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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: darkangel82

I washed Tom up from his last catastrophe with soap and water. Anoreth eventually stopped crashing her bike and walking into trees, so maybe he will, too.


1,061 posted on 02/10/2008 2:43:40 PM PST by Tax-chick ("Political zombies need brains, but they hunger only for taxes." ~ NicknamedBob)
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To: Tax-chick

I never walked into a tree but I almost fell out of one once. I never climbed another after that.


1,062 posted on 02/10/2008 2:47:51 PM PST by darkangel82 (If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. (Say no to RINOs))
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To: darkangel82

I never had much in the way of opportunties to climb trees.


1,063 posted on 02/10/2008 2:48:57 PM PST by Tax-chick ("Political zombies need brains, but they hunger only for taxes." ~ NicknamedBob)
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To: Tax-chick

We lived in a house with a big yard and quite a few trees, and I was only 9 or 10 back then. All part of being a boy that age, I guess.


1,064 posted on 02/10/2008 2:56:25 PM PST by darkangel82 (If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. (Say no to RINOs))
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To: darkangel82

My boys climb all kinds of stuff. Not the trees around here, though, because they’re covered with poison ivy.


1,065 posted on 02/10/2008 2:57:52 PM PST by Tax-chick ("Political zombies need brains, but they hunger only for taxes." ~ NicknamedBob)
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To: Tax-chick

I never went in the woods behind our house for that reason.


1,066 posted on 02/10/2008 3:06:27 PM PST by darkangel82 (If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. (Say no to RINOs))
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To: darkangel82; Monkey Face; Tax-chick
Never could understand the appeal of a sport that has an ambulance wait at the bottom of the hill. :)
1,067 posted on 02/10/2008 3:13:26 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Yep. I walk or drive. Life is too short to waste in the ambulance!


1,068 posted on 02/10/2008 3:15:34 PM PST by Monkey Face (If earwigs get the name from crawling into ears, where does the word "cockroach" come from?)
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To: Monkey Face
Not to mention traction.

"Yes, we know you broke your leg so we are going to hang this heavy weight from it..." No, thank you!

My motto is "no pain, no pain"

1,069 posted on 02/10/2008 3:20:29 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Been in traction. Don’t wanna go there again! LOL!


1,070 posted on 02/10/2008 3:24:43 PM PST by Monkey Face (If earwigs get the name from crawling into ears, where does the word "cockroach" come from?)
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To: Monkey Face

I’ve never “been there” but I have had other unpleasant experiences.


1,071 posted on 02/10/2008 3:53:19 PM PST by darkangel82 (If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. (Say no to RINOs))
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To: darkangel82

Yahbut...you’re here, now. You’re alive and well and part of the UT. Life can’t get much better than that!


1,072 posted on 02/10/2008 3:57:06 PM PST by Monkey Face (If earwigs get the name from crawling into ears, where does the word "cockroach" come from?)
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To: darkangel82; Monkey Face
Which is why I stayed indoors all day.

Ditch parties are not my idea of a fun time.

1,073 posted on 02/10/2008 3:57:29 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear; Tax-chick; Monkey Face

Mine either. Once as a kid I got myself into series trouble by going out in bad weather, but we won’t talk about that right now.


1,074 posted on 02/10/2008 4:02:06 PM PST by darkangel82 (If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. (Say no to RINOs))
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To: Monkey Face; darkangel82
Life can’t get much better than that!

Well, it could but I am out of chocolate.

1,075 posted on 02/10/2008 4:03:28 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

I have a Hershey bar here but I’m saving it for tomorrow, since I’ve had enough junk today.


1,076 posted on 02/10/2008 4:04:35 PM PST by darkangel82 (If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. (Say no to RINOs))
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To: darkangel82; Harmless Teddy Bear

I got lost when I was 12, but it wasn’t my fault: I relied on the kids who were older. The very ones who said my ideas were stupid. It was a long night....


1,077 posted on 02/10/2008 4:05:01 PM PST by Monkey Face (If earwigs get the name from crawling into ears, where does the word "cockroach" come from?)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear; darkangel82

Not me! I’m NEVER out of chocolate of some kind! LOL!

Hershey’s Kisses, brownie mix, cocoa, cake mix, chocolate chip cookie mix, frosting, Tootsie-Pops....the list goes on...

:o])


1,078 posted on 02/10/2008 4:07:40 PM PST by Monkey Face (If earwigs get the name from crawling into ears, where does the word "cockroach" come from?)
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To: Monkey Face; darkangel82
I have been know to eat Quik from the can with a spoon.

But I am doing much better now.

1,079 posted on 02/10/2008 4:11:14 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
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To: Monkey Face

I was 10 when I went out in the rain with a friend, and got quite sick as a result. I learned my lesson, and learned it good.


1,080 posted on 02/10/2008 4:11:20 PM PST by darkangel82 (If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. (Say no to RINOs))
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