Departing Aide Declares Obama ‘Greatest Leader this Country Has Ever Had’

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 2 October 2010 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

In a tearful departing statement, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel said he regrets having to leave the side of “the greatest leader to have ever served this nation in its most trying of times.” Anticipating objections from those who might be tempted to label Washington at Valley Forge or Lincoln’s battle to preserve the union more trying circumstances, Emanuel pointed out that “both were white men living in a white man’s world.

Neither had to face the unending barrage of racist criticism that President Obama has had to face.”

Emanuel added that “it is President Obama’s greatness that makes it feasible for me to take on other duties. While it has been gratifying for me to bask in the reflected glow of his awesomeness, I cannot allow the needs of the citizens of Chicago to be neglected now that Mayor Daley is stepping down from his lifetime tenure.”

The one-time resident of Chicago announced that he will assume the role of Mayor of Chicago as soon as the esidency ordinance has been revised to declare him eligible.

[McBuff]

You see. . .the key to a good spoof is that it opaquely reflects the truth. . .in this case, however, the spoof falls apart because it is a too crystal clear reflection. . .the scenario you posed is too probable and therefore, unspoofable. The real spoof has been on us since November of 08.

[Bellagio]

“Irritated by a rising tide of criticism of current government policies, Senator Max Baucus (D-Mont) has asked the Internal Revenue Service to investigate organizations for what he termed “unwelcome political activity.”

“These critics have crossed the line,” Baucus contended. “Just because they stop short of saying ‘don’t vote for candidate X’ shouldn’t let them off the hook. The American voter isn’t totally stupid. If he’s told that a policy is bad and that candidate X voted for that policy he can connect the dots and vote accordingly.”

Baucus admitted that he was “a little uncomfortable setting the dogs of the IRS on anyone. Getting audited by those guys is pure Hell. But sometimes you’ve got to get tough when people step out of line. Maybe if we make an example of a few of them the rest will get the message and learn to restrain their comments.”

Is this guy EX-KGB??

[ThomasThomas]

I can not believe this for one second. To limit this mans greats to just a few centuries and not to Across Millennia. They must be mad for having to leave.

[EGPWS]

Although this is semi-semi-satire, this is exactly Emanuel's thinking.

Put into the hands of a far left liberal, the "semi-semi-satire" would be twisted and force fed as biblical truth.

Rahm is a far left liberal.

[screaminsunshine]

Obama is the Greatest. That is why I am deserting the ship.

[ASOC]

You forgot to add the (double bag / hurl Alert) to the title.....

[Terry Mross]

Islamabama turns his back on Israel.

The Jews in Florida support him.

Rahm, supposedly a Jew, calls him great.

I’m becoming more and more convinced we need an intelligence test before people can vote.

[cubreporter]

in his drreams maybe...

[Vendome]

Sieg Heil!

[angcat]

They are called self loathing Jews. There is an explanation for this but I cannot think of it right now.

[grania]

Anticipating objections from those who might be tempted to label Washington at Valley Forge or Lincoln’s battle to preserve the union more trying circumstances, Emanuel pointed out that “both were white men living in a white man’s world.

This "we're picking on Obama because he's black" BS is seriously setting back race relations. People aren't going to want minorities in positions of power, as leaders, or as role models in entertainment and sports if they scream "racism" everytime they're criticized. In all of these fields, the criticisms I seen of blacks (the Obamas, LeBron, Steele, that guy who insulted Taylor Swift,) have been justified and long overdue. If anything, society has been too slow to hold minorities to the same standard as everyone else.

Maybe that's the silver lining of this whole thing....those days are so over. Someone takes the job, they take the heat.

[TChad]

Dead fish talking.

[EGPWS]

Obama is the Greatest.

Even his wife understands.

[EGPWS]

I’m becoming more and more convinced we need an intelligence test before people can vote.

You would be surprised I bet just how effective term limits would be in increasing the average I.Q. of the American voter.

[EGPWS]

There is not a shred of doubt that obama is the worst president in history.

The lack of doubt comes from every direction.

[alecqss]

I’m sure that statement very much depends on what meaning of the words “greatest”, “leader” is and most of all “country” are.

[Cvengr]

“both were white men living in a white man’s world. "

Since Obama is neither white, nor black, he must really have a great time playing both sides in a black and white mans' world.

[higgmeister]

Haven’t we been around long enough for this not to be a problem? It’s not as if this is your first step down the gangplank. ;^)

[skeeter]

I’ve been posting without reading the entire article for years now and am not about to stop...

[higgmeister]

lol I know, he still gets me too but that’s part of the fun!