Attention: UFO Wack-Jobs, Crypto-Zoo-Lunatics And Conspira-nuts!

The Hairy Beast - Come, Let’s Waste Your Precious Time! ^ | 12/06/2006 | The Hairy Beast

[Mongeaux]

Welcome to the site!

Several days ago in an uncharacteristic burst of productivity, The Beast crafted a mildy amusing satire (Below) poking fun at Conspiracy freaks, the MSM Fauxtographers, and French Genius Jerry Lewis. One need only look at the header, "Bush Lied, International Polar Moon Camp Already There!", to realize that this is not a serious work of journalism. It's FAKE. It's a JOKE!

The column ran through its typical one-hundred-reads-over-twenty-four-hours cycle uneventfully, and then something odd happened; yesterday it got another hundred reads.

Well, so what? Two hundred reads on an internet of billions barely qualifies as any at all. If this were an ecosystem, The Hairy Beast would not even qualify as a single-celled organism: he would most likely be a fragment of some minor amino acid like Trypotphan*. But this was a mystery (albeit - of the “Where’s Waldo?” variety) and mysteries need to be solved.

Twelve seconds of research later all was made clear: the story had been picked up by an E-zine devoted to Unidentified Flying Objects! UFOReview.net, a bi-monthly UFO News Ezine, had used its cyber-flagella to sift the headline from the datastream like a drifting mote of of plankton and placed a link to it in its Tuesday “news” section. There was no comment or description of any kind, just the silly title and a link.

Um…”News”?

[Mongeaux]

These people will believe ANYTHING!

[Quix]

As my very, very brilliant Mormon Bishop dissertation chairman explained regarding his own acceptance of Mormon theology inspite of the (denied) multiple revisions of the Book of Mormon . . .

"LIFE IS SOOOOOOOOO COMPLEX, JUST ABOUT ANY COCK-A-MAY-MEE EXPLANATION WILL DO."

[Mongeaux]

AMEN, Brother! Does this look like real photo smuggled out of a secret Moon Base to you?

[Quix]

LOL

[Mongeaux]

The original story was based on a series of production photos from the 1966 Jerry Lewis space comedy "Way...Way Out!". I posted them with captions declaring them to be secret proof of an existing moon base. Then the UFO sites started linking to it, based on the title of the piece, which can be read here: Bush Lied, International Polar Moon Camp Already There!

They don't appear to realize it's all a joke.

[darkwing104]

Now you tell me. Where am I going to land this thing then?

[Mongeaux]

Now you tell me. Where am I going to land this thing then?

We're full up - take it over to the Alien Base on the Dark Side. They agreed to take our overflow and we've set up a shuttle service.

And DON'T let them talk you into staying for lunch! They put WAY too much Polonium in all their sauces.

[cripplecreek]

Are you trying to tell me that Jerry Lewis really isn't from the moon?

[Mongeaux]

Are you trying to tell me that Jerry Lewis really isn't from the moon?

DUH. Everybody knows he's an ALIEN!

[tractorman]

Q. What did the Martian say when he landed in a Wal Mart parking lot?


A. Take me to your greeter.

[Quix]

I'm of the opinion

that REALITY is soooooooooooooooooooo far . . .

tweaked, twisted and otherwise twerpy

that by the time someone gets around to writing a satire of it . . . the satire is tame compared to the "objective" reality, whatever THAT is.

[Quix]

[Quix]

Are you trying to tell me that Jerry Lewis really isn't from the moon?
= = = =

Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, NOT a moon in THIS galactic cluster!