Posted on 01/10/2007 5:18:17 AM PST by PJ-Comix
What do you call it when a woman features two days in a row a photo in her blog of a barechested man in a bathing suit emerging from the water? I call it obsessed. And Arianna Huffington is absolutely obsessed with that photo of Barack Obama emerging from the water at the beach. Since Arianna featured two stories in two days this week at the HUffington Post about that story, we can now claim that Arianna is definitely stalking Obama. Mrs. Obama better watch out since Arianna has a record of going after prominent men as she is apparently doing with her stalking of Obama. The first of Arianna's stalking stories was this Monday with Obama Bares It In Hawaii... However, Arianna could not get enough of her Barack so she followed up with the same pic on Tuesday with Obama Comments On His Beach Body: "Stop Looking At It"... Sorry, Obama, but Arianna can't stop looking at IT. She is positively drooling over you as your stalker-in-chief. So let us now watch the HUffies react to Arianna drooling over Obama in hot Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that Arianna's sentiment could be best expressed by a song set to the tune of "I Don't Know How To Love Him" written by Charles Henrickson below, is in the [brackets]:
I don't know why I love him,
My Barack, my Obama;
I've been charmed, yes really charmed,
By his trim physique, so slim and sleek--
I'm awed by his mystique.
I don't know why he's running,
I don't see any substance;
No real plan, flash in the pan,
And I've heard such empty words before
That when I close my eyes
He's just a bore.
But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.
Don't you think it's rather shallow
I should vote for this fellow?
I'm the one who's always been
So pure, so pissed, so feminist;
I don't need men, oh no--
He scares me so.
But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.
Yet, like in a romance novel,
I'm in love with a male model;
I've got to look! He signed my book!
My heart runs wild! I'll bear his child!
I want the world to know:
He's my "Big O"!
Obama, go!
I love you so!
Obama Bares It In Hawaii...
[Drooled Arianna.]
People captured Sen. Barack Obama's (D-IL) trip to a Hawaiian beach New Year's Day. His photo appears next to those of Penelope Cruz and Hugh Jackman.
[Arianna has eyes only for Osama/Obama.]
what is the friggin point of posting this kind of crap.
[SHHHH! You're interrupting Arianna in mid-drool.]
I'd buy people Magazine if they'd run a photo of Chimpy going face-first off his bicycle while eating pretzels.
[Would you but it if they ran a photo of Teddy in a bathing suit eating a whale?]
Those of us who remember JFK pics, remember that he was often pictured shirt off at the beach or on a boat. It just projects the image of health and virility and gets the gay and female vote. So why the hell not? He sure looks a damn sight better than G.W. And who wants to see a half naked McCain, anyway. And if McCain uses the race card, Obama can use the age card...just by showing these pics. :)))
[Obama campaign strategy by another stalker. BTW, I was at the Miami Seaquarium once and swear I saw an angry tortoise that looked exactly like McCain.]
This is good. It shows him relaxed and having fun. You always see him in a suit, crusading on behalf of citizens, articulating a vision of hope, etc. So this is a good, temporary departure.
[Is that you drooling, Ben Burch?]
Mmmm-hmmm. Barack's not so skinny after all. Personally, I like a bit of meat on the bones.
[Actually this sounds a lot more like Ben Burch.]
Mrs. Obama had better get ready to help her husband fight off all the interns, because HE IS GOING TO GET ATTENTION! And it'll be the kind of attention that will make her even meaner than she already is! Wooo! That chick is scary. On the other hand, he' a prize, so perhaps it comes with the territory....
[She will also have to fight off Arianna fighting off all the interns in order to get first dibs at Barack.]
It was about time, that Huffpo showed some male flesh!!
[That HAS to be Ben Burch.]
Now really, why would Huffington put this on the site?
[It's called stalking.]
Who gives a flying crap that the man is without a shirt in Hawaii on vacation... Huffpo, THIS IS NOT NEWS! Stop wasting people's time by posting inconsequential articles.
[You just set off a new round of drooling by Arianna with that comment about a man without a shirt.]
Arianna Huffington has become one of the sleaziest publishers on the internet. This Obama piece is an embarrassment. And the current photo of Mrs. Clinton, that I have no doubt, was custom-chosen by Arianna is nothing short of malevolence. What goes around comes around Arianna.
[Stand by. Arianna's not done yet. She will be posting the same Obama photo the next day.]
It's not like he is wearing a Speedo.
[And an EXTRA LARGE jockstrap.]
What? Sleazy? I doubt that. This website is the bomb baby!!! If anything, Ariana is helping to bring sexy back! Justin Timberlake can't do it alone. You know?
[Arianna is turning the HUffington Post into People Magazine.]
Well he's in better shape than Dennis The Hippo Hastert!
[Or Teddy The Whale Kennedy.]
I readily admit, that I have always been partial to a nice tan, but gee wiz! I have never seen a prettier tan than Barack's! The man's skin is like HONEY & BUTTER mixed together.
[Ben Burch or Arianna? It's hard to figure out who posted that analysis.]
But I think he could use a little work with the weights to get a little more muscle tone and diffinition. Because even at my age , I'm a little better ripped than he is. But I have an obsession with the weight room and I love to run as well. I guess I'm just freaky like that. I'm always the oldest guy breaken a sweat and lovin it.
[That sounds like Ben Burch lying about his physique.]
Hot and cute. Yum!
[And so concludes an Arianna HUffington editorial. And now on to her second obsessive Obama beach STORY...]
Obama Comments On His Beach Body: "Stop Looking At It"...
[Sorry, Arianna just can't help herself.]
Some pecs that Obama has. Now stop looking. That's an order from himself.
[Typed Arianna thru rivers of drool.]
Sen. Barack Obama is sensitive about getting kidded for his ears. Now, courtesy of paparazzi staking him out on his recent Hawaii vacation, some of the rest of him is available for public inspection.
[And Arianna is sure inspecting him quite publicly.]
Is HUFFPO really wasting space on this story for a second day in a row?
[Quit interrupting Arianna in mid-stalk.]
Former Congressman Mark Foley has also expressed the exact same sentiment in that looking at the body of Sen. Obama was wrong in that it was far too aged and not nearly fresh enough. We should all follow the lead of former Congressman Mark Foley.
[That is definitely Ben Burch.]
I agree. this is stupid. stop looking at it and featuring it. How low will "we" go?
[Arianna would love to go lower on Obama.]
He says stop looking at it so you run the picture again... Hey Arianna - Stop Stalking Obama!!!
[Jealous?]
Even his nipples have charisma
[Analyzed Ben Burch.]
I like what I see. He looks very happy.
[Is that a gun in his pocket or is he just happy to see Arianna?]
I just hope that going topless does not set-the-bar for the 2008 elections. We may be forced to look at a really booby prize.
[A horrible image of Hillary just came to mind.]
Now I want to see all the other possible presidential candidates topless too, please!!
[You really want to see a half naked Evil Elf?]
this is the first indication of the Frenchification of America (politicians bare themselves all the time over there)
[And make it even worse by wearing tiny bikini bottoms.]
How incideous and devious is corporate media. How stupid and shallow its consumers. How simple minded the editors of Huffington Post to be complicit in the act of denigrating and diminishing a democratic senator who has demonstrated at least in speech a real understanding of the plight of this democracy. Can't you see that this little juxtapositioning of this man with actors and actresses follicking at the beach is an effort to make him less statesmanlike, less presidential,less worthy of serious attention. Think John Kerry windserfing. You may think this harmless fun. It is not, It is agitprop at work.
[A Marxist spin on Arianna's obsession.]
This has to be the line of the day.
John Kerry has a windserf go in the water for him?!
Sometimes I call him "B.O. Plenty," after the cartoon character.
They did have two children together but I believe he was gay before he married her although living with that phony woman could turn anybody! Ah, yes, Arianna: the smartest woman in the world next to Hitlery couldn't figure out that her husband was gay! And nobody brings this up!
Yeah, I remember when I got my first thesaurus.
Look at those thighs and the bad dye job - awful!
UNNNNNNGH!!
Geez man, that's just Nasty...
man! look at the ears on that guy.
One strong gust of wind and he'll be the Flying Nun.
You can't make fun of his ears! The poor baby will get his feelings hurt...
Dick Tracy's publisher hated the character of B.O. Plenty. In fact the publisher hated almost all the weird looking characters that Chester Gould had in that strip. There was a constant battle going on over this between Gould and the publisher who thought that Tracy should be just about straight arrow crime fighting without all the bizarre stuff which is really what made the strip popular. Gould retaliated by basing one of his strange characters on the publisher and even included another character based on the publisher's annoying daughter.
p.s. Tracy's partner, Sam, was based on Chester Gould's agent.
Are you still working on Sandy Berger parody song lyrics? I have another idea based on "Oh Where Oh Where Could My Baby Be" called "Oh Where Oh Where Could My Sandy Be." It is sung from the POV of Bill Clinton who is wondering why his Sandy hasn't returned from the National Archives.
I'm just trying to toughen him up.
Maybe he is only a Dem because he's a sniveling wimp? Maybe he comes over to our side once he's been steeled.
I don't think there's any hope for him. Anyone who's that touchy about his ears is probably always going to be a wuss.
The song is "Last Kiss."
Yeah, plus the last guy Ariana fell this hard for ended up turning gay. He's pretty much doomed.
Ariana wormed her way into some photo op with Arnold and look what's happening to him? She's like Grendel's mother.
Not at the moment. I actually have had non-FR things going on in my life. :-) And I figure if I can't win with "The Sandy Man" or "(Sittin' Where) The Documents Lay," then I probably wouldn't win anyway. But if I think I can work a fresh angle with a new idea or one of your ideas, I'll give it a shot. I could use the prize money.
Back in post 28 of this thread, you wrote:
I had Bill Bennett on streaming radio this morning and I could have sworn I heard a snippet of you second parody you sent him (Sittin On The Dock Of The Bay). Not sure because I was in the other room at the time. Anyone else hear that?
Obviously, I too would be curious to know if anyone else heard that. We don't get Bennett's show here in St. Louis, and I was busy this morning and unable to listen off the Internet.
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