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DUmmie FUnnies 09-18-06 ("Yesterday, I Bought a Gun")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | September 18, 2006 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 09/18/2006 6:06:49 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

Remember the movie, The American President? It was standard liberal claptrap written by Aaron ("West Wing") Sorkin. The climax of this forgettable flick was a chip-on-the-shoulder speech by President Andrew Shepherd in which he strongly supported the banning of assault weapons and handguns. That was unquestioned liberal orthodoxy eleven years ago when that movie was made. However, it now appears that the Left has not only ditched the gun control shtick but now actively advocates arming themselves. Not against criminals but to fight against EVIL Republicans. They have even recently embraced the movie, "Red Dawn" which has until recently been denounced as a rightwing flick. Now the DUmmies are embracing this movie as a blueprint for their own imagined survivalist struggle against the Republicans where they fantasize themselves as leftwing Wolverines. This complete change in attitude towards guns can be seen in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Yesterday, I Bought a Gun." So let us now join the DUmmies as they fantasize themselves as leftist gunslingers in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wearing a bullet-proof vest, is in the [brackets]:

Yesterday, I Bought a Gun.

[WOLVERINES!!!]

It's a nice .223 mod. What did I buy it for you ask? Protection, nope. Hunting, nope. Harm to Others, Nope. I bought it for the day in my life when a war comes to my backdoor. I plan to keep it safe and very secure from my family and never intend to use it until either the Republican Army or the christians come knocking on my door.

[Of course, this DUmmie doesn't even consider the possibility of a struggle with ACTUAL Muslim terrorists.]

With that said, if they come with hostility, I'll blow their kneecaps off.

[First you have to learn how to aim.]

However, what if this "conflict" never happens, what will I do with this gun? It's simple, I'll be buried with it and a copy of the Constitution because that's what its all about, loving your country, and making sure you and yours are safe.

[You'll be buried under a pile of empty pizza cartons in a testament to your useless life in mommy's basement. Perhaps a friend will ennoble your pathetic existence by setting fire to those pizza cartons to give you a faux Viking funeral.]

For when the sword is mighter than the pen, you will live to see another day.

[Is that from "The Two Towers" or "Return of the King?"]

PS, I hope there are some ammo stores availabe during the apocolypse. Oh wait, we'll have the big black L on our shoulder so we won't be able to buy ammo.

[Even worse, you won't be able to buy toilet paper.]

They steal another election and we'll all be buying guns.

[You can then shoot yourself with a paintgun.]

I'm just saying that another round of Republican rule and we'll all have to become survivalists, 'cuz they don't seem to understand their responsibility to the public when catastrophe hits.

[Can you survive without order out pizza for a week?]

Hey, I'll tell you one other thing, there's a hippy farm about 30 miles from where I live. Hell I'll just head down there. The feds never mess with their "Hemp" production.

[Smoke all the hemp you want. Why change your lifestyle?]

Russian soldiers refused to fire on their countrymen... ---- And American soldiers, except for a few nutcases, will do so, too. In fact, it is highly unlikely that the Pentagon would follow the neocons down the path to military dictatorship. Not everyone is as crazy as the PNAC. ---- But just for the record, the American population is just about the best-armed civilian population on Earth. Those attempting to enforce widespread martial law would be faced off against 30-40 million armed Americans,.... who, after the first week, would have M-16's, too. ---- Thomas Jefferson could scarcely have imagined where history and technology would lead, but he understood human nature. 2nd amendment gun rights are not about hunting or recreation.

[I'm tempted to make the LOUSY FREEPER TROLL accusation but now I'm not so sure since the DUmmies have done a big one-eighty on the topic of gun control when they started thinking they would have to fight the EVIL Republicans.]

As far as a personal arsenal goes, I'd recommend one handgun (concealable defensive weapon,) one 12 gauge shotgun, and one rifle such as an AR-15, Kalashnikov, M-1 Garand or SKS.

[A DUmmie munitions expert weighs in.]

JOIN THE NRA NOW!!!!.....AND SHOW Them that libs and progressives beleieve in the right to bare arms.....

[Benburch believes in the right to bare buttocks.]

Lets satrt the DRA !!!

[DUmmie Rifle Association.]

But, at this point in time, there are other things to be concerned about and plan for. For instance, there's no doubt the blog-o-sphere has hurt these bastards. What happens if they decide to take it down under the guise of some free market bullshit? We all KNOW the corporate media hates the competition. One day DU just doesn't come up anymore. What multiplies our strength is the ability to communicate and get the truth out. It would be prudent to have other options available, wouldn't it ?

[Don't worry. I told Karl Rove to keep the blog-o-sphere up and running since you DUmmies are such a rich source for DUFU comedy material.]

Yep, and if you're going to use your gun to fight fascists, those fascists are likely to be in the form of a SWAT team, so you'll want to aim for the head, as the torso will be heavily armored.

[And of course the fascists that this DUmmie means are EVIL Republicans, not actual Islamofascist terrorists.]

I used to be adamantly anti-gun. No more. I haven't bought a gun yet, but I've thought about it.

[Especially after watching the "V For Vendetta" fantasy.]

I recently bought one too... It's a nice .40cal Ruger Semi-Auto, and it scares the living hell out of me. I've taken it out the the shooting range a few times now and there are no questions that it will obliterate anything unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end. I hope to God that never happens, but I'm starting to feel a sense of security when I think about the fundamentalist nut jobs taking to the streets to bring us all to Jesus... If you start pushing your religious ideology on the rest of us, or dicking around with our civil rights, you'd best skip my place...

[Another DUmmie apparently unaware of the proclivities of REAL LIFE decapitating Islamofascist terrorists. Instead he lives in a "V For Vendetta" dreamworld.]

i am also armed with a .223 M4 carbine. The perfect CQB weapon next to the MP5, but can 'reach out and touch someone' effectively at 300 meters. You may want a sidearm too, a 9mm or .45ACP, as a last ditch defense or for a suicide out in a no-win worst case scenario. In these insane times its a sane choice to have a service weapon to defend your home. It's what's commonly referred to an STHF scenario, or Shit Hit The Fan, when society collapses into turmoil from civil unrest, catastrophic disasters, tyrannical government, religious fanatics, or zombies rising from the dead.

[I recommend you go straight to that suicide scenario from the get-go.]

As for the Microwave units that will undoubtedly be used against the populace at some point, since we're all guinea pigs to them anyway, bring a roll of TIN FOIL, drop it to the ground as you hang onto the free end of the roll in front of your body - creating a shield, and not only will it offer some protection, it will also play havoc with the unit sending the microwaves, especially if a BUNCH of people aimed the waves right back at them.

[And don't forget to roll that tinfoil into the shape of a hat to wear on your head.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2a; 2ndamendment; bang; banglist; democrats; dummies; guns; nra; rkba; secondamendment; tinfoil
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To: CzarNicky

How was I to know, she was with the Russians too?


121 posted on 09/19/2006 6:51:20 AM PDT by jjm2111 (http://www.purveryors-of-truth.blogspot.com)
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To: PJ-Comix
Of course, the liberal sentiment of restricting arms to the state is overcome by the progressive (read, communist) sentiment of viva le revolution, long live Che.

The failed world socialist-communistic system has not made them willing to relinquish the integral yearning for Revolution as the touch-stone of the leftist.

The revolution, the chaos, is the constant solution to Order that the leftist knows will throw the world into a mode where his Vision can seize control.

122 posted on 09/19/2006 6:57:27 AM PDT by KC Burke (Men of intemperate minds can never be free...their passions forge their fetters.)
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To: mylife

What kind of round is good for fishin'?


123 posted on 09/19/2006 6:59:09 AM PDT by Ranxerox
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To: All

I don't begrudge anyone the right to self defense, and I think the more guns in the hands of honest citizens is never a bad thing.

But in the hands of these schitzo bunch of dingleberries...I just don't know..


124 posted on 09/19/2006 7:00:36 AM PDT by Armedanddangerous (May God bless Col. Jeff Cooper. Get well soon sir..)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I've always loved this picture. How the HELL is that dimwit aiming that at ANYTHING?


125 posted on 09/19/2006 7:02:38 AM PDT by Right Cal Gal
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To: PJ-Comix
I hope to God that never happens, but I'm starting to feel a sense of security when I think about the fundamentalist nut jobs taking to the streets to bring us all to Jesus...

It's just amazing how these people can watch real, live Muslim atrocities around the world on their television screens every day and then pretend that they are in danger of being behaded by Christians.

126 posted on 09/19/2006 7:26:27 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("When the government is invasive, the people are wanting." -- Tao Te Ching)
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To: PJ-Comix
IN!

I especially liked the perception that the evil bastards who will come to get them will be "fundie Christian nutjobs".

OTOH, I fully expect DUers to come ringing my doorbell asking me to "share my wealth" when/if SHTF. I'll share it with them, one round at a time.

127 posted on 09/19/2006 7:33:40 AM PDT by Sender ("We don't know who struck first, us or them. But we do know it was us that scorched the sky.")
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To: PJ-Comix
New winner of the 'Lousy Freeper Troll Award' was just posted... I have to post this before it is tombstoned..


128 posted on 09/19/2006 7:37:59 AM PDT by mnehring (http://abaraxas.blogspot.com/)
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To: MindBender26
Da Dude probably wouldn't recognise a Garand if he triped over it

Just look for libs with smashed thumbs and we'll know which ones have touched M1's. :)

129 posted on 09/19/2006 8:05:13 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (1 year guarantee against congenital defects.)
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To: PJ-Comix
"I plan to keep it safe and very secure from my family and never intend to use it until either the Republican Army or the christians come knocking on my door."

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Watch out for those Catholic girls with miniguns.

130 posted on 09/19/2006 8:05:47 AM PDT by CarryaBigStick
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To: hsalaw

It is truly puzzling how many libs really believe that Christians are a bigger threat to their liberties (not to mention their lives!) than muslims. My sister is a well educated college prof, but also a liberal, and is absolutely convinced that Christians are trying to take over the country and force her to pray. She even wrote a letter to the editor of our local rag, warning against the evils of insidious Christian indoctrination in the public schools. She has no kids, or she would know that its islam they are trying to ram down our kids throats and that Christianity is never even mentioned, much less practiced.


131 posted on 09/19/2006 8:06:50 AM PDT by ariamne (Proud shieldmaiden of the infidel--never forget, never forgive 9/11)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Poor old Willie.
Let the man get high ferrchrissakes.


132 posted on 09/19/2006 8:12:26 AM PDT by Feiny (Save the Whales. Collect the whole set.)
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To: PJ-Comix
So these idiots are threatening to kill some Mormon/Jehovah's Witness/etc. when they come to the door. Yeah that will really go over well when they claim self defense.
133 posted on 09/19/2006 8:28:52 AM PDT by looscnnn ("Olestra (Olean) applications causes memory leaks" PC Confusious)
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To: Charles Henrickson

That's hilarious, put me on the list. Better than the comedy channel.


134 posted on 09/19/2006 8:29:04 AM PDT by girlangler (Fish Fear Me)
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To: SolidusRaccoon
Ask a DUmmie what's a bigger threat.

A: The Muslim with a bomb strapped to their chest screaming "KILL KILL THE INFIDEL, JIHAD, DEATH TO AMERICA"

B: The little old Christian lady across the street who never bothers anyone.

You've obviously never been subjected to the little old Christian lady's meatloaf.

135 posted on 09/19/2006 8:42:42 AM PDT by Dont Mention the War (This tagline is false.)
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To: BamaAndy
So now some over there at du think Republicans and Christians are a threat???? I still do not undertsnad what it is they think they have lost--why they feel threatened or why the hatred for President Bush. He hasn't done anything "to" them except fight a war we have to fight. Not a word on islamofacists... what is wrong with their thinking????
What is it they want?
Idiocy, pure idiocy.

The left wing nuts believed that they would now be nearly complete in their plan of reshaping our government from a republic to a socialist democracy.

Jimmy Carter, followed by Ronald Reagan happened and people veered rightward from the leftward tilt of the previous years.

Bill Clinton made them believe that he would complete the plan. Then the Clintonistas steered voters into a Republican Congress for the first time in a couple of generations. Then G.W. Bush happened.

Many of the left wing moonbats are no longer willing to be patient and take over from within. They are like the vulture that wants to go kill something.

136 posted on 09/19/2006 8:54:44 AM PDT by Ghengis (Alexander was a wuss!)
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To: Joe Brower; PJ-Comix

Too funny ~ so, that's what the quislings over in DUmmyland are up too. >:-}


137 posted on 09/19/2006 9:54:12 AM PDT by blackie (Be Well~Be Armed~Be Safe~Molon Labe!)
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To: PJ-Comix
It's a nice .40cal Ruger Semi-Auto, and it scares the living hell out of me. I've taken it out the the shooting range a few times now and there are no questions that it will obliterate anything unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end.

Uh, yeah. When I'm taking out armored cars or wounded Cape Buffalo I always reach for my trusty .40. Bloody hell...

What we have before us is the "a gun is a magic wand" crap that you get from watching too many movies. "I'll buy it and hide it away and when the Revolution comes I'll break it out and...and...and magic will happen!" Yeah, right. And you get extra accuracy by turning the pistol sideways.

I do recall the look on one of my mildly-left-of-center NPR-listening friends when he really did purchase a .22 rifle and was handed the customary sheaf of paperwork. First disbelief, then a realization that the nasty Republican federal government now knew he had a firearm. "They do delete this data, right?" he asked me. "Sure they do," sez I, "Don't you trust them?" He'll never be an NRA member but I think he got the point.

138 posted on 09/19/2006 10:00:51 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: franksolich
Imagine, for example, that one "professor," that woman from Oregon or Arizona or whatever, running around with a gun.

If you mean Dr (Demented) Deb Fricsh,from what I gather from various blogs,she won't be running around anywhere for a while except maybe the prison courtyard,LOL.
139 posted on 09/19/2006 10:19:39 AM PDT by mrsmel (Men possess talent. Genius possesses men. Chocolate cravings possess women.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Does Algore know about this change in commie policy?


140 posted on 09/19/2006 10:29:39 AM PDT by Da Bilge Troll (Defeatism is not a winning strategy!)
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