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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: rottndog

Morning(or afternoon here.)


1,881 posted on 02/22/2008 9:12:46 AM PST by darkangel82 (If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. (Say no to RINOs))
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To: rottndog

Afternoon! Cold enough for you?


1,882 posted on 02/22/2008 9:25:18 AM PST by Tax-chick (If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
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To: Tax-chick; darkangel82

Not so much cold here as it is wet.


1,883 posted on 02/22/2008 9:32:08 AM PST by rottndog (When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
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To: Monkey Face

‘Face, you around?


1,884 posted on 02/22/2008 10:13:54 AM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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To: sionnsar; Monkey Face

If I’m cold and wet here, I’m sure MF is in some sort of low temp stasis.


1,885 posted on 02/22/2008 10:17:28 AM PST by rottndog (When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
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DOH!


1,886 posted on 02/22/2008 10:17:53 AM PST by rottndog (When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
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To: rottndog
You're probably correct.

It's cool here, but warmer than it usually is this time of year. Maybe a good thing for me, now that my weeklong visit to summer is over.

1,887 posted on 02/22/2008 10:24:27 AM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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To: sionnsar

It’s raining here, too. I feel like I’m in the Northwest!


1,888 posted on 02/22/2008 10:29:54 AM PST by Tax-chick (If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
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To: Tax-chick

Rained all last night.

Fairly mild though, little colder, but we need the water.


1,889 posted on 02/22/2008 10:44:00 AM PST by A CA Guy ( God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: rottndog; sionnsar; Dead Corpse; Tax-chick; All
...I’m sure MF is in some sort of low temp stasis.

Er...it's just 'Face, if you don't mind.

And yes, I've been cold all morning, plus I woke up ant 0330 and couldn't get back to sleep, so I have the Slows.

Glad you're back, sion, though it sounds like the Return Flight From Hell.

1,890 posted on 02/22/2008 10:47:21 AM PST by Monkey Face (It's not the load that breaks you down but the way you carry it.)
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To: OPS4; sionnsar; Dead Corpse; Darksheare

We actually need the zombies to work in the lower levels of the castle.

Although some of them have defected to the Democraps, the Dust Bunnies have put such fear into them that the zombies will do nothing but blather about the heat of the carbon footprints they leave.

Welcome!


1,891 posted on 02/22/2008 10:50:05 AM PST by Monkey Face (It's not the load that breaks you down but the way you carry it.)
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To: Monkey Face
Glad you're back, sion, though it sounds like the Return Flight From Hell.

Return Flight From Hell? No... this is the Return Flight From Hell!

HellFly

1,892 posted on 02/22/2008 11:15:23 AM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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To: Monkey Face

Sorry to hear that. I was awake at 6:30 but I know better than to think I’m on schedule.


1,893 posted on 02/22/2008 11:16:24 AM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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To: Monkey Face
I said DOH!....
1,894 posted on 02/22/2008 11:25:19 AM PST by rottndog (When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
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To: A CA Guy
but we need the water.

Yes, so do we. I just don't feel like going out in the cold and wet. Anoreth was annoyed that I wouldn't go to the library!

1,895 posted on 02/22/2008 11:28:55 AM PST by Tax-chick (If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
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To: rottndog

Yah. Right. I heard ya the first time! LOL!


1,896 posted on 02/22/2008 11:29:01 AM PST by Monkey Face (It's not the load that breaks you down but the way you carry it.)
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To: A CA Guy

How are things going with you and the new Mrs CA Guy?


1,897 posted on 02/22/2008 11:29:48 AM PST by Monkey Face (It's not the load that breaks you down but the way you carry it.)
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To: sionnsar

How many pipers are there?

And was the plane airborne? The sound must have been excruciating in such a small space.


1,898 posted on 02/22/2008 11:31:21 AM PST by Monkey Face (It's not the load that breaks you down but the way you carry it.)
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To: Monkey Face

I think about a dozen piping and yes, the plane was airborne. It was a tradition for us when we flew to Ketchikan to pipe for the 4th of July, at the city’s & merchants’ expense. The band was much younger then, and things weren’t as uptight as they are now — I don’t think they do this anymore.


1,899 posted on 02/22/2008 11:36:07 AM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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To: Monkey Face

Suitcase just arrived...


1,900 posted on 02/22/2008 11:41:04 AM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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