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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: rottndog

Yahbut...in a few weeks, I’ll have enough for both of us and then some! :o])


2,141 posted on 02/26/2008 4:57:42 PM PST by Monkey Face (He's so lazy he put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.)
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To: rottndog; Monkey Face
"I’ve seen enough rain, cold and clouds to last at least the next 10 years. I’m ready for sunshine!"


2,139 posted on 02/26/2008 7:55:30 PM EST by Monkey Face
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: Monkey Face

"I’d loan you some of mine, if I could." -- rottndog


Don't try to muscle in on my business, Buster!

2,142 posted on 02/26/2008 5:02:15 PM PST by NicknamedBob (Tired of the hype about Hope? ... Just wait. When Obama is elected, all "hope" will be gone.)
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To: NicknamedBob; rottndog; Tax-chick; Harmless Teddy Bear; sionnsar

LOL!

I’m outta here for the night.
My bed is yelling at me!


2,143 posted on 02/26/2008 5:05:54 PM PST by Monkey Face (He's so lazy he put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.)
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To: Monkey Face; NicknamedBob; rottndog; Harmless Teddy Bear

Here a pet-funny: A few minutes ago, I was practicing a new song we’re going to do next Sunday, and when I got through a couple of verses and the chorus, I was a full tone flat. Wednesday came out from under the table, put her paw on my knee, and said, “Quark! Yeep rowr? Guack!”


2,144 posted on 02/26/2008 5:10:27 PM PST by Tax-chick (If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
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To: Tax-chick
“Quark! Yeep rowr? Guack!”

And who can argue with that?

2,145 posted on 02/26/2008 5:19:45 PM PST by NicknamedBob (Tired of the hype about Hope? ... Just wait. When Obama is elected, all "hope" will be gone.)
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To: NicknamedBob

Indeed. I agreed with her wholeheartedly, and thumped her firmly on the back. She likes that.


2,146 posted on 02/26/2008 5:22:58 PM PST by Tax-chick (If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
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To: NicknamedBob

Just business....

and your patent on sunshine is what #?


2,147 posted on 02/26/2008 5:33:22 PM PST by rottndog (When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
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To: Tax-chick

If it had been me practicing, she would have hid under the bed with her ears covered.


2,148 posted on 02/26/2008 5:34:50 PM PST by darkangel82 (If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. (Say no to RINOs))
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To: rottndog; Monkey Face; Tax-chick

My patent isn’t on sunshine.

My business is the bringing of it. It’s kinda like “light insurance”.


2,149 posted on 02/26/2008 5:38:03 PM PST by NicknamedBob (Tired of the hype about Hope? ... Just wait. When Obama is elected, all "hope" will be gone.)
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To: NicknamedBob

Kinda like the teamsters...


2,150 posted on 02/26/2008 5:38:57 PM PST by rottndog (When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
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To: rottndog

Besides ...

I found out I couldn’t patent it. Previously invented.

Some outfit called the “Let-There-Be Light” Company.


2,151 posted on 02/26/2008 5:40:50 PM PST by NicknamedBob (Tired of the hype about Hope? ... Just wait. When Obama is elected, all "hope" will be gone.)
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To: rottndog
"Kinda like the teamsters... "

Or the Punsters.

2,152 posted on 02/26/2008 5:41:48 PM PST by NicknamedBob (Tired of the hype about Hope? ... Just wait. When Obama is elected, all "hope" will be gone.)
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To: Monkey Face
You just wait til your father gets home!



I'm quaking in my boots, El Face-O. Maybe he'll get rid of that Eddie Haskell punk once and for all.
2,153 posted on 02/26/2008 5:48:58 PM PST by Das Outsider ("The world is surely full of mystery and poetry."--Pelham (I.O.U., $10))
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To: darkangel82

I’m considered (by objective observers) to have a pleasant voice and a nice accent in Spanish. However, I do go flat when I haven’t worked on a song enough!


2,154 posted on 02/26/2008 6:17:48 PM PST by Tax-chick (If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
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To: Tax-chick

I think Wednesday was being “objective”.

By the way, does your accent in Spanish have a “Yankee twang”?


2,155 posted on 02/26/2008 6:35:56 PM PST by NicknamedBob (Tired of the hype about Hope? ... Just wait. When Obama is elected, all "hope" will be gone.)
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To: All

Hello and maybe good night all. Wrestling with cellphone upgrade difficulties...


2,156 posted on 02/26/2008 6:53:54 PM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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To: sionnsar

New unit?

Did the upgrade thing, myself a couple of weeks ago. COSTCO had a $119.00 Nokia 6555 for $119.00 off. My account was eligible... How could I resist?

BEST feature: PTT [Push-To-Talk] Think “verbal IM-ing.” No more thumb fatigue. Just like a cell call, but there’s no ring-ring-ring while you wait for your party to answer, AND it works with GROUPS, so you can get a gang of folks on the horn all at once. Hello, “Flash Meeting”?

BTW: I owe you “Thanks” for the Kubuntu “LiveCD” tip. I downloaded Gutsy to a DVD+R, and am posting to you using Konqueror.

So far; so good.


2,157 posted on 02/26/2008 8:50:22 PM PST by HKMk23 (TAG! You're IT!!)
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To: NicknamedBob

LOL!


2,158 posted on 02/26/2008 9:26:55 PM PST by rottndog (When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
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To: NicknamedBob
does your accent in Spanish have a “Yankee twang”?

No, it's sort of "Texan redneck." One of the ladies who's joined our group is from Colombia, and the other is from Puerto Rico. All of us pronounce words a little differently!

2,159 posted on 02/27/2008 3:05:21 AM PST by Tax-chick (If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
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To: NicknamedBob
Yep. About 10 to one set, 15 to the other.

Should work out great whenever Zon and I go out on a "date".

2,160 posted on 02/27/2008 5:02:08 AM PST by Dead Corpse (What would a free man do?)
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