Posted on 10/09/2008 7:24:19 PM PDT by BuckeyeTexan
I consider myself a loyal conservative. I give money. I make an extra effort for the cause. I try to convert liberals. I argue with them on the major points. Heck, I even answered Rush Limbaugh’s call back in March and voted for Hillary here in the Texas Two-Step! But I’m telling you, they may find me passed out in the bathtub with an empty bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup come 7:00 pm, November 4th.
My spouse has these two employees with whom we occasionally socialize outside of work. They’re hard-core liberals. They know I’m a conservative. We take every opportunity we can to give each other grief in a light-hearted, friendly way. I have received countless e-mails from them over the past four years attacking Bush and calling my values the “decline of humanity.” I defend what I can and condemn what I can’t. (Such as Congressional spending …)
They just about fell over when I told them that I was voting for Hillary in the primaries. They literally spit their drinks at me in shock when I announced that I had been elected as a Clinton delegate to the Senatorial district caucus. (How that came about is a story for another time, but trust me, it was a thing of beauty.) They gave me no end of grief about “finally seeing the error of my ways.”
So, last week I e-mailed them the infamous Burning Down The House video about the financial crisis. You would have thought that I had personally taken a baseball bat to their heads and spat a big, yellow loogie on the Big Dawg himself. I literally feared that they were going to take up the issue with Human Resources at work. The headline would have been: Boss’s Wife Threatens To Set Employees On Fire!
Luckily, they cooled off after a few hours. Needless to say, there was a lot of chocolate milk consumed during those few, tense hours. Now I know how JFK felt during the Cuban Missile Crisis.
I don’t even try to enlighten them about Obama anymore. One of them called me a liar to my face when I told him that Obama hadn’t actually voted on the Iraq War. (He wasn’t a member of the U.S. Senate until 2005 ... Shhhh!) What can you do? Nothing, I’ve decided.
After all my hard work, after bottles upon bottles of Hershey’s syrup, today I found out that one of them isn’t even registered to vote! Never has been. The other one is registered, but has never voted. Not. Even. For. Bill.
I thought briefly about sending them the new stick figure cartoon. It’s simple enough for any knit-wit to understand, although it does have a few F-Bombs near the end.
I thought better of it. I’m nearly out of milk tonight. I may have to take a swig or two directly from the Hershey’s syrup bottle. It’s a good thing they don’t give breathalyzers for chocolate milk. I’d loose my license for driving under the influence. Wouldn’t that be a headline? Conservative Arrested, 0.05% Blood-Chocolate Level, Blames Liberal Friends!
Some days, there just isn’t enough chocolate milk to get me through this election.
Try Ovaltine. You get a secret decoder ring.
Sssssh. Don’t even remind libs that they’re not registered.
you might get harrassemnt charges. take care
Reminds me of an encounter I had with a demoncrat. ‘It’s Bush’s fault because how couldn’t he have known about this banking mess?’ Me- Do you know who Barney Frank is? Demoncrat- No. Me- Do you know who Herbert Moses is? Demoncrat- No. Me- Do you know what ACORN is? Demoncrat- No. Me- Do you know what CRA stands for? Demoncrat- No. Me-Do you know why 1977 and 1994 is important to the current financial mess? Demoncrat- No. Me- Ever hear of Christopher Dodd? Demoncrat- No.
There’s no reasoning with these buffoons.
You are an example of the differences between Conservatives and Liberals.
Liberals throw their lies at Conservatives and we brush it off like a little annoying dandruff.
Conservatives throw truth at Liberals and their heads nearly explode.
Then you find those holier-than-thou- lefties don’t even vote. Har, har.
I’ve been craving chocolate too tonight. No more 600 point nose dives in the market please.
Oooo! Me! Me! I know! I know!
1977 - Jimmy Carter was President, right? 1994 - Bill Clinton was President, right?
Coincidence? I think not.
I want to know why I can’t find chocolate syrup in a can any longer. It seemes to have disappeared from the shelves in the last 6 months.
> I want to know why I can’t find chocolate syrup in a can any longer. It seemes to have disappeared from the shelves in the last 6 months.
The tin is being redirected to tin-foil hat production to prepare for the upcoming media blitz prior to the election.
Make yourself a nice refreshing Egg Cream.
It will take the edge off, and you’ll be drinking less milk in case you’re Lactose intolerant.
Or just polish off a box of Mallomars in one sitting and say the hell with it.
It definitely tastes better in a can. And that is why I bought it all up and store it under lock and key. When every things falls apart I will barter it for gold, silver and lead. I know how women need their chocolate on a monthly basis and men like their peace.
Chocolate is far more valuable than gold. Let’s not get crazy. :)
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