Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

[mattstat]

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

[Tax-chick]

I washed Tom up from his last catastrophe with soap and water. Anoreth eventually stopped crashing her bike and walking into trees, so maybe he will, too.

[darkangel82]

I never walked into a tree but I almost fell out of one once. I never climbed another after that.

[Tax-chick]

I never had much in the way of opportunties to climb trees.

[darkangel82]

We lived in a house with a big yard and quite a few trees, and I was only 9 or 10 back then. All part of being a boy that age, I guess.

[Tax-chick]

My boys climb all kinds of stuff. Not the trees around here, though, because they’re covered with poison ivy.

[darkangel82]

I never went in the woods behind our house for that reason.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Never could understand the appeal of a sport that has an ambulance wait at the bottom of the hill. :)

[Monkey Face]

Yep. I walk or drive. Life is too short to waste in the ambulance!

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Not to mention traction.

"Yes, we know you broke your leg so we are going to hang this heavy weight from it..." No, thank you!

My motto is "no pain, no pain"

[Monkey Face]

Been in traction. Don’t wanna go there again! LOL!

[darkangel82]

I’ve never “been there” but I have had other unpleasant experiences.

[Monkey Face]

Yahbut...you’re here, now. You’re alive and well and part of the UT. Life can’t get much better than that!

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Which is why I stayed indoors all day.

Ditch parties are not my idea of a fun time.

[darkangel82]

Mine either. Once as a kid I got myself into series trouble by going out in bad weather, but we won’t talk about that right now.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Life can’t get much better than that!

Well, it could but I am out of chocolate.

[darkangel82]

I have a Hershey bar here but I’m saving it for tomorrow, since I’ve had enough junk today.

[Monkey Face]

I got lost when I was 12, but it wasn’t my fault: I relied on the kids who were older. The very ones who said my ideas were stupid. It was a long night....

[Monkey Face]

Not me! I’m NEVER out of chocolate of some kind! LOL!

Hershey’s Kisses, brownie mix, cocoa, cake mix, chocolate chip cookie mix, frosting, Tootsie-Pops....the list goes on...

:o])

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I have been know to eat Quik from the can with a spoon.

But I am doing much better now.

[darkangel82]

I was 10 when I went out in the rain with a friend, and got quite sick as a result. I learned my lesson, and learned it good.