Posted on 02/23/2010 7:10:06 AM PST by PJ-Comix
I was reading dating advice for women from men at Cosmo and came across a rather amusing letter to "the guy guru who answers your most pressing sex and love questions." The letter is from a woman who is upset that a guy used a coupon to buy her dinner:
I went out for dinner with this guy, and it was great — we got along well, and there was a definite spark. But when it came time to pay, he pulled out a coupon. I'm hardly a princess, but that totally killed it for me. Am I being too hard on him?
It was unquestionably a boneheaded maneuver on his part, but yes, cutting him loose on that one faux pas sounds extreme. There are factors to weigh. For one, how old is the dude? If he's still in school or graduated recently, it could just be that he hasn't dated a lot and was short on funds — the economy isn't exactly booming right now. And to be fair, he didn't ask you to go dutch, so he did still take you out to dinner.
If he's older and financially stable, then you have more reason to be turned off. Any guy with a little experience should know that you don't flash coupons on a first date — you bide your time till the chick is in the bathroom, then feverishly shove it into the waiter's hand! In all seriousness, it could be a sign that he'd turn out to be a cheapskate.
That made me smile. Such is life.
I agree with the majority of the sentiment here.
- One, it says more about a person how they tip their wait staff than what they pay for a meal. If it’s a $50 tab and buy one entree get one free brings it down to $30? If he tips on the $30 he’s a goner. If he tips on the $50 you know he’s a stand up guy.
- If I were in a position to do so it would be interesting to see what would happen in your date’s eyes if you actually had a 3,000 sq ft home and a Mercedes but showed up with a 10 year old Honda and took her back to a one bedroom apartment for drinks. That would be an interesting reality show to me.
- I do agree that tact should have been used. “I have a coupon for this place that I’ve been wanting to try with someone.” before hand is the perfect set up for that.
Not true! It doesn't have anything to do with the money. A very expensive place wouldn't be dealing with coupons anyway. We're most likely talking about a chain restaurant of some kind, nice, but not a 4 star place.
It has to do with the perception of how one comports him or herself under the circumstances of putting one's best foot forward. To me it would be like bad grooming or boorish manners.
And the kicker to me was that this was done without notice at the end of dinner instead of being mentioned at the beginning. Just classless. May not be a deal breaker, all other things considered, just a social faux pas.
I have a curiosity question. Is sales tax calculated before or after the coupons? I'd be willing to bet it's before.
I hear these stories all the time, but I've never figured out how it's done, even when the stores have Double Your Coupon days. I've long managed to get my shaving equipment for free with the money back newspaper coupons, but otherwise it's always one coupon per purchase of each product, isn't it?
Why would you think that? I would consider my date worth my getting nicely dressed my being on a little more formal behavior until we knew each other better. I would expect the same of him.
Ruth’s Chris Staekhouse, very nice and expensive has coupons. Many nice places do. Get over it, it is not about the money it is about the company. The guy should run from her as fast as he can.
Depends on whether the food was good or bad.
If the food was really good, you know she’s going to look for the coupon to take her friends there.
If the food was bad? Who wants to spend(it will seem like) eternity with someone who likes to eat crap?
Whipping a coupon out at the end of the 1st date kind of says to me that I wasn’t worth paying full price
And ... he’d be right.
I’d think the same if he picked me up and didn’t bother cleaning up the inside of his car. Just not a good first impression.
We bought a 37” Visio. That’s the largest that would fit in our TV cabinet. I also picked up a Blue Ray player and have it ready to hook up. The big problem is getting our existing 32” CRT out of the cabinet. A neighbor is coming over this evening to help get it out. We’ll put it on a cardboard sheet and let it sit against the wall until the family comes on Sunday. The darned thing weighs about 150#. Sheesh.
Again, you are unfamiliar with what high-end restaurants take coupons. Yes, we’re talking 4-star places.
See, the problem here is that you’re ASSUMING he’s not already maxing out, spending a generous amount on you AND exercising unusual insight & connections to improve the experience further. Right off the bat you’re assuming the guy is being cheap. You’d rather he blow as much as he can as inefficiently as possible!
If you’re going to micro-manage the _first_ date, getting upset at him for not notifying you of the impending use of a coupon (never mind the nice meal, environment, and companionship) then I’d advise him find another who appreciates being treated well without being critical of how (so long, of course, he’s discrete and moral about it).
I like your answer!
Let the suckers pay full price. If I were single (married 15 years next month), I’d rather have a man who knows how to economize than one who’s living on plastic just to make himself look good :) I’m a Dave Ramsey kind of gal myself, LOL.
Better analogy: you'd think the same if he hadn't had the inside of the car steam-cleaned by a premium detailing shop - even though he achieved the same results cheaper by doing it himself.
If "spending money" is your major measure of a man, I pity the man measured.
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Connecticut Department of Revenue Q. If my customer uses a coupon when making a purchase; do I charge sales tax on the price before or after subtracting the coupon? A. Sales and use taxes must be calculated on the sales price after all price reductions taken at the time of sale, including deduction taken because a coupon is presented by the buyer. (Partial answer) |
Good point.
In the age of “plastic”, anyone can do fancy.
It’s the guy who can do fancy, cash, cheap that warrants following up with.
I know a lady who will at times go on a plastic-driven spending spree just to prove to herself she can. Of course she can, anyone can. I pity the man who pays that bill.
Not everyone is made out of money. Would you rather that he take you to a fairly nice restaurant and use a coupon that cuts a $60 bill to $30, or would you rather he just spend $30 straight up by taking you to KFC?
What’s the priority here, the person you’re dating or his pocketbook?
Agreed, My wife still brags about how clean my truck was on our first date.
Yeah Hennie, he was a typical democrat slug most likely ... votes for “D” not candidates.
FWIW Ruth’s Chris IS a chain restaurant. More upscale than Caraba’s or Outback, but still a chain. That however, is not the point.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with an inexpensive first date, a picnic could be a nice first date as would the local diner. And there’s nothing wrong with coupons.
I’m only saying save the coupons for later or make it part of the experience from the beginning (”Would you like to try this place with me? I got some coupons, heard the food was good and thought it might be fun to try.....”) I’ll stick to my opinion on this, tacky for a first date, the way it was presented.
Thank you! I guess part of my research will be going to the KS dept of revenue and see. Or maybe I can just look at a grocery receipt. Gee that was easy!
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