Posted on 07/28/2010 5:41:48 PM PDT by Kimmers
50 Things a Man Should Be Able To Do Friday, July 23, 2010, 8:00 AM Joe Carter
[Note: Every Friday on First Thoughts we host a discussion about some aspect of pop culture. Today’s theme is "Renaissance Man" lists. Have a suggestion for a topic? Send them to me at jcarter@firstthings.com.]
Every man does not need to know how to tie a bow tie. Let’s get that clear up front. I don’t know why it is on every “Things a Man Should Know How to Do” list but it’s simply not true. If you have a reason to wear a bow tie (e.g., you’re going to prom, your name is George Will) then you can ask someone or you can look it up. That’s what Google and preppie college Republican exist.
But there are some things that every man should be able to do. Here are fifty. Not necessarily the fifty most important (though some are), just fifty things a man should be able to do if he wants to live a good life.
1. Forgive your parents – They did the best they could . . . or they didn’t. Either way, you’re a man now so it’s time to move on.
2. Ask your parents to forgive you—You know what you did. They do too.
3. Change a diaper so that the baby is cleaner and you are no dirtier than when you started.
4. Perform CPR and the Heimlich maneuver.
5. Use a soldering iron to fix a loose connection.
6. Comfort a child—If you want to judge the character of a man, observe how he treats a child. He may not have any himself—he may not even like kids—but if he can provide them comfort when they are scared or hurting then he can’t be all bad.
7. Cook one signature dish.
8. Calculate square footage—Width x length.
9. Innocently flirt with a woman at least twice your age—Without causing offense or being disrespectful, of course.
10. Write three coherent, connected, and grammatically correct paragraphs—If it’s really necessary, you should be able to repeat the process well enough to add three more. Unless you have a job that requires extensive writing, that’s probably all you’ll ever need to get by.
11. Navigate your way around an unfamiliar city without getting completely and utterly lost.
12. Differentiate between various types of mortgages and insurances and know which one is best for your situation.
13. Get a prostate exam without crying.
14. Know what a prostate is.
15. Make and follow a budget so that you can get out of—and stay out of—debt.
16. Tell a spellbinding (though not necessarily true) story.
17. Survive in water for at least a few minutes without drowning– 71 percent of the earth’s surface is covered by water. You’re bound to fall into it sometime.
18. Know the four lifesaving steps—stop the bleeding, start the breathing, protect the wound, treat for shock.
19. Give a great compliment—Tip: Be specific, be sincere.
20. Tell a joke that is (a) clean, and (b) funny.
21. Make a brief, informative speech in public without having an anxiety attack and/or using PowerPoint.
22. Type with more than two fingers.
23. Know how to use the mass transit system in any city within 100 miles of his home.
24. Use reference materials to find out any information that you’ll ever need to know.
25. Recite the Ten Commandments from memory—If you remember them, it’s easier to follow them; if you follow them you’ll avoid about 90 percent of the self-inflicted damage that will screw up your life.
26. Carry on a conversation with someone who bores you to tears.
27. Recognize when you are boring someone to tears with your inane banter.
28. Make a plan for the first 24 hours after a zombie apocalypse—Sounds silly but you’d be surprised how much you can learn about yourself by thinking through unlikely scenarios.
29. Perfectly cook scrambled eggs.
30. Push-start a car with a manual transmission—By the way, as I learned in the summer of 1988, you can’t push start a car with an automatic transmission. (I still don’t know why I was stomping on the brake as if it were a clutch.)
31. Tell the difference between snark and wit.
32. Properly maintain your basic form of transportation, whether it be a car, bike, horse, feet, etc.
33. Grow food—even if you never owned a vegetable garden, you need to understand the basic theory of how to grow food. When the zombie apocalypse happens, you’re going to be hungry.
34. Make it through the rest of your life without saying the thirty-seventh dumbest sentence in the English language: “I have to learn for myself.”
35. Endure an insult with grace.
36. Wash a load of white clothes without turning everything pink.
37. Load, shoot, and clean a firearm.
38. Admit being wrong in a situation that will cost you dearly.
39. Physically protect your loved ones and be willing to risk life and limb if necessary to keep them safe.
40. Lead your family in prayer.
41. Cogently explain and defend your most fundamental beliefs, preferably without raising your voice.
42. Hug another man.
43. Take harsh criticism without being defensive.
44. Differentiate between love and lust—and avoid the latter.
45. Recognize wisdom and know how to get it.
46. Help someone who is vomiting (without throwing up yourself).
47. Write a letter of recommendation.
48. Write a love letter.
49. Avoid the Three A’s That Ruin Your Life: Anger, Adultery, Apathy.
50. Be able to list at least 50 more things a man should be able to do.
That was good.
A bit serious for this thread, but really good.
Your parents gave you the chance to be whatever you are, because they gave you the chance to be.
I suck at that whole “write a sonnet” thing. But I’m still looking down at the grass, rather than up, so maybe I can learn. :-)
If only they knew what I would become? LOL
I thought the same thing. Use mass transit? Hug another man? Type with more than two fingers?
C’mon!
When a guy can maintain his own car, truck, cycle, boat AND snowmobile, he doesn’t need mass transit.
A hand shake is good enough.
If the guy has to type with more than two fingers, the chick better know to fix the washer and dryer.
Yep.
I fail 17, 23 & 30.
11. Navigate your way around an unfamiliar city without getting completely and utterly lost.
But this is how you find the best dinning establishments. The real skill it finding it again the next time.
Another of my favorites:
Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect.
— Lazarus Long
There aren't any extant.
Rule Number 2: Double Tap!
You got to 42?
I think you need some response for it to be actual flirting. Used to have underage beers in a cemtery, no one complained and the cops wouldn’t get out of their cars to look.
NOT!!!!!!! unless he's choking...this list was written by a women!
Not even your dad or elderly uncle? Sure ya would! :)
I’m a woman but i have a husband and two teenage sons but here’s the way my list would go:
1. Be able to protect and defend the women in your life.
2. Change the oil in a car
3. change a flate tire.
4. know how to fix things...pretty much anything:)
5. don’t get caught crying by your women....unless someone died!
6.Be kind to children, animals and the elderly.
7. Back up your woman.
8. Family first.
9. know how to hunt, clean and cook game.
10. Work hard and get dirty doing it...
anyone care to add more?
Everything else is optional.
Good for you. I have a son and a daughter who are being taught the same things. I don’t differentiate. My daughter is being taught guy stuff so that if she ends up with a pansy, she won’t be be left in a jam.
All those things listed but mostly to be self reliant.
My mother killed herself and my father died shortly after and I ended up being the old guy in the family at the ripe old age of 28. It’s kinda personal. Never hurts to be prepared.
My mom had a ‘60 Falcon that could be push started.
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