're not fiscally AND socially conservative, you're not conservative!" - Jim Robinson, 9-1-10)
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To: Charles Henrickson
And we've seen them replaced by endless war, falling home values, no pensions, lower wages, and now what Karl Marx called a “reserve army of the unemployed” – to keep wages down forever.

Hey- that's what the marxist libtards like grayson do when they advocate letting millions of illegal aliens flood the country unabated.. Looks like the marxist idiots have a conflict with their ideology.. And they're too stupid to realize how absurd they are.

7 posted on 06/23/2011 12:13:44 AM PDT by DirtyHarryY2K (The Tree of Liberty is long overdue for its natural manure)
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To: DirtyHarryY2K

top ten


8 posted on 06/23/2011 12:22:03 AM PDT by CONSERVE
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To: Charles Henrickson

I never could get into Green Lantern when I was a kid.

To paraphrase Kuthrapali (sp) on Big Bang Theory: Green Lantern was helpless again wood and the color yellow... you could take him out with a #2 pencil.


9 posted on 06/23/2011 3:07:48 AM PDT by hattend (Let's all meet Sarah at her last bus stop -- 1600 Pennsylvania Ave in Jan 2013)
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To: hattend

again = against

sheesh


10 posted on 06/23/2011 3:09:25 AM PDT by hattend (Let's all meet Sarah at her last bus stop -- 1600 Pennsylvania Ave in Jan 2013)
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To: Charles Henrickson

11 posted on 06/23/2011 4:05:47 AM PDT by COBOL2Java (Obama is the least qualified guy in whatever room he walks into.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Isn’t there a psychological condition for people who envision themselves as superheros that need to rescue the world? I’m sure he’s not the only Congressman to suffer from the condition.


12 posted on 06/23/2011 4:11:42 AM PDT by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

OMG - Looks at that goatee! He's gone "AlGore" CRAZY!!!

13 posted on 06/23/2011 5:06:07 AM PDT by Caipirabob ( Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: Caipirabob

“He’s gone” But not forgotten. No one can forget that kind of crazy. How about letting him run the DNC?


14 posted on 06/23/2011 5:15:30 AM PDT by listenhillary (Social Justice is the epitome of injustice.)
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To: Caipirabob
OMG - Looks at that goatee! He's gone "AlGore" CRAZY!!!

I thought he might be trying to look like Zed in MIB...


15 posted on 06/23/2011 5:20:05 AM PDT by COBOL2Java (Obama is the least qualified guy in whatever room he walks into.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Separated at birth??

16 posted on 06/23/2011 5:22:39 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (zero hates Texas and we hate him back. He ain't my president either.)
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To: COBOL2Java


Shatner's "Priceline Evil Twin"?

17 posted on 06/23/2011 5:26:16 AM PDT by pogo101
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To: DirtyHarryY2K
Looks like the marxist idiots have a conflict with their ideology.. And they're too stupid to realize how absurd they are.

The thing about progressivism, leftism (I refuse to call it liberalism. True classical liberalism is now called conservatism), is that it is inconsistent. It has to be, as it does not match with reality. So when, the universe strikes a liberal, who can never admit he was wrong, he has to come up with an explanation. But it does not have to match what he said before.

18 posted on 06/23/2011 6:07:42 AM PDT by chesley (Eat what you want, and die like a man.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Any word on whether the Green Lantern will be running for Congress again in 2012.


19 posted on 06/23/2011 6:43:52 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top 20!


20 posted on 06/23/2011 7:03:02 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (Anyone who says we need illegals to do the jobs Americans won't do has never watched "Dirty Jobs.")
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